Au-pairs, what do you do with them in the evenings ?

[Mojomummy]

We had a potential au-pair come & stay with us on Tues/Wed & flew back to spain today.

I'm mulling over whether I can handle someone else living in the house - having to telll them what to do - but more importantly, what happens in the evening ? would they expect to sit in the lounge with you? what about watching your own tv programmes ? I'm hoping she'll want to spend all her time in her room on the computer....but feel a bit mean for thinking this ?

So what is the normal thing for au-pairs to do ?

She's very nice BTW !

having been an au pair and nanny I think your description is fantastic! LOL

We're offering a TV/DVD + freeview, broadband wireless internet in the au pairs room. I'll also show them around clubs, theatre, pubs, cafe's, bowling, live music venues, cinema, swimming baths, gym, ice hockey arena (we're looking for a canadian) etc that are all open in the evenings and all accessible within a 30 minute walk of our house.

This is ideal! If you get a slightly older au pair or nanny they will be happy as anything! I worked in London myself when I was about 23 and was out a lot1 and stayed with distant boyfriend. I knew they needed time alone, and as a family and anyway I didnt want to be about if I didnt have to work! LOL It works best like that. Im sure at interview you will get an idea of what they are likely to be like.
Perhaps you should try and advertise in newspapers abroad? Just a suggestion as Im Irish and I answered ads in my local paper to get jobs in both London and florida!
worked for me! and of course I was English speaking!

Sorry forgot to put the quotes round it so this is the bit that goes in our letter/contract

"We would expect that you might eat with us 1 or 2 times a week and join in occasional family trips. However, as a host family we would normally expect to have some private time to ourselves, particularly in the evenings. During this time, our au pair might retire to his or her room to watch TV or study, or go out with friends from language school"

Then there's a whole section wheere I list the facilties that are open nearby and what things are in the AP room. We're paying for a years pass to our local cinema (only 30 mintues walk or 15 mintues by bus) its in my name but with no photoID that means the AP can use it too! it means one person can go to the cinema as many times as they want for £10 a month. So she is welcome to use it whenever she wants.

I think if you live in a vibrant place with loads of facilities its reasonable to expect an outgoing AP to want to make the most of them. I'd be a bit worried by any 18-223 yr old who prefered to spend their evenings sitting in with two tired adults instead of going to free (see above) cinema, cafe's/pubs with mates, late night shopping or swimming/sports.

fionaAP, which paper did you use? I'd love an Irish AP but dont' know how to advertise where they would see it?

I quite agree Sunny - I don't really like it if my aupairs hang around the house either. I just wouldn't write anything about it - rather just rely on their desire to be around other people their own age where there's no chance they'll be asked to pretend to be a giant (current favourite DD game).

It's always worked for me in the past- My last experience of aupair hunting on the internet was that I had to be sooooo careful and almost "over" friendly just to keep the responses coming!

Eventually found a lovely lovely Aussie girl

I also agree I wouldn?t write in down about having your own space it can sound off putting and very harsh. In reality most AP soon get a busy social life, even where I live we don?t have loads of bars and amenities nearby. IME most potential AP?s do some research before seeking a family or have guidelines provided by the agency about giving privacy and space to the family in the evenings or at appropriate times. I have only ever had this problem once with an AP and it didn?t workout (it was more than just wanting to sit with us every evening, as I could have addressed that issue) AP was older- in her 30?s and extremely demanding person and expected to go out our friends and be part of my social life rather than her own, she would help herself to bottles of wine, CD?s and my costmetics and haridryer and it was a battle trying to get her to do any housework. Needless to say she never read any information sent to her by me or did any research.

Hi,
you could advertise in the Irush Times, it is online too. thats the best paper in Ireland. I answered ads in it.

Let me know if you do!! LOL Good luck and hopefully a great caring Irish girl!

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