Nanny with own child, would you hire?

[Annie105]

Hi all I registered my baby son with a local nursery but their next available start date is 8 weeks after my return to work! So now I am looking for an alternative solution. The other local nursery isn't ideal and I got a bad feel for it when I was there.

I've put a few ads up recently for a nanny share and out of all the contacts I've had one has really stood out. She is a married woman a few years younger than me but a highly experienced nanny. She has a young daughter who is 3.5 months younger than my son.

In a nutshell we have spoken and emailed a lot and she sounds great but my husband is concerned she won't prioritise our sons needs as she will have her own baby with her.. Although if he was at nursery this would happen too if a key work had 2/3 charges to look after?

Has anyone any experience of a nanny bringing her own baby to work? Am I crazy go consider this? Financially she is looking for 12 per hour gross (London) which is still quite a lot but I guess her experience is relative. We haven't gone as far as discussing buggies and sharing costs for that sort of thing etc as we have agreed to get to know each others parenting goals as well as the employee/employer side over a coffee first this weekend.

She does sound great, she would literally be like gold dust were it not for the fact she has her own baby. She admitted not many employers unless looking for after school care are overly keen. My son will
Be an only child (IVF miracle) and I think maybe it would be quite nice for him to develop alongside a child of a very similar age??

Any thoughts or advice welcome as we are all new to this and it's hard too to think of the pros and cons clearly as any sort of childcare feels wrong but I have to go back to work When he is 9 months. (Nannys baby would be 5.5 months and she is still hoping to be breastfeeding at this stage)

Thanks in advance for input ladies

So you need 8w care until nursery space is free?

Try it. If it doesn't work out then carry on with nursery

Say to the nanny you want to give it a trial of 6w and 2w notice either side

I would lower the pay as Nwoc usually get less ph as 1) they have their own child with them so yours won't get 100% 2) she doesn't have to pay any childcare costs

It can work out well. It can as others said not work

Only time will tell

Hi all thought I'd update this as it may be useful for people in a similiar scenario! So I still haven't managed to resolve my childcare situation. The nursery have managed to bring the date 2 weeks earlier but I read an article over Xmas which said nursery for babies is not idea so now I'm panicking that a just nursery environment will be detrimental to him!! Any input or experienced of this helpful again ladies. The nursery is a 25 minute walk there and back each morning and evening so does put a bit of pressure on me. There is 1 key worker to 2 baby apparently and they have 12 babies between 4 months and 2 years in the room.

Anyway the nanny with own baby went very quiet. We met and I thought really got on, her baby was a little dream (you can imagine how well into a routine they are already with her experience) but when I said I'd like to offer her a trial period of several mornings and full days to suit which I would pay her for to give us both the option to give it a good go and make decisions together in order to make it work as well as possible but she didn't reply! I've given her two weeks now as I know what it's like with a baby time can just slip away but I'm gutted she didn't respond. Feel slightly like I've been dumped!

I've looked at the nearest two childminders but didn't get a good vibe off them plus the pick ups and drops offs meant my son would always be on the hoof and I didn't like the thought of that.

So I am back to interviewing Nannys although the cost means I'll be back to work for very little money whilst we employ one!
I'm glad I started looking early as I've got a little bit of time to get sorted but I am worried now!

Not sure how old your child is but both mine were in nursery from 9 months and don't seem too traumatised by it! As long as you are comfortable with the baby room and get a good vibe I wouldn't be worried.

I wouldn't go with a nanny with their own child. I did last time I went back to work. It was a complete disaster. She was an experienced nanny. She had looked after twins from 8mo until they started school but she struggled to look after my child and her child. They were very close in age but like I say it was a disaster.
I ended the arrangement after 3 weeks. It was a complete pain because I had just started back at work and I was seriously worried about my son's safely.

It turns out that whenever my DH or cleaner got to the house my child would be covered in vomit (he was never a vomiting child) and when it was suggested she might like to clean him up she just looked blank. Plus there was always a lot of crying and no response from her.

After the first week my child would start screaming as soon as she entered our property - it was truly awful.

