CM CLUB: hearning/behaviour problem or ignoring?

[StrawberrySnowflakes]

mindee1 who is 3 1/2 whom i have had a fare few probs with from start is still causing me concern.

when i ask her to do anything, she rarly does it..today i asked mindee and dd to stand on botom stair while i closed doors to rooms to go out..mindee ran up the stairs and jumping off(we DONT play on the stairs, she knows this), i said to her "no we dont play on the stairs, just stand there a minute while i lock up"..she climbs right back upstairs.
we get outside, i say to them, stay in garden while i bring bin in..mindee runs out after me and almost into road, i asked her what i has said to her and all i get is me dont know, but her spech and understanding are fine when she is playing and seems like she understands a whole lot more than she makes out.
after playing this afternoon, they had been in living room as well as playroom so i asked dd and mindee to bring all toys out of living room back into playroom..mindee stayed in playroom, i went in and said mindee would you please go into playroom and help dd bring the toys back in..mindee says ok(so does understand)..a minute later i went back in and she is still there..i asked again one more time before she actually left the room, each time she said ok as if she was going???????????/

i have checked how she can here previously by talking to her from behind her and she responds even in low voice??????

arghh..i feel like im on groundhog day

Difficult to say without knowing the child, she sounds a bit dreamy & cheeky behavioural wise?

Have you spoken to her Parents, is she like that at home?...Are they strict/leniant?

mum gets defensive if i mention her behaviour(which was v.bad at beginning), she has only been coming to me once or twice a week for last 5 weeks, (more often prior to that)so seems she picked new ideas up from somewhere, shes also into why..ok, put your shoes on then..WHY(not in questioning but way.
not really dreamy tho?
ive seen diff things from parents so dont know what happens at home?

With my ds I have to give him specific instructions, eg, could you pick up the jigsaw from the floor in the bedroom rather than can you tidy your room.

Could you maybe give the children a task while you're locking up the house, maybe jump on the spot while you count to 20?

As for the "why" questions.......

.....every child I've looked after does this as (I'm pretty sure) do all children. Often, it's just because they want to chat with you. I answer sometimes with silly answers and sometimes with the real answer. It does get a bit tiring after the 30th 'why' though!!!!!

hi mogs, yes the normal WHY questions have already been these are more of a 'no i dont see why i should' short sharp why, not inquisitive, nasty tone.
the things i asked her to do, like stand on bottom step were specific, not fun, but practical, but not taken notice of?, its this last week thats been the worst?

I've got one child with a hearing impairment, and one cheeky little dd. There is little point in doing the 'talking from behind' test as, if they have the same type of hearing loss as my ds, it is dependent on the background noise levels. Only real way to tell is to ask her parents to get an audiology test (which in my area takes 6 months). Ds also had speech delay and has a limited vocabularly as he doesn't pick up on speech unless it's directed at him. If you do suspect hearing impairment it is worth ensuring that mindee is looking directly at you when you give an instruction - I used to touch ds's shoulder and then use that hand to touch my lips so he would follow it and lip read.
However, it sounds more like she is 'pushing the boundaries' in my very limited and humble unqualified opinion

Strawbs , if you get to the bottom of it let me know!, I have a mindee who is 4 in may, had her since a baby, till, recently really well behaved, she was the youngest of my mindees for r3 years, a year ago took on a 14 month old boy, mindee 1's behaviour took a real dive, picked up again eventually, now have a12 month baby, again behaviour dived, like you ask her to do something, anything, that I am well aware that she can do, and just get ignored, ask her to eat her lunch just sits there, this is the child that ate every thing, thought it was because she didn't like not being the youngest, but it s more as you WHY SHOULD I, from her told her to go get her shoes from under the trampoline today and got a TUT as she walked out the door!!!!!

Then when the older ones came in absolute meltdown cos I said she had to let then have ago on the trampoline that she had been on all day.

Then remembered the 4 year old I had last year, OMG its the ready for school phase AGAIN

Shosha/strawbs, I have a 2.8 year old mindee who is going through the "ready for nursery" phase, and as I am about to take on a six month old I'm expecting the behaviour to plummet again! We also get lots of tuts, No's and I don't want to from said mindee too.

phew, parents finished early so mindee gone home.what a day..it was why do i have to, what for..arrgh..dp says to not et it bother me as its not an adult who fully understands their actions saying it, but i was so upset with mindee today cos we were doing everything and it seemed like all my hard work for last 6 months has gone, running into road, cheeky answering back all the time, but speech is still very baby like when talking to me, when playing shes a chatterbox!
i even asked mindee to come into living room tonight at 6.45(we settle dd down at this time, let her watch a cartoon, read a book then off to bed), mindee knows all this as has slept before and again, it was no..why do i have to.feel sooo weary today and dont like myself for getting so wound up

Millarkie, meant to say my friends ds has that too, he cant kind of concentrate or hear well when they is other noises around, his is more to do with congestion and ear/nose blockages tho?