Our New Nanny Just Quit

[5amisnotmorning]

Just looking for opinions on what we can do differently?
Our current nanny is going on mat leave for a year, I arranged our new nanny to start yesterday with a 2 day handover woth our old nanny. My husband also worked at home yesterday as he does normally on a Wednesday.
Our new nanny has text me this morning to say that the job isn't for her and she was made to feel unwelcome yesterday. I wasn't there but it was a difficult day - my first day back at work, first day back at school for the 5 year old and the 2 year old was very clingy to DH but settled after about 30 minutes.

It might not have been a morning of sitting chatting with me about routines etc but was I unreasonable to expect her to just get on and learn from the nanny there? I don't have capacity at the moment to have a day off work. I also need to make sure this doesn't happen again though and need to find a new nanny to start next Wednesday...

It really doesn't sound like there is any obvious reason for her to go after such a short time. I would also go with the "had another job offer" theory, but bad that she didn't give you more notice if that was the case.

My DD spent the entirety of our nanny's first interview sulking in the buggy because she wanted to go to the park (which is unlike her, but she isn't good with strangers so I guess it was a combination). I would expect most nannies to give it a bit longer than a day before deciding it wasn't going to work under the circumstances you describe.

Better luck next time!

I think it's bloody unprofessional and rude of her to be honest. She could at least have given you some time to find someone else. What does she expect, children and busy people's lives are rushed and unpredictable, you have nothing to feel bad about op.

You never know if she had another job offer and perhaps used that as an excuse

I just feel bad like we are a horrible family or something!
We got her through nannyjob and she is very experienced with glowing references from her families.
Going through an agency now though.

Tbh if she really did quit due an insufficient welcome on the basis of what you've outlined you're better off without her.

I think it's a situation where you will never know the real reason behind her quitting. But you saying your husband isn't amazing with new people is a red flag for me. But either way look at is a learning curve. Good luck with your finding a new nanny

If your husband was there and you weren't then she felt unwelcomed by your husband. In her shoes I would do the same and not continue with the post. Gut instinct is usually right. And to work in someone's house you have to be comfortable with the scenario. To all those saying she was unprofessional well the family also need to make their nanny feel welcome. Two way street.

I agree, it does sound like there are issues with the way your dh dealt with things that morning.

If she's that particular about the DH then you are better off without her.

I've had a nanny agree to start and use us as a fall back for another position abroad that she was hoping to get. I only found out by total chance (friend of a friend) that she had taken the job with us 4 weeks in advance to her start date then the day she was supposed to start with us took another job in France.

It's probably nothing you did OP.

How was hubby at interview?

Maybe you can text or call new Nanny and ask her to clarify what she meant by not welcoming

DH was himself at the interview so same as he would have been. I know him and know that his nature isn't very chatty but he would have been welcoming. This priority on a Wednesday is being able to work. He pops out for lunch and a play with the little one if he is around and then goes back and works. He will have a chat with the nanny if she is around and ask about what is going on. He isn't a warm and fuzzy people person but if that made her uncomfortable then it probably wouldn't have worked anyway. I don't really want to contact the nanny - I feel a bit hurt whether rightly or wrongly and would rather just leave it and deal with first day differently next time.

I think you've probably had a lucky escape, I would just move on with life.

I can see this from both sides.

It sounds as though it was an unfortunately chaotic day for her first day with a lot of adults dropping in and out and unsettled children, - the children may have been more upset than usual with a stranger instead of you for your first day after Christmas, DH who is not "amazing with people" popping in and out and leaving hysterical kids behind, and then your existing nanny - rather than showing new nanny how she deals with this sort of situation - leaves new nanny with the hyper children to "bond" while she folds the laundry upstairs in peace and quiet.

It may have, from her perspective, felt rather unwelcoming and caused her to re-evaluate whether this sort of chaos was a normal day and whether she could cope.

She may have quite fixed views as to what works for her.

I bet a perm job came through but-

I am a little curious about what your nanny said to her about how much time she was taking off though. I would definitely check the message is consistent. My money is on it's possibly something your current nanny said- however inadvertently.