Feel so let down by the parents this weekend :-(

[madge7]

Hi Everyone,

I dont know if you remember but 5 weeks ago i took one 2 children as thier mum had had an accident. I was thrilled to have them and as it was described as temporary (maybe 2 months) i just decided to go with for the experience really as I have only been registered 6 months and have a part time little girl only since then.

She said that she is surrounded by family and wanted the kids to have as much as normal routine as they do with her as they are normally at home with her. This included dropping one off at nursery then other days around her sisters, nanny to collect another, and to freinds and swim tutors etc. All sorted and all done according to the weekly itineiry i get given for them.

She asked if I charged a retainer and to be honest i was a bit flummoxed by this and its only reading on this website that I actually know what i could have charged really, but hey I am getting a good enough income from it as it is and figured that "hey, its only temporary and a learning curve anyway"...... I dont charge for the petrol and food and even gave a reduction for the second child, which i realised too after being on here too recently that that only applies if they are BOTH full time etc......

Anyway have got a few niggles there, luckily the kids are great, i really enjoy having them.

My Mum is really poorly and we live 60 miles away from my mum and dad. she was placed in a high dependency ward on Friday night. My dad called me and we shot up here to be with him as he was very upset and to be honest we didnt really realise the seriousness of it, plus dad knew I was full up with kids on Friday and kind of shielded all the info till early evening about it......

Anyway, I left a message for the parents explaining the situation on Saturday morning advising that I might stay up here a few days, I would confirm more of the situation changes but just to let them know.

Come 6pm last night I had not heard ANYTHING from them....I was in the hospital so i texted, "Hi, blah blah can you just tell me if you got my message this morning..." and the message back.....

"Yes. Have made alternative arrangements till wednesday"

Not sorry to hear about your mum, hope your ok or anything..........

Sometimes she calls me in the day and has a conversation and I have all the children running around but I listen to her woes etc, I dont know if I am being over sensitive maybe but I bloody well have bent over back wards for her family. am so annoyed/upset about it - you know its not all about her is it?????

Madge xxxxxx

Oh you poor thing, unfortunaltly some parents are lick this the more you do the less they appreciate you. I'm lucky i have some fantastic parents at the mo.

Hope tour Mum is a bit better this morning, and stay till you feel your Dad can cope your parents need you, and you need to be with them, at times like this. Thinking of you.

Alas, it does tend to be all about them in my experience. However, the mother does not really know you very well, you have only been caring for her children for a short period of time. Text messages, like e-mails, often lack emotion... yes they could have put something like "Yes, sorry to hear about your mum. Have made alternative arrangements till wednesday" but not everyone thinks about phrasing things like that.

You are concerned for your family, and thus you may be overly sensitive at the moment. Spend the next few days with your mum, try to forget about work. Your family come first.

I genuinely think that some parents don't consider that we actually have feelings.

Once you get back to work, and DON'T rush for this family, stay slightly reserved. I know we are professionals, but I also know that sometimes we do go that extra mile, which is great when it's appreciated, but if you feel you're being taken for granted, just step back a bit. I know it's hard where children are concerned, but sometimes it just has to be done.

I hope yor Mum improves soon. Love to you and your family.

Sally xx

Hi there i think some parents think we are at there beck and call but we don't acually have any othr life except looking after there family . Don't let it worry you. Hope your mum is getting better.

Agree with nannynick, it could be more about her style of text messaging than any lack of concern. Lots of people keep texts very brief and factual. I think the fact you are so frazzled may be making you read more into this than is intended.

Sorry to hear about your mum, btw.

Hope your mum will be better soon! I agree that it's usually most about them, and also that emotions are very hard to express via text - though she could have said hope your mum is ok soon.

Hope all is well soon, hang in there

I also think that the longer you are involved with a family, the more they will get to know you, your family and your circumstances and, therefore, the more likely it is that they will be (hopefully) more sympathetic to any problems you have.

We tend to exchange information about each other's families. They have a moan, I have a moan - a mutual moaning club!

I think it is hard not to take it personally, but the mum would probably be mortified if she realised.

As everyone else has said, be there for your mum and your family. Hope she is getting better.

Thanks for your support yesterday everyone, really appreciate it. I got another arsy text from the mum yesterday but she did end up sending wishes but then telling me how much her own medication has been increased me me me me me. Anyway whatever, feel a bit happier today, mum still very poorly but moved out of high dependency which is an almighty relief.

Thanks again

XXX

Spoke too soon, she is back in high dependancy again...:-( and tomorrow I am going home as promised parents I would be back by Wednesday.

Oh well, roll on friday and I can come back to my parents place again and the hospital, and atleast my little rabble of kids will maybe take my mind off it all eh.....

XXXX

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