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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

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Original poster

Housekeeper for free?

59 replies

feelingsickaboutit · 27/03/2017 16:55

I have nc to post this ...
This has been playing on my mind for the last couple of weeks and I just can't stop thinking about it ...
one of my 'friends' has a live in help who looks after their daughter, cooks for them, cleans etc. She is foreign and her English is very very limited. She's lived with them for a few years and is in no way related. This friend has recently revealed that she doesn't pay her and was actually boasting to other friends how fantastic this set up is and why pay an au pair or a nanny when you can have a more mature woman with experience without paying a penny. When I challenged her about it she said that food and room is enough payment and she found her another job she does a few hours a week which she gets payment for so they don't need to pay her. She should be really greatful for this job as her English is so poor she wouldn't get that job on her own. She also said if she's not happy she can leave any time and because she's agreed to this set up herself it's perfectly ok and legal. It just made me feel physically sick. AIBU to feel upset about this or is she using her? Is it really ok not to pay somebody for such work?

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Original poster

feelingsickaboutit · 28/03/2017 07:41

I couldn't sleep all night. I will be reporting it to the authorities today but I am unsure anything will be done. The woman trully thinks she's got a great set up ... free food and roof over her head and this other job elsewhere (the other job is legal and she pays tax and NI so that's how she'll be entitled to the right to reside and will eventually qualify for pesion). I am in no doubt my 'friend' is exploiting her lack of English and age and she also thinks this is a great set up for both sides. I think this is where the true problem is ... in ignorance ...

OP posts:

murdershewrote · 28/03/2017 07:47

Of course something will be done! This is modern day slavery, it will be investigated. You also don't know what goes on behind closed doors and if she is being mistreated in anyway, they clearly don't value her whatsoever..

Trifleorbust · 28/03/2017 08:08

You have to work 35 years and pay full NI to qualify for a state pension, don't you? How many hours is she doing??

[shudder]

PencilsInSpace · 28/03/2017 08:14

How many hours is she working in the paid job and how much is she getting paid? To qualify as a 'worker' for right to reside, the work must be 'genuine and effective'. Usually this test is met by earning at least £155/week.

I'd be wary of reporting without her permission. That sounds awful and what your stbx-friend is doing is illegal and exploitative. However, if she is not found to meet the definition of 'modern slavery' she could then find herself in trouble with the home office and get a 'prepare to leave' letter.

If at all possible, it would be better for her to seek advice for herself. Rights of Women are very good. Or you could call them yourself before reporting, just to check what is likely to happen.

PencilsInSpace · 28/03/2017 08:22

Sadly there is no guarantee something will be done if you report.

2014newme · 28/03/2017 14:12

She can say she lives as a member of the family, is very happy with the set up and nothing will be done

Nicotina · 28/03/2017 14:36

Pls update after you have reported this slavery.
The poor woman may be able to access English lessons which might open her eyes. I know you don't want to put the country she is from but are there any groups online or locally that might give advice in her own language.
I'm sure the CAB would be able to help via a translator that they could organise.
Your ex-friend is an exploitative bitch.

AntiHop · 28/03/2017 15:46

If you're working part time below a certain threshold then you don't pay national insurance. So it sounds may not be accruing national insurance which is very concerning for her future.
www.taxguideforstudents.org.uk/working/employed/what-national-insurance-do-i-pay-as-an-employee#what

PencilsInSpace · 28/03/2017 19:37

It's too late to worry about NI contributions if she's 'live-in gran' age, she'll never get enough for state pension. This isn't the end of the world, loads of people don't have enough, they claim pension credits and survive.

If she can get her earnings up to £155/week she will be eligible for housing benefit and tax credits (or universal credit). It wouldn't take much for her to be independent.

I know lots of people on the thread are adamant that this should be reported as slavery but I'm not so sure. Technically it is, and your nasty friend is breaking all sorts of laws. If she'd been paying her, this woman could probably have applied for permanent residence by now, so that's shitty in itself.

What would people's attitudes be though if this woman was actually nasty friend's mother and an actual 'live-in gran'? Would anybody bat an eyelid at the arrangement, given they are both happy with it? Would this woman really thank you if you 'rescued' her and she was helped to return 'home'?

She is definitely vulnerable and being exploited. Doing what's best for her might mean taking a softer approach and not jumping straight to the most drastic option.

If it were me, I'd string nasty friend along just long enough to properly befriend this woman and persuade her to get advice for herself.

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