mothers help - should I take on this person?

[sunnyjim]

Hi all,
I have been chatting to a couple of people for a p/t mothers help and have one person doing a trial this week.
Duties - arrive at our house 2.30pm and do an hours light household cleaning, ie wash up breakfast things, prepare DS tea, tidy toys, put a load of washing on, empty bins. Then at 3.30pm pick up DS from nursery and play with, give tea etc until 5.15/5.30pm when DH or I get back.

So I need some opinions, the woman currently trying out has one DD aged 3 1/2 (DS is 2), She has a CRB etc and seems nice enough.

Today she got in a fearful muddle - was suppoused to come here for 3.30pm while I collected DS from nursery (we're starting gradually and making sure he is used to her before she does pick ups next week). I left a note as I had discussed with her with a quickie list of jobs - ie find DS bottles and wash up please, take washing out of washing machine and put in tumble dryer.
I got a hpne clal at 3.40pm when we were just getting of the bus saying she was at home because she had gone to nursery and he wans't there. (she'd gone to the wrong nursery) She had also gone to our house but as there was no-one in she went home again.

Okay its first few days so this coudl just be a mixup? but we had discussed this yesterday and I said "i'll pick him up because he is at the nursery nr my workplace on wednesdays, can you come straight to our house and if I'm not in there will be a note"

Anyway, she attempting to feed him his tea right now - and he is screaming his head off, she doesn't actually seem to be that good with him at all! She can't understand him or make a guess at what he might want/need. So again despite me saying he likes a drink and snack when he gets in from nursery she didn't offer him anything to eat or drink until he came to find me and tugged me through to the kitchen.

I don't know if I am being fussy but I'm not feeling confident about her ability to take care of him.

I think if you don't feel comfortable, then regardless of whether this lady is good with your son, find someone else. Otherwise you will only worry.

Having said that, this is the first day, and I would raise your concerns today with her and see what she says. It sounds like the arrangements are quite complicated - which afternoons is she to pick up, which not. If you carry on with her (or with anyone else) I'd write it down clearly which days she's to pick up, where, what time, with the relevant address for nursery, so that you both have the same sheet to work from and both know exactly what's going on.

HTH

try to remember that she isn't his mother. She doesn't automatically know his routine, she won't understand half of what you do, and he is probably playing her up in the hope of gettibng you back in there.

as for the routine, start her on the routine you want her to do. Take her to the nursery she needs to pick him up from, and intoduce her to the staff. have her come to the house at the normal time she should, leave her a list of what you want her to do, and a list of what you want and expect her tyo do when she brings your ds home.

I wouldn't automatically assume she can't look after your son. Give her a week.

i'm sorry get rid - this will only get worse - ime.

If you feel you have to ask whether or not to take her on, then you obviously have major doubts.

Agree that things need putting in writing to avoid any kind of mix ups!

Give her till the end of the week and see how it goes. But don't take her on if you still have doubts then!

thanks for all your advice! I think we won't be taking her on. She is nice but doesn't quite fit - and right now she has picked up DS from nursery but I don't know where they are!
She picks him up at 3.30pm and its a 10 minute walk tops. Giving her until 4.15pm but have a suspicion she may have taken him to shops or nipped back to her home instead of bringing him home. Just rang nursery to check and he has been picked up at least!

sigh why do people apply for a job if they don't have the time for it? its only 5-6 hours a week but she's already said twice how hard she will find it to fit around her DD.

So what time DID she get back with your ds?

4.30pm!
she isn't staying in the job!

Now the whole reason I had advertised for a mothers help p/t was that I wanted to balance things out so that 2 days a week I get home early to pick DS up at 4pm, once a week DH does it and the other 2 days we would have a mothers help to pick him up so there wasn't any day he had to be there until 5pm.
I wanted him to have a good couple of hours at home before bath and bedtime, watching a DVD, having a snack, run in the garden when the weather got nicer, having some relaxing time in his own house etc. we talked through all this at length when she came to see us for an hours chat and also on her first 'trial' day on monday.

So, on friday she picked him up and decided that as it was cold and threatening snow she would take him to the park for half an hour(without hat or gloves as the nursery is only 5 mintues away he didn't have them on this morning)
I'm trying to be generous and assume she thought it was a good idea for his sake (WRONG) and NOT the fact that she needed to walk her dog - she told me she'd taken the chance to walk the dog when I asked later on.
So no gentle hour at home with a DVD as requested then?, oh and of course no snack or drink because she didn't take anything with her.
She then took DS to pick up her DD from a different nursery - not agreed with me, took the dog home then turned up at my house at 4.30pm, DS was very cold and overtired.

So in what world do you decide the very first time you pick up a child you are being paid to take care of as sole charge, that you won't take him home, that you will pick up your own child too, you wont' make any attempt to give him a snack or drink and most importantly you won't think of contacting the mum to let her know where the hell you are?!?

er, yeah, i think id look for someone else too, if i were you. hope you find someone soon

You've done the right thing. It sounds like she thought she was doing you a favour, rather than you paying her to do a job.

Amazed you even need to ask the quetion - get rid.