Anyone help with a child I look after

[cm38]

I pick up and drop off a little bit (nearly 5) who is extremely highly strung and aggressive.
Mum struggles big time and asked for my help which I've got some advice for her regarding behaviour management which so far hasn't worked.

He does the following.

Doesn't play with others and if he does he is aggressive shouting and grabbing stuff off them.

He is very rough in general

He appears to have no concept of anything he does wrong including hurting not only other children but adults too.

He seems extremely strong and will not give in if he having one of his moments. He makes this angry face and almost shakes with anger. Today I've had to actually hold him tightly to stop him hurting me.

Any ideas?!

How is his speech?

Not great, but behind but he's been referred to speech therapy

Speech therapy will also be looking at any other social issues and are the first step in diagnosis of many problems other than speech.

You may find visual timetables and now and next charts help prepare him for what is going to happen.

Some children like a withdrawal space to calm down in....Ive seen the Ikea egg chair with cover used as well as dens or just a think about it corner where the child can go chill out and calm down.

What strategies are being used in school?
Are there particular times or events that make it worse like routine changes?

At 5 he still comes under the inclusion team they may have ideas for you do you have any cm support?

Thanks. He's not at school yet.
Hard to explain and this was the first week I've actually cared for him but doesn't a fair bit of time with him and mum out of work time.
He won't and can't calm down a lot of the time. He will smash stuff up, hurt other people and have no recognition he's even doing anything wrong.
He heat very wound up at things that aren't even visible and totally fly off the handle..feel for mum tbh.
I have had some help for her, as I said I don't usually look after him a lot.

A good OT would be able to tell if he's got sensory problems etc (if he's sensive to noise touch for example, someone brushing past him could be unbearable making him angry)

I would get his retained reflexes checked if I was his mum. If he has some that would explain a lot of this and he would really benefit from getting rid of them. (We see bob Allen in Windsor, he's done wonders for my sons)

Keep a record of the meltdowns and what happened immediately beforehand to see if you can spot a pattern. I have no training in ABA, and don't claim any great knowledge of it, but my basic understanding is that it may help identify a pattern of what causes the behaviour and may help you to deal with it before it happens.

Have you any sort of quiet space that he could go to when this happens, so that he can calm down?

It does sound like he may have additional needs, or he may just be experiencing frustration if his speech delay is preventing him from communicating properly.