Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

Sob my 10mth old mindee is leaving to go to nursery!! Please read.

54 replies

childminderjanet · 17/03/2007 07:34

My 10mth old mindee who I have had since 5weeks old gave notice yesterday. I was really shocked as his mum had mentioned nursery a couple of months ago when I decided to change my working work from full time to part time. I thought I'd done a good job of puting her off, explaining how young children are much happier/develop better with one loved carer rather than being in an institution riding along on the baby jail conveyer belt (Have you guessed I hate nurserys) I said to her back then that if I couldn't have her baby then I would be able to recommend another childminder. I know she doesn't have a problem with the care I give her baby and she was very upset when she told me and said her husband wants the baby to go to nursery as it will be better for his development. I am an NNEB qualified nursery nurse with 20 yrs experience graded outstanding by Ofsted. I really love my job and work very hard to give the children I childmind the best care possible. Maybe this is just hitting me hard as its the first mindee to ever leave I've only been a registered childminder for a year and normally I would have a child from birth to school. I'm not sure what my next move is I can easily fill his place that's not a problem, but I just feel so bad in not doing anything and just letting him be sent to nursery.
What would you do? Take this on the chin or put up a bit more of a fight?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

danceswithaSPRINGinherstep · 17/03/2007 07:36

I see why it must be hard but he's not your child at the end of the day you are an employee of his parents and they are his parents. Sorry you're taking this so hard

Original poster

childminderjanet · 17/03/2007 07:37

Sorry working week.

OP posts:

Original poster

childminderjanet · 17/03/2007 07:40

But I feel the mother had been bullied into sending her baby to nursery by her husband.

OP posts:

pooka · 17/03/2007 07:40

Sorry but I think you have to take this on the chin. It's her baby, her choice - however anti-nurseries you may be (and I agree with you FWIW).

noonar · 17/03/2007 07:41

i think itslovely that your'e so attached to your mindee. shame his parents dont realise he wont give this love and affection at nursery.

noonar · 17/03/2007 07:43

ps the dh doesnt know what he's talking about. the baby is 10mo, not a pre schooler, fgs!

Original poster

childminderjanet · 17/03/2007 07:46

Well exactly Thanks noonar

OP posts:

madness · 17/03/2007 08:08

well, I'm putting my 8 mo in nursery after having had her with a childminder. I felt she wasn't getting enough attention.

quietmouse · 17/03/2007 09:15

sorry, just have to correct someone on here as this really gets me going!

Childminders are not employees of the parents. We are self employed and they are our clients.

I agree with you janet, nurseries are awful, awful places. I am NNEB and have been a nursery nurse for 11 years and I would never put a child of mine in a nursery.

Especially not a baby that is just so sad.

But, at the end of the day, you have to respect their decision. All you can do is tell them honestly what you think of that decision and them leave them to it.

It is desperately sad for that baby to be taken from his loved carer at 10 months old but there's not much more you can do, unfortunately.

madness · 17/03/2007 09:25

having a cm look after 9 c, approved by oftsed doesn't seem right to me, that's why i changed my cc

casmumof3 · 17/03/2007 09:25

How can you say that about nurseries have you seen every single one in the country.

I run a babyroom and we have very happy well adjusted babies that attend.

there is always going to be a discussion about childminders versus nursery but i feel that parents have a choice so let them make it.

ayla99 · 17/03/2007 09:26

I know how you feel. I looked after a little one who had been taken out of an unsatisfactory nursery to come to me. After a few months they moved on to another nursery. I was absolutely gutted. Especially when I read their ofsted report; they had 5 satisfactories and I have 2 outstandings/3 goods. At the time i didn't have many other mindies and they said they thought it would be better for child to be with 10 other children.

Well I don't have 10 at once, but I am full now so if she'd stayed she'd have made many friends here.

There's nothing you can do - its entirely the parents decision and one of the hardest things, i think, about this job.

quietmouse · 17/03/2007 09:31

madness - that is your particular childminder. Did you ask her how many children she had when you chose her?

9 is above her numbers so obviously she was breaking the rules. Did you not look at any other childminders?

Most childminders are only registered for 3 under 5's and I only have one mindee, so we are all different - you just have to do your research

Twiglett · 17/03/2007 09:31

as a parent I would always choose a childminder over a nursery

nurseries (at least the 8 I have visited) fill me with dread .. too many children, too many staff who are too underpaid and, in the main, untrained ... and it really depends whether they're doing it for love the quality of care

lilybubble · 17/03/2007 09:33

Hang on with knocking nurseries! What do you have against them? Maybe some nurseries are awful, but some are wonderful. Surely the same could be said of childminders?

My dd went to nursery from the age of 15 months until 3 1/2, leaving just 6 weeks ago as we moved house. She was extremely happy there, made many friends and gained many skills. I was more than happy with the care and attention she received, and her time there as a whole. The manager and her key worker were in tears, as was I, when I told them dd would be leaving. On her last day, the same 2 staff cried, as did I. It was wonderful, and I feel so lucky to have had such a wonderful start.

