What to do about new au pair and Easter

[MrsFogi]

I'd be interested in views on this one. We found an au pair who was due to start with us a week after Easter and then finish at the end of August. She has subsequently messed us around about dates and insisted on arriving a week before Easter (she will still start on the originally agreed date but will be staying with us for a couple of weeks before she starts i.e. now working and doing as she pleases), possibly irrelevant but she has also subsequently announced she will only be staying for July, not August. So my query is - we are due to go to my mother's for Easter weekend and my mother does not have the space for the au pair to stay so we would either need to bring her and do a day return (both disappointing for my mother but will also be stressful for my mother who does not cope well with non-family visitors for meals i.e. she gets v stressed over the cooking and also does not relax and feels obliged to put on her "visitors" face and voice) or leave her alone for the weekend (I'm not keen on this given she'll only have been here for a week) or go on a day return and leave her alone for Easter Sunday (not very welcoming but also this was a reason we didn't look for someone to start before Easter). I'd be interested in what seasoned ap families would consider "the right thing" to do here.

Are you in London? If so it sounds like she is using you.
Nothing she is doing is suiting your requirements. Does this bode well for the future?

So, I would find someone else who wants to work when you want them to work. Not a few weeks earlier and finishing earlier. That is not how a job works is it?

You will be trusting her with your dc so why not your home?

She doesn't get to dictate when she arrives and when she leaves, those are things the employer sets as it has to be convenient for them. I'd end things with this au pair and recruit another. A short placement will likely appeal to lots of people.

I don't know why you're keeping her actually. Do you need an AP for the summer holidays? If so, you should say to the AP that as you originally specified you need someone for August and if she's not able to do that, you'll have to look for someone else.

If you're going to keep her, I'd just apologise and say that you arranged this before you knew she was coming. Then leave her for the weekend. She'll probably like it!

Who covers her food costs if she arrives a few weeks early but is not officially working for you?

If she is giving you the run around now, image how she will behave once she starts.

You need to be firm and set expectations from the beginning that she does not get to dictate start and end dates.

Find another au pair if you can!