Nanny with own child, would you hire?

[Annie105]

Hi all I registered my baby son with a local nursery but their next available start date is 8 weeks after my return to work! So now I am looking for an alternative solution. The other local nursery isn't ideal and I got a bad feel for it when I was there.

I've put a few ads up recently for a nanny share and out of all the contacts I've had one has really stood out. She is a married woman a few years younger than me but a highly experienced nanny. She has a young daughter who is 3.5 months younger than my son.

In a nutshell we have spoken and emailed a lot and she sounds great but my husband is concerned she won't prioritise our sons needs as she will have her own baby with her.. Although if he was at nursery this would happen too if a key work had 2/3 charges to look after?

Has anyone any experience of a nanny bringing her own baby to work? Am I crazy go consider this? Financially she is looking for 12 per hour gross (London) which is still quite a lot but I guess her experience is relative. We haven't gone as far as discussing buggies and sharing costs for that sort of thing etc as we have agreed to get to know each others parenting goals as well as the employee/employer side over a coffee first this weekend.

She does sound great, she would literally be like gold dust were it not for the fact she has her own baby. She admitted not many employers unless looking for after school care are overly keen. My son will
Be an only child (IVF miracle) and I think maybe it would be quite nice for him to develop alongside a child of a very similar age??

Any thoughts or advice welcome as we are all new to this and it's hard too to think of the pros and cons clearly as any sort of childcare feels wrong but I have to go back to work When he is 9 months. (Nannys baby would be 5.5 months and she is still hoping to be breastfeeding at this stage)

Thanks in advance for input ladies

I think this could be a really fantastic thing. I'm a childminder and I look after a little girl who is now 2, but I have looked after most of her life. I can honestly say that I love her like my own.
You can always have a trial period and see if it works out, what is the harm in trying?
Also, to the PP who said that your child will always be hearing 'that's my mummy, not yours' I think that's bollocks. 1) that would be a very unkind thing to say that nanny would obviously nip in the bud and 2) if the children grow up together then I can't see why the nanny's own child would suddenly become jealous enough to motivate saying something like that?
Also, as there are only two of them, I struggle to believe that an experienced nanny won't be able to deal with them if she is breastfeeding at the same time, first time mum or not and I say this with vast experience.

You need to get something out of it - I would suggest a 25% drop in salary from whatever is the going rate. Also contract to say that ability to bring child is reviewable every six months - then see how it goes.

It also didn't work for us, but I had three children by then and an extra small one was just too much work.

However, it may work, but you need to be getting something out of it too. I'd also offer a reduction in salary as your child will not have 100% of the attention of your nanny - around £10/hr gross?

You also need to address the food issue, which won't be a big issue now, but will be if it works in the future. Maybe one week you provide food and the following week the nanny does..or the nanny brings all her own child's food.

I would also second the 6 month review; whilst the set up may work at the moment, in 6/12 months time it may not. You may decide that you want your child to swim or go to a class where 1-1 supervision is required, they may end p with very different sleep patterns that keep your child in the house when otherwise they'd be out somewhere.

The other thing I would put in the contract is that your nanny is responsible for breakages caused by their child.

If you decide it isn't for you, at £12/hour gross you can get your own nanny.

I would.
£12 gross is a reduction already for experienced nanny in London. Most are asking £12-14 net now (£15+ gross). So that's already a saving

You can always hire her on a 6 month review bases so she understands it needs to continue to work.

All thanks for all the really useful experiences and comments so far.

Interestingly more heavily weighted towards don't do this ( scanning through just on the stats 11 pretty much say no, 7 say yes and 4 offering good advice such as meet and trial runs)

I think I need to consider a lot more than I anticipated so I've listed out all your pros and cons to discuss with her.

Thanks again keep the discussion going if anyone else has any more thoughts it's so helpful, cheers MN'ers!!

I had a nanny with her own child for over a year and there was a two month difference between mine and her child. Started at 6 months to nearly 2 years old. It didn't work for us as there were many differences between the two. Her child ate different food, was more difficult to put down for naps, was pushing and hitting mine and generally quite bad behaviour which I think came from wanting attention as knew they were sharing their mummy. My child couldn't go to playdates as they had to leave from her child hitting others.
Along with this we were not free to do the activities we wanted such as swimming, music classes as she didn't want to pay for her own or couldn't manage with two at the same time.
We let her go eventually and hired a nanny who can focus her complete attention on our child, respond to her needs and schedule. Our child is absolutely thriving now.
The salary difference between them wasn't worth the complications and stress. We paid around 8.20 net for with child and 10.50 net without.

I wouldn't consider it with that age difference. My highly experienced nanny brings her ten year old boy along during the holidays at no reduction in fee. He plays beautifully with my younger children - they love him- but he also is old enough to play with his iPad etc when they are doing something he doesn't enjoy.

Worked really well for us - children learned to share, Nanny was far more reliable than a younger one with an active social life and we are all still great friends years later. I much prefer a home environment to a nursery environment for younger children though.

Yes I would :)

I did this as a nanny and, for me and the family, it worked well. My DS was 3mths younger than my nanny charge but they slotted in to the same routine and enjoyed the same activities. It's not for everyone and I think you need to make sure you're on the same page in regards to routines, food, discipline, behaviour etc.

My boss was extremely laid back and lovely to work for. She always insisted I treated both children the same, as you would siblings, rather than putting her DC first. She had a travel cot so I used that for DS and I provided a double buggy that fit in my car. She always provided food for DS. If I took the kids to toddler groups, I'd pay for one group and she paid for the other. I paid for DS to do a music class and she paid for her DC. She was a GP and would occasionally get delayed with a patient. Knowing I didn't have to rush off to pick up my child from a CM, meant she didn't have to stress about being late.