By the time my mum told me I really had to get rid of her I was I na right state. Anyway. It was made easier because she managed to get my child badly sun burnt in early April. I have no idea how she managed it but I suspect she left him outside with no shade when he used to take his monumental nap of 2-3 hours. Bless him. His face has never been the same since and he is now at school! Serious sun damage incurred at 10mo and it is still noticeable in reception...? I will never forgive her.

To this day I don't understand how she managed to get such glowing references. How can a person change so much?!

Anyway. Good luck with your decision. We have used a mix of nannies, mature au pairs and Montessori nurseries and forest nurseries since. It's always a compromise. Whatever you do tho just follow your gut instinct. And if you don't have childcare in place then your employer will have to give you some extra time off. It's not the end of the world to wait a few extra weeks.

It's only the ages that bother me!!

I'm a nanny with own child and charge much less then she is charging! My ds is 5! And my charge is 18 months. It works great at this age but younger is too much hard work

Your child won't get the benefit of a playmate for years as they don't socialise till then. There are only negatives for your child. All the loving nature that makes them a good nanny means that they will naturally favour their child and prioritise their needs. Your child will be getting less than half the attention of a regular nanny. Unless you are paying half the price, I wouldn't do it.

I would have no hesitation at nwoc. Looking after two babies..... Ummm those of us with twins or more have to do that with our own anyway. I was not a nanny but know lots as friends who work as nwoc and all of them are fab and have excellent bonds with charges and I think the more kids in the mix the better.

I nannied with own child and no way did I favour my own child.
Having worked in nurseries thing it's much nicer for baby to be in their own home with their own things .

Hi everyone just a further update so NWOC called me to apologise for lack of contact and explained she had a family crisis to deal with that meant she returned to her home town immediately after we met to look after a family members baby.

She said she had given everything some very detailed thought and has decided to not yet return to nannying as she began to realise she would find it hard to fairly split the care of her own baby and that of one several months older. She said she came to the conclusion whilst looking after her cousins baby (her aunt became very ill and her cousin , whose husband works on oil rigs so has slot of time away, hence the trip home) She said she wanted to be very honest with me about that as a professional nanny with her experience (she has looked after twins x 2) she was adamant she could juggle her job looking after a baby and her baby but realised until they are a little older it would be too hard. She said that she would be very keen if we were in a position together in the future if I was looking and she was available meet again.

So there you have it!! I won't go down the NWOC route again right now. I think perhaps it works better with slightly older children if that's the case, or would seem to be perhaps.

Thanks for the feedback on nursery some have given. I've registered at the best local nursery we can afford but in still worried it's a bit hectic for an 8/9 month old. I'm
Interviewing some nannies this week. It means I'll be going back to work for not
Much money than in paying a nanny if I do go down that route but is it best for a baby of 8/9 months to have more focused one on one care?? Any thoughts??

I went to see two childminders who came recommended but the amount of school pick ups and drop offs and much older children was a big turn off for me.

Don't know if anyone raised this, but I thought ofsted said for childminders they can only have one under 12 months, unless it was twins. I haven't been a childminder since 2007 so haven't kept up with rules so I don't know if this has changed. Is there any kind of rule of nannies? I had my a 10 month old start as soon as my oldest turned 12 months. I didn't have any others to look after and they napped around the same times, it worked great.

Annie , have you thought about a nanny share. This would work out cheaper.

We used a CM for our 10mo. She looked after him only during the day but had her own son (8uo) and another child before / after school. He loved it. So did we. He went on the school run. He learnt his colours from playing cars with her son. He learnt to play football too.

So I wouldn't dismiss all CMs out of hand. Just need to find one with fewer kids!
Good luck.

I wouldn't. Have you not been around your local CMs? A much better option.

I wouldn't do it.

Even though £12 per hour gross is good value for London (£10 - 12p/h net is going rate for live out).

Sorry, just read your later posts. Ignore my comment

Are you going to be working FT?

If not, personally I would be happy with a nursery option. DS is an only child & I feel his time at nursery was v helpful to his social development, sharing, etc. He wouldn't have got that from a nanny.

At DS's nursery, the workers in the baby room were my favourite of all the nursery, many were old, generally calm almost granny-like, they seemed to love the babies in their care.

Having said that, I only worked 2 days pw until he was 3, then rising to 3 days, so we had a lovely balance of 121 time and nursery time.