Nanny down time

[7654novice]

Hi. Our nanny works a couple of days for us. She is great in so many ways!!! So amazing with kids and generally pleasant and professional. We try not to micromanage her as we feel she's capable and we trust her with the kids.
One issue though - baby has started taking much longer naps in the morning time in the last couple of months and nanny does not seem willing to use any of this 1.5-2 hours to do Anthony round the house. To be fair, we did originally say that we want her to be a Childminder and not a housekeeper but baby slept less then and we didn't think she'd have much time to spare.
I have broached it with her, gently to start, but several tines more recently as direct but pleasant requests. She seems really put out and I feel hostility creeping in as a result.
To add, older 2 (school going) get a half hour TV in the afternoon and she also has a sit down then while baby has a second nap. We do not ask for any cooking and she doesn't feed kids apart from baby's lunch which is pre made by me. She works an 8 hour day.
Am I asking too much to expect her to use some of this 1.5-2 hours productively presuming she's had time for a decent break?

I thought that nannies only did chores directly related to the children. Too many people think nannies are housekeepers.
Why not get a slave in whilst you're at it?

You having to 'try to find things' really does smack of just wanting her to busy for the sake of it. It's not a nice attitude. As for dusting & cleaning windows...it's no wonder she's not impressed.

Re you coming home to the house less tidy/clean, it depends what the hour before you get home involves for her really. Lunch dishes etc - unacceptable, children's toys/homework snack stuff, not really surprising if she's helping with homework, sorting them out, dealing with the baby's witching hour or whatever.

OK, plenty of reasonable advice coming here.

She is absolutely entitled to a break. I just personally think that 2 hours plus a half an hour sit down later in the day is excessive in an 8 hour day.

Yes, the swings and roundabout comment makes sense. That's why any additions to her job would be temporary, while baby's routine stayed as is. I would figure out getting her a break if baby started sleeping less. (even if it meant me popping home at lunch time.) In school holidays there's always a half hour of TV and I myself coordinate this to happen at nap time so I can switch off. Basically, I can't ever see a time where she'd have less than that.

Wow, some people really do get a lot out of their nannies!
My fear about adding responsibilities (cooking for children, doing their laundry) is that it would actually increase her overall workload.... My idea I suppose was to find smaller tasks could be done in the nap time frame.

We don't want to pile the pressure on. We are reasonable people. But the 2 hour sit down she's getting is driving me nuts! I sat down for a sum total of 7 minutes yesterday, one of my days at home.

I accept all the comments about the types of tasks. (Wish I'd tried here before asking her to do anything). She doesn't like cooking so I can't see a request for batch cooking being met well. The general tidiness of the house hasn't improved much despite some requests to keep things a little nicer. I'm not sure where to go but I think I'll have a sit down with her and explain, again, that we expect her to use some of that nap time and give her some (more appropriate) choices of tasks to fill some time.
It's correct that we didn't expect any housework to begin with but things change, baby routines change and there is scope in her contract to make changes.

I agree that you should sit down and have a chat with her and explain that you're sorry you asked her to clean windows. Say you are happy for her to take the first hour of baby's nap as down time and then discuss with her what sort of things she'd be happy doing after that.

You could have a list of jobs on the board that she can choose from? Things like thoroughly clean high chair, rotate toys, tidy kids' bookshelves.

I'm definitely not fabricating work just to reduce her break - I'm just not used to thinking in terms of 'tasks related to kids' and 'tasks related to parents'. I cook for the whole family, I clean up after the the whole family and I do laundry for the entire family. I'll try and adjust my thinking on this though.

She could still do quite a bit of "nursery duties" and get a decent break in two hours. For example, she puts the washing in the machine, then sits down, she doesn't have to stand there watching it.

I don't get the "she doesn't like cooking" comment - feeding the children is an integral part of being a nanny, ok she may not be a gourmet chef but she should have a basic repertoire of child friendly, healthy, quick and easy meals. She could do a bolognese, then while it's simmering, take her break.

To be honest I think your nanny sounds like she's quite good with kids but not that great as a nanny if she can't or won't do jobs relating to minding them like preparing their food and tidying up after them or keeping their clothes in rotation. My nanny is pretty damn special and I wouldn't expect what she does from a nanny but I would expect a nanny to do nanny juries. I think you need to talk to her about appropriate responsibilities and expectations for her job and if she doesn't improve, decide whether you can accept that the kids are safe and minded as enough.

I think a 2 hour paid break in the middle of the day is excessive. She can easily have a 45 minute beak and then use the rest of the time (and the TV time) to do other stuff.

My expectation with our nannies (who have all done 2 days a week) is that they do standard nursery duties i.e.:
leaving the house in the same state of cleanliness/tidiness as they found it.
Our contract stated exactly what I meant by this so things like wiping the kitchen surfaces after use, sweeping under the table after dinner if dirty, emptying dishwasher, emptying bin if full, wiping spills in the fridge etc.

children's washing, changing their sheets, keeping their rooms tidy.
Tidying the playroom and vacuuming it once a week.

If you allow for a 45 min break each day, she has around 3 hours a week to get other stuff done, so the above shouldn't be difficult to fit it.

