Would this ring alarm bells with you? Anxiety attacks and tetany

[MrsFogi]

We have found an au pair we like etc. When I asked if she has any medical conditions we should be aware of she has disclosed that she suffers from anxiety attacks and tetany (and when asked frequency she tells me about once every six months). I have no experience of either condition so am wondering if this is something you'd consider a "no no" in an au pair? All experience and views would be very welcome here because on the one hand she appears good so I don't want to be unfair on the other I don't want to have an au pair with big issues (and I have no idea if this is an issue/big issue) for the coming year.

No idea about Tetany. I've had panic attacks in the past they can be pretty debilitating but it depends how frequent/long lasting they are.

Could you ask for some more information from her? Ask her if she thinks it would impact on the job, it's good she's been honest with you if nothing else.

We had an anorexic AuPair and I would never hire an AuPair again with mental issues. She was just not able to build a relationship with the kids as she was so taken up by her own problems that she couldn't really focus on the kids.
Don't know much about these problems though. Good luck!

Have you googled tetany? I suspect your ap may have translated it incorrectly its a symptom rather than a condition.

But no, if someone is having anxiety attacks they are not currently mentally stable and being an au pair in a foreign country is not the right thing for them to do.

Incidentally, I think i lot of potential au pairs have been put off by a combination of brexit and the horrible terror attacks that we've had. I'd put off finding someone for a bit (unless you're desperate).

I would be very wary of a young girl with mental health problems leaving the security of friends and family to move to a strange country, live in my house and look after my children. The move could well exacerbate her symptoms and you could end up needing to provide a lot of support.

I always feel a massive duty of care towards our au pairs because of their age and he fact they are usually in a big city for thre first time. It's quite a responsibility with a robust au pair. I'd be wary of taking on someone likely to have problems. As a working mum my time is stretched thin as it is so I would not feel I could provide the support that might be necessary.

tetany isn't a medical condition. ask her for the word in her language and get it translated. I wonder if she could mean epilepsy?

She sounds more honest than is probably good for her!

"Tetany" isn't really a medical condition by itself. Does she just mean cramps?!

Anxiety/panic attacks are extremely common but I suspect most au pairs just wouldn't have chosen to mention them when asked. Whether or not these are a problem will depend on how often they occur, what triggers them, whether she has a strategy for managing them, etc.

If she occasionally has panic attacks (e.g. once per year) that are triggered by major life events (e.g. break up of a serious relationship) then that's quite different from having panic attacks every time she leaves the house!

I was a nanny for a number of year (6) and I did, and still do, suffer from anxiety that I take medication for. However - I am an exceptionally good child carer. Perhaps it's because my anxiety isn't particularly related to every day issues but also - I've always found when I'm caring for small children that is an all consuming job and I find it hard to think about my own anxieties