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Grandparent childcare taking kids money help!

16 replies

ElleyBear13 · 08/03/2017 08:59

Hello I was wondering if I could have some advice or insight on what to do. Currently money is and always has been tight - I work four days a week and a close family member (grandparent) prior to birth offered to look after dd for one day a week for six hours. They said from the start they didn't want any money just time spent with dd - they are very good and dd adores said family member. However family member has been helping themselves to the odd £10/20 from dd piggy bank and last week helped themselves to a £50 giftcard that we've had since last August (birthday money going to buy a new summer coat) every time this has happened we've been promised they were just borrowing it but the money's never been replaced. I'm not sure how to handle this situation as it's started to be a regular occurrence and just looking for advice. Thank you x

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
MsJolly · 08/03/2017 09:01

Have a conversation that it must stop-stealing from a baby is pretty low.

Hide all your cash:piggy banks etc

Wishiwasmoiradingle2017 · 08/03/2017 09:07

Wow. Just wow. . Making alternative child care arrangements would be my only option. .

HecateAntaia · 08/03/2017 09:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PoisonousSmurf · 08/03/2017 09:24

Start paying her £20 for the day. And hide all money in the house! A childminder would cost you at least £30 for the day. So it would still be cheaper.

milkytash · 08/03/2017 09:32

don't pay them anything! i would be ringing the police

JustSpeakSense · 08/03/2017 10:30

Definitely lock away all money, piggy banks, gift cards, and valuables.

Start looking into alternative childcare.

This is theft, and although you could report it, as they are a family member doing you a favour I'm sure you won't want to do that.

Obviously this arrangement can't continue though.

7Coffees · 08/03/2017 10:32

Seriously??

JoJoSM2 · 08/03/2017 14:00

Stealing from own grandchildren??? I'd have a conversation. Ask them for the money back.

jannier · 08/03/2017 14:36

I would wonder if they are in serious financial problems even if they appear to have money they may have run up a debt or been conned and too embarrassed to say anything. Id have the conversation about paying something for care (and hide the money) if they wont take it maybe get more serious - could memory problems be an issue?

Bluntness100 · 08/03/2017 14:40

Put all money etc away when they come so there is nothing to steal. However I agree with the others, stealing from your own grandkid, Jesus.thats just awful,

EsmeeMerlin · 08/03/2017 14:42

That is disgusting. To steal is one thing but from your granddaughter, wow

I would be stopping them looking after your dd and tell them you expect to see the money returned.

xStefx · 08/03/2017 14:45

Move the piggy bank , I understand why you don't want to upset your grandparent but seriously why have you left it there with them when you know they are taking from it.

MyschoolMyrules · 09/03/2017 14:16

Just give them money. They are probably spending the money on your child anyway. I can't believe you are giving them nothing.

wizzywig · 13/03/2017 19:57

Oh dear thats awful! Thats not on.

Blondeshavemorefun · 14/03/2017 07:30

Your parent or inlaws? Either way you both need to talk to them

Stealing is wrong and even worse off fsmily /gc

Maybe they do have financial worries but no need to take off you /your dc

Be blunt and say you can't use them as can't trust them and pay for childcare

Zebrasinpyjamas · 14/03/2017 07:36

If you specifically asked for the gift card back with a deadline what would they do? Eg 'I saw you took/borrowed the gift card, I'm planning on using it next weekend can you bring me the cash next [Tuesday] when you look after dc'. A direct but non confrontation way perhaps?
You can ignore it but I suspect your frustration levels will grow each time and ultimately damage your relationship long term over 'minor' amounts. (Not minor to you though). Its the breach of trust that's the real issue imo.

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