To be honest I think your nanny sounds like she's quite good with kids but not that great as a nanny if she can't or won't do jobs relating to minding them like preparing their food and tidying up after them or keeping their clothes in rotation

Tbf the nanny took the job on on just needing to look after the kids and empty the dishwasher- she's entitled to get a bit pissed off now you're envious of her down time.

** and want to change her agreed working conditions.

Damn right I'm jealous!
And yes, she is miffed about being asked to do more. At the beginning, when naps were more like 1 hour I didn't expect much beyond childcare and that's what we outlined. That nap was her break.
Things have changed now and I'd hoped she would show a little iniative and use some of that time.

I do think she's miffed at the type of job you are asking her to do.

Doing the children's laundry takes minutes, sort, throw in machine, add soap and press start, hang out or throw in dryer. I do all of that with my charge, I have video of him at 9 months putting clothes in the washer!! I iron when he's asleep, one week I have to iron his cotton bedding, the following week I fold his synthetic fireman Sam duvet cover. I iron maybe 4 tops and 2 pairs of trousers (I do iron my bedding at work but that is definitely during my 'break' time. And yes my boss knows about this!) so it takes 15-20 minutes. (I do also wash and iron all their tea towels!!) That is Monday and Thursdays break, Tuesday I batch cook for the freezer, so I'll do a cheese sauce add pasta to some of it, cauli and brocolli to some more and gnocchi to the rest. Add various proteins to various batches, chicken, ham, bacon, fish, takes maybe an hour (although I'm a messy cook so tidying up takes a while!) I also prepare enough for my employers to add something too. Tomorrow it's hoisin duck, charges favourite is duck donburi so they get the leftovers. (But that's going in the slow cooker first thing and will take 10 minutes. I'll do sticky rice a stir fry vey for my charge at lunch and they will use it how they please! Then while he naps I will sit on the sofa with crap tv and do menu plan and Ocado shop!)

Callaird - I'm intrigued by this batch cooking and protein adding, can you spell it out a bit more. Thanks!

You sound resentful. I would let her have the break, you will end up losing her if you push this. You want her to be busy just for the sake of it. If you were home all day with your child and they slept for an hour would you immediately start finding things to do ? Just because she's being paid doesn't mean it's any less tiring.

Legally she's entitled to a 20 minute break for every six hours worked (rules for domestic workers).

I agree with milk if she stays come the holidays she will be run off her feet with 3 kids.

2 hours though? And another half an hour later on?
I do have down time but if I can manage it but never 2 hours.
You're right, I might lose her if I push it. Maybe (and I'm not sure yet) it's a risk I'm prepared to take.

BTW you need a break too.don't be a martyr.

I alwayssit down as soon as my babies go to bed. The nanny mostly doesn't - although I tell her to!

But she also cleans the whole house including the random bits, does all the washing, cooks for us all, and leaves thr place spotless.

Dh prefers it when I'm at work

We used to have a nanny two days a week when my son was little and she was allowed down time if course but her job description also included child orientated tasks such as children's washing and ironing, preparing all children's meals and cleaning their rooms and keeping playroom tidy. In reality their rooms were always tidied by us but she used to do the rest and still have down time. Washing and meal prep she did whilst he was awake anyway. She did 8.00-6.00 and also picked up my daughter from school.

Meant to add this decreased as he got older and napped less which was fine, it was about being flexible from both sides!

I was a nanny for 20 and managed a couple of nanny agencies. As others have said, asking her to clean windows and dust probably got her back up.

And it used to annoy the shit out of me when employers would ask me to empty the dishwasher. Your evening meal, you empty it.

I would never dream of having the house untidy when you came home though. But how are you leaving it in the mornings? Are you expecting her to tidy your mess up or is it all tidy?

I never had more than a half hour break in a 12 hour day to be honest. Two hours is a bit much.

No, as I said I leave the house really clean and tidy for her arriving. And the later nap and kiddy TV time tends to be just before we get home so I feel she could make more effort to have it cleaner.
I don't really buy the summer holiday argument. Maybe 6 out of 52 weeks she works this year will the kids be off school. Although I know this tine will be busier.

I really don't think you are being unreasonable to expect her to do nursery duties - most nannies would expect to do them as normal. And while a break is nice, it doesn't always happen in a sole charge nanny job (just like it doesn't for a sahm), nannies know that.

I started the job I'm in now five years ago, I had two school age children and a "high needs" baby (translation - hardly any naps and couldn't be put down). As well as looking after the children, I did the children's laundry, changed bedding, tidied bedrooms, kept the kitchen and playroom much cleaner and tidier than it was when I walked in in the morning, cooked an evening meal every evening and cleared up afterwards. It was bloody hard work but that's the reality of working as a nanny, fast forward a year or so and the baby was in a much better routine and I started to get a proper break (not in school holidays though). Now all three are at full time school and I have loads of time to myself, however I use my initiative and do jobs that I can see need doing around the house that the parents don't have time to do, as well as cooking food for the weekends.

Your nanny may be brilliant with the children but she's not really working as a nanny, more like a babysitter whose only responsibility is to look after the children.

Only 6 weeks holiday? So no half terms, Easter, Christmas holidays?

Hi dame. So 6 of her working weeks will coincide with kids holidays because she was off at Christmas and will have 3 weeks holidays in the summer.