Now, I am only looking to find a new nursery, but they all seem to be full. It's only childminders with vacancies.........

quietmouse · 17/03/2007 09:35

I think nurseries are okay for slightly older, walking children as then the room systems change and obviously there is more going on. For babies they are just not good and the adult/child ratio is at times appalling.

I have been left in a baby room with very many babies, and have seen babies fed with propped up bottles etc and left to cry for far too long.

I agree that there are good and babies childminders though which is why you have to do your research.

quietmouse · 17/03/2007 09:36

sorry that should say good and bad childminders (not babies)

quietmouse · 17/03/2007 09:41

that still doesn't mean I would use a nursery for a slightly older, walking child though.

They still need love, attention and physical contact and that just can't be provided in a nursery. The quieter, more placid children tend to get completely overlooked ime.

Don't parents who use nurseries find it telling that many childminders used to work in nurseries and wouldn't use them for their own children?

runnyhabbit · 17/03/2007 09:46

Agree with lilybubble, not all nurseries are bad!

We looked into various day care options for ds, and felt the most happy with the nursery he now attends (and has done for over a year) I have a really good relationship with the nursery nurses, and ds loves it there. If we had any doubts at all about a nursery environment, I would not hesitate to look into other options. My ds is the most precious thing in the world, and would not hand him over to just anyone.

I have nothing against cm (a very good friend is one, and if she lived closer, would probably look after ds) but ultimatley it is the parents decision who looks after their children.

lilybubble · 17/03/2007 09:49

But quietmouse, presumably most nursery staff would send their own children to nursery rather than a CM?

Ultimately it's all just a matter of personal opinion. One is not definitively better than the other, we all have different wants, likes and so on, thank goodness.

I'm sorry you're so upset your mindee is leaving - it's nice to know that you feel so passionately about it.

quietmouse · 17/03/2007 09:55

I think that's why we all left nursery work when we had our own children!

Some may send their own children because then they can make sure they or their colleagues give their child lots of attention but tbh when I have worked in nurseries there were only a few staff there with their own children and no, their children were looked after elsewhere, either by cms or by family.

There was one nursery I worked in which was privately run from a house and the owner had her child there with her (but only when she was there - not that often) and he definately got preferential treatment (eg, allowed to eat at different times with the adults) and a lot more cuddles.

casmumof3 · 17/03/2007 09:55

your comments are awful there are so many parents that use nurseries.

At least nurseries are well regulated,

Nurseries are run from well checked premises with proper fire alarms and regular fire drills.

All of our staff are qualified above a level 2.

All people who come into contact with the children have a CRB certificate.we dont have freinds and family to visit.Lets face it you
could have anyone round.

All of our babies are loved and cuddled.

If we just left them to cry and never loved and cuddled them do you not think their parents wouldnt notice a change in their behaviour.If you had studied child psychology or had a basic knowledge of young babies and children quietmouse you would understand that they would be greatly affected by being in such an environment.

I am sorry but i thought that all child carers had respect for eachother but clearly you think you are better than everyone else.

Perhaps you should write a book on babycare.

franca70 · 17/03/2007 10:03

As a parent, I chose a nursery. Mainly because I come from a country where childminding doesn't exist, and the quality of nurseries is on average very good. Ds started school in January. Everytime we go to pick up his sister at his old nursery he is met by hugs and kisses. Actually, I've never seen him in distress in the 3 yrs he spent at nursery. Only now that he started school he is showing signs of not being a 100% happy.

BradfordMum · 17/03/2007 16:06

Oh dear, this type of 'debate' usually ends up offending someone!
I am a childminder, and have had parents move their child from nursery to me on more than one occasion. I also have a good friend who had her 1st baby 5 months ago. She runs a baby room at nursery, and has postponed going back to work until I have a place for her son. Why? because she says he will get better care with a CM, than in a baby room at nursery. (By the way, her sone would have been at a different branch of nursery, not in the same room as his mummy).

As has been said before - there are good nurseries and bad ones, same goes for childminders, however, In my opinion, bad nursery staff often slip thru Ofsteds net, whereas bad childminders are usually caught.

Sally

noonar · 17/03/2007 18:07

to say its all a matter of opinion, is not quite true, though, as there have been many studies comparing how 'well' children at nursery do compared with those at home/ with cm/ grandparents etc. nurseries dont fair as well.

my dd2 is 2.8. she goes to nursery two mornings per week. it helps me achieve a better work life balance, it does her no 'harm', but do i honestly believe its the best place for her emotionally well being? no, i'm afraid i dont, which is why i would never send her anything like full time.

i appreciate that some people have no choice , for a variety of reasons, but to send babies to a nursery. but imho, no baby room, however good, is really the best place for a baby.

Flip

1 2 3