Pay wise, I fully expected to take a pay cut as it was saving me at least £5 an hour in Childcare myself. However, she offered me the top amount that she'd put in the ad due to my experience. It's always worth negotiating with the nanny so it's beneficial to you as well as her.

my mother took me to work with her i had a great time playing with children around my age.The woman she worked for had 3 children one of them autistic my mother did a fine job.But they were older children but still mothers are good at multi tasking.2 children seems fine to me,my mother paid for me

What I meant by my children fitting in , is that my children would have swimming dancing etc not on work days . But they would have to watch the minded child swim every week .

As for food I used to take some yoghurts with me or some snacks. Doesn't cost much more to feed another child .
I think it depends on the nanny and child to be honest, and would give it a try. I was a far better nanny after I became a mother.

I've had 3 nannies and there two that were already Mums were definitely the better ones, better at feedback at what they did during the day and they were more realistic about what taking care of a child is, taking the child out to activities and doing things that were more fun for them. It kinds of depends on what you expect a nanny to do, for example cleaning would be more of a challenge if you have two babies about, but I'm not too bothered about a nanny doing cleaning I'd rather them to be taken to baby groups and doing a bit of socializing.

I wouldn't be forking out for a second buggy and I would offer £10 per hour instead.

As a nanny employer I would only go for NWOC If there were little alternative. Doubly so with young babies. There are a lot of down sides and precious little upside.

I took my 7 month old baby, back to my nannying job, after maternity leave. I had 4 charges and my baby. It worked perfectly, my little boy just mucked in with everyone else. I think I am a much better nanny since having children

I am a nwoc. I was offered the job as the family thought it would be beneficial for their only child to have a playmate, the children are a similar age. It has worked very well for all of us. The children love seeing each other and my child is very loving and kind to my charge. My child was breastfed, if they both needed feeding at the same time I would lie them on a pillow on my knee and feed my child while holding my charge and bottle with the other arm.

Don't do it.

Her responsibilities (charges) will never be equal in her eyes.

She is too expensive considering she won't be focused 1:1, your basically paying for her child's childcare too.

If her child is sick she will be more likely just to bring them along anyway , exposing your child to it.

My friend has a nanny who brings her own child. It's worked out well - I think one advantage is that the nanny will find it harder to get another job (as demonstrated by this thread) which will make her very loyal. My friend's nanny has been with them for 6 years now.

When I went back when my son was 10 months old I used a childminder who had a child 4 months older. Tbh it was one of the things that "clinched" it for me. The toys were of the right age and stage for them both, they very quickly had the same routine. I used her for 2 years (until he went to nursery) and never had a moments regret. He was happy and settled I actually think I should have kept him there longer.

I never post only read, but I had to respond to this. I had just the concerns that you do, but hired my wonderful nanny who brought her little boy with her. She is amazing, everyone who sees her with them comments on how lovely she is with my little one. My point is, if you get a good feeling about her then don't let the fact that she wants to bring her chicks put you off. She's been a life changer for us!

I did this when my ds was 10 months (Nanny's child was 3 months older) and it was brilliant. A friend for him as he grew older and she was brilliant with both! I paid less than normal nanny rates though to compensate but sounds like she is still looking for full pay?

We did this and it worked really well, we started at about 9 or 10 months until 3 when DS went to nursery.

She was experienced and managed the children well, they were close in age so did the same activities, and it saved us money: she didn't ask for the full rate as she was providing childcare for herself, as well.

We talked about lots of things: like if she was off because her child was ill.

We talked about expectations in lots of circumstances and then got on with it.

That salary looks like a FT sole charge salary to me. Agree with a previous poster who suggest a cut of about 25% if nanny brings her own child, though you have to pay minimum wage.

DS was also an IVF baby and we had a nanny share for the first year - with NCT parents. This was great for the kids and also saved on childcare costs for us. DS and his friend had the most amazing strong bond for years afterwards.

I'm a nanny with own child. She's now a year and my charge is a month younger. I still breastfeed, one or two feeds a day at the moment at work. 8.30am-7pm with a half hour commute each way. My charge comes first for everything while at work eg his meals served first, his naps seen too while my daughter waits, my daughter is woken from naps, put in buggy last, at groups I concentrate on my charge while just making sure my daughter is safe. It's really difficult as I feel like my daughter is missing out what I don't want my employer thinking I'm prioritising my daughter. I find it easy looking after both and keep things organised. I'd really consider it.

I'm a nwoc, I started my job when my son was 5 months old after the family I worked for previously for 7 years decided they didn't want me to take him with me (all fine it was their choice) my new boss was very clear that she wanted the children treated equally and didn't expect her child to take priority and that helps because just like with siblings sometimes my son needs seen to first other times her daughter does and I don't feel guilty if my charge has to wait 5mins whilst I change my son's nappy because I know my boss is great. It's great for both children as they have learnt to be patient and have a friend to play with. I love my charge and there certainly isn't any issues with her being upset that my son has his mummy there because they are both loved and treated the same and if I ever heard my son say anything along the lines of "that's my mummy not yours" he would be told off, it works both ways though as he might have his mummy but he isn't in his house or playing with his toys they belong to someone else who could easily say "That's mine".

I am about to go on maternity leave with my second child and fully expected to have to give up working but my boss is adiment she wants me to return with both my children as she knows my charge won't be treated any differently, the routine may need to be altered and it means all children sharing my time but that's not a bad thing if handled right.

I keep a travel cot, highchair, nappies and wipes at work so I'm not having to drag things backwards and forwards each day which makes life easier.

I do agree that she is charging too much though, I used to earn £12 per hour and now earn £8 (net I can't remember the gross amount off the top of my head) and I'm in kent just outside london