CM Club: Sneaky childminder pretended to be 'friend'

[nally]

So, how's about this then. About 2 weeks ago, the women at my ds's pre-school told me that the mother of a new starter needed a childminder and gave me her details. They told her I would call. So I called. She was busy and said she would call back. She didn't. OK, well this sort of thing happens so wasn't too surprised or upset. When I saw her at pre-school she apologised for not calling and said she would call again... you can see where I am going with this! Anyway, I left a couple of messages with members of her family and she didn't get back to me, so I thought I would leave it (don't want to seem desperate - although I am!)

Meanwhile a childminder I know (who everyone else seems to dislike for then unknown reasons to me), sent me a lengthy email (it took me more than 5 minutes to read it, it just went on and on and on...) warning me that the mother of the child in question was unreliable, awkward, not to be trusted, that she asked too many questions, was not interested in paperwork, did not want to pay for bank holidays etc etc... she said the boy had a 'frightening' illness... and put that in no uncertain terms should i take this work on as it would only cause me trouble! she also phoned me for half an hour warning me off AND sent me a text message. Anyway I thought I had had a lucky escape, as you can imagine.

I saw the mum today at pre-school and asked her if she had sorted out her childcare arrangements. She said yes and was very polite and said she had gone with this other childminder - the one who had told me not to take the family on! Apparently the other childminder had told this woman that she is more involved in getting her mindees together with other kids and takes them on regular outings, whereas I, on the other hand, don't because i have a new dd and am new to childminding!

I am annoyed that this other chidminder pretended to be doing me a favour, but was obviously just poaching, and also am annoyed that she said those things about me! We take part in at least 3 activities outside of the house every week, plus do lots of stuff at home and meet with other childminders and their mindees. Am I new to childminding? Compared to her, yes (she has grown up kids and I think she had been childminding for about 15 years) I have been childminding for 3 years and have looked after 8 kids aged between 1 and 10 (not all at the same time) without difficulties, have always had good relationships with the mums.....

Hmmph!

Opinions?

i would be very tempted to print out the email and pass it onto the mother, perhaps she would like to know what her childminder is saying about her behind her back, plus i would want to know if someone was being underhand to gain my custom,

was tempted to do that, but don't want to stoop to her level

I second Katzg's suggestion - what a horrible thing to do!

Now I understand why the other childminders don't like her. I thought it was just because she likes to know exactly what is going on with everyone (eg how many mindees people have vs how many they are registered for..)

I would want to know if somebody who was looking after my children had said smething like this. Definately show the mother the email. Its not stooping to her level but mearly levelling the playing field.

And next time don't listen to the other cm.

nally, you are better than me.. I would be tempted to say something to the mum too.

I suppose then she wouldn't go with either of you. I would definitely tell the mum in conversation how great this or that outing was, etc etc.

Can't believe someone would stoop so low.

Actually I think you should tell the mother. Its not about sinking to her level - she said some horrible things about this mother and if I was her i would definately want to know.

i would be tempted to show letter too and make a pont of saying youre not doing this to poach her but jus tto make her realise what this childminder is capable of!!! shes probably slagging the mother off now to all and sundry ..thats awful and gives childminders a bad name

I'm with the majority here, I would print off the email and show it to the mother, and the text if you still have it

maybe i will... hmm

Nally, I think you really really should! (print off email and show) I am not a childminder but am a mother who has a fab cm and to be honest I would really really want to know if someone had said these things about me for business!! (it shows that she is a vindictive, nasty person and imo, not one that should have little children in her care if shes this sort - as you know, a cm should be a caring, kind person)

I think it would be a decent thing for you to do for the mother and the child..

I'd let the mum know what sort of childminder she has chosen, a sneaky one.

Sally xx

your not stooping, i would definatly print of the email to her, say it is not sour grapes, but you thought she ought to know

I must admit I'm amazed that this childminder would put all of that unpleasant stuff into an email. Doesn't she realise that you have proof now of her mad ramblings and could go and show this to the parent in question...as well as to other childminders in your area?...which I have to say I'd be tempted to do.
I think she sounds not only a very unpleasant character but a rather disturbed one too (what's all that about saying the mother's child has a frightening illness?? That's outrageous!) and I would not, as BarbielovesKen pointed out, want her looking after my children.
Do you know anyone at your local SureStart office that you could share this with? I know you don't want to cause a scene and you certainly don't want her making any more trouble for you but I think my local SureStart team would want to know if a childminder in the area was acting like this. I think this is pretty creepy!

hmm, yes you should at least sahre it with childcare plus..even ofsted/ncma..bad bad practice as far as im concerned

The mother had told me about the boy's condition, but doesn't seem frightening to me. Apparently he has febrile (sp?) convulsions sometimes. We have epilepsy in our family so I am confident I could deal with it if it happened whilst he was with me. I will look into this childcare plus thing. I have never heard of it tbh. Is there a wesbite?

I would print off the email. If I was the mother I would want to know, and I wouldn't want my children going to a woman like that.

I think print it off and send it to ofsted........ho hum.........as a parent who uses a cm I would want to know tbh. My cm stayed absolutely silent when my health visitor told her that I was pregnant (another story in itself) untell I told her myself - that is the type of professional I want looking after my dds rather than a money grabbing one..........

she is surly breaking rules by telling you the the son has 'frighting illness' is she not I would report to Ofsted if she can be like that I would dread to think what she says about the children in her care to people it's people like this that give us a bad name.

I never recommend anyone (even though I'm close friends with 3 childminders local) as I don't want to make a parent feel thats he best place it is for a parent to decide. I've been reg 3 years too and working towards my NVQ 3 and childminder whom have been working 10+years have no Q's but who am I to say whos best

grrrrr I hate people like this and yes I would also print the letter off, if I used a childminder I would want to know

I'm not a CM but I definately think you should print off the email and give it to the parent. She's completely cockoo!!