Childcare during holiday dilemma. HELP!!!

[balancingact]

Hi,
A good friend of mine is getting married in Lake Garda in Sept and she is having the reception in a private island (10 mins boat ride). The problem is it will be virtually impossible to bring the kids to the wedding and the reception (no real facilities for them to sleep/rest etc) - my children will be nearly 4 and 1 1/2 at this time. DH and I definitely want to go and we won't leave the kids behind BUT we cannot take our live in nanny as she has 2 weddings to go to and actually asked for this week off (which is actually quite works if i can sort out the childcare for this one night)....My options are:

1. The place where we are staying (serviced apartments) can do baby sitting but don't know how good/mature they will be - she will have the children from 2pm to possibly 130 am ! (church wedding at 3pm and the first boat back to the main land is at 1 am). Slightly stressed if there will be a big language barrier etc etc
2. Hire a holiday nanny from here - though not ideal cost-wise, might be a better option than meeting someone there for first time. We probably will only let her stay with us for 3-4 days rather than whole week (so don't know if anyone would agree to this - to be fair, flight times etc not that long). I suppose teachers/teaching assts/nursery staff looking for a bit of extra cash - might appeal to them...(maybe?) apart from accomm and flight provided, what do we pay £80-100 per day?
3. Not go at all and give up?
4. We cannot leave them in the UK - not an option as fundamentally cannot leave my children whilst on holiday - at least not yet - i just know i won't enjoy it (am sure one day i will be able to!). Also, in laws not confident about looking after them and my family all overseas.

HELP. Anyone hired a holiday nanny before? is it worth coughing up the money?

could a close friend/friends dd help out?, come with you?

have been trying to think if someone might want to come with us (you know as a holiday on their own but ask for this favour that one night - which is a big thing to ask - it is after all 12 hours with my active kids....but so blatantly inviting someone so we could ask the favour IYSWIM.

I would think very carefully about leaving your children with a total stranger for such a long time when you won't exactly be able to just pop back if needed.

Lots of Nannies/Students do temp holiday jobs & I think that'd be a much better option for you.

Can you not just take the children & leave a little bit earlier?

ask around your friends, who would like a free hol, if they do one night of sitting??..then bugger off and sunbathe for rest of week..tbh, dont think many would do that, itd be too lonely

What about taking a uni student, if they haven't started back yet? Get them to babysit during the summer first. My friend loaned me her sensible teenaged niece last summer for a week, who was used to her kids of the same age, that worked out well. She was thrilled to get £100 at the end of the week.

You need a sorted babysitter relationship for home anyway. Well I do.

...that was my other dilemma (not being able to pop back quickly if there was any problem ) - because the island is private, the boat service will be sorted out by the couple - and it will run every hour from 1 am.
I just thought about my lovely polish cleaner (29) who my children love -- will it be a bit mean if say i asked her to fly with us on the friday but then DH drive her to the airport on sunday so that we have a few days just by ourselves?

Could she stay for at least a day or two after the wedding to make it worth it for her? Suggest it to her, the worst she can do is say no!

Look on www.greataupair.com for english speaking Itallian nannies. Or, get someone in Italy to recommend someone (is your friend Itallian or is this just the wedding location).

My nanny is actually leaving us at the end of june and heading off to holiday in Italy for a month or two. But, I think she plans to leave before August, so no good for a September arrival. Pity, she would have been ideal.

Don't you have any babysitters, friend's au pairs, etc. who could go with you?

If you are really stuck, I have an Italian friend. I could ask her if she knows anyone in Italy?

Alternatively, if you buy me a plane ticket and pay me in cash, I can come with you. I'm lovely with children and would gladly come hang out in Lake Garda for a couple of days.

Thanks for all the suggestions on here.
My friend is half english/half german so god knows why the wedding is in italy hahaha. we are now looking at the possiblity of taking my in-laws and paying for a separate room for them in the same complex (leave it to DH to blame me on spiralling household budgets but forgets all the lovely stuff we do for his family - bit of a mummy's boy really ) - which assuming they are willing and able, would be ok except for the financial hit. But hey, as long as he knows he is to blame for that, am ok with it!
Eleusis, i would happily take you with me as i might absorb all wisdom relating to childcare and child rearing by merely being in your presence. But alas, you wouldn't really want to hang out with all of DH's clan. (to be fair, at least he is not asking his sister as well.....)

No REALLY balancing act, I am prepared to hang out with most anyone if it involves a paid for trip to Lake Garda.

Whereabouts on the Lake is the wedding?
I have some relatives with small children in Riva/Torbole who may be able to recommend someone, or point you in the right direction.

It's in Gardone Riviera....
DH has come up with the simplest solution that i am embarassed i didn't think of it. He said we should go the wedding, bring our kids and then NOT go to the reception on the island. We still made the effort to come, but we won't spend the next 12 hours worrying about our kids (so unlikely to enjoy reception anyway).
I think i'm at peace with that!!!

What? Miss the reception on the Island? In beautiful Lake Garda? Can you go to the reception, bring the kids, and bring someone to look after the kids at the reception? Or is this a no kids allowed reception?

i know, i know....tbh it sounds a bit like a no kids allowed reception. i think most of the other people with children are taking their nannies. I think it will be a bit stressful because we need to leave the children with someone for c12 hours. The church service is at 3pm - then everyone goes straight to the boat to the island and the first boat back is at 1 am (and one every hour). Because it's a private island, the couple has arranged the boat service etc. Given my paranoid mind, i always think, what if something happened whilst we're there, how will we get back quickly? swim?
but then again, you are talking to the person who refuses to fly on the same plane as my husband to anywhere without the kids in case the plane goes down. That's why we have never gone anywhere without them
amazing really we managed to have a second child!
so no eleusis, i think we are just going to the church now - am secretly chuffed though as my DD (nearly 4 then) would be gutted not to see her godmother in a wedding gown which would have been the case with the whole private island thingy.
WHY CAN'T SHE just get married in a registry office somewhere . If she wasn't so nice i'd be annoyed with her. hahaha

So, the bride's godchild isn't going to the reception????

I think you better clear this with the bride before you execute the plan. And when you are talking to the bride, you could ask her if someone else might like to share their nanny and you split the cost?

I have actually spoken to her now and i think she is ok with it. She knows how obsessive i am so i think she can see how this would be ideal for me. Forgot to mention that she is throwing a dinner the day before the wedding on the main island and she said "PLEASE PLEASE bring them there". So going to that and church - at least i feel we haven't missed out TOO much on her celebrations. Just a bit gutted as she throws a fabulous party and i can pretend for a few hours that that's the world DH and i live in(hahaha). For her 30th last year, the celebrations were over 3 days in some swanky manor, grounds transformed by party organisers of MTV into a Riad/morrocan theme and vast amounts of alcohol consummed.
Did i say she is v. pretty, nice, wants nothing more than to start having children straight away and become a SAHM, and a great godmother and friend. In short, a nightmare

Well, your DH could always go back with the kids while you go to the reception...