Childminders Club - Problems with parents about payment

[hidingname]

Sorry changed my name incase parent is a MNer.

I have some fantastic kids I mind, who have fantastic parents. We get on super, while the kids act out a bit they are generally great kids, I love having them.

But the parents have started quibbling over payment. The amount they pay me is like a 'salary' - it's a bit above my hourly rate, which was initially sold to me as covering food, activities, and flexibility. But last year we had a minor dispute when I charged parents for extra hours, I'd looked after the children for an extra whole day. The parents claimed this wasn't fair, as not only do they pay me a premium, but the children had been sick for days and days during recent holidays which technically I'd had 'off' as they hadn't been attending. I didn't want the dispute to continue - I like the parents and the kids, and I can't afford to lose three kids. I tried putting my foot down and saying that childrens illness was paid, as was extra time (as per contract) but then the parents said maybe the contract would have to be changed, and they'd only pay me when the children were here (eg no extra - which I don't mind - but they wouldn't pay for their sickness) I briefly discussed with partner and we agreed that the loss of income from when the children are sick (between three kids a lot of the time!) would be too great.

Children are all away on holiday now, and the parents have told me that they'll be dropping payment for the holiday week off - half rate (as per agreement? They asked) I phoned last night to say actually agreement is full rate for child holiday but had to leave a message as they were out. Now I DID offer to take half rate for this one holiday (complicated but I'm a softy) but Ive said in message I will not take half for any holiday etc rest of the year. I can't afford to, and as I've said not in our agreement.

Parents havnen't rung back.

What should I do? I'm worried there will be a confrontation tonight about this - I HATE confrontation. I don't know what I should do if the parent says they want the contract changed - refuse? I can't make special allowance for one set of children, every other child Ive minded Ive set out the payments etc from the start, I can't suddenly have one that doesnt pay for certain things.

What do other childminders do in your area?
explain if they do the same as u which seems more than reasonable that u are doing the NORM and so they wont find it cheaper anywhere else.
I would stick to your guns on this hun!
Parents try it all ways to get a better deal! If u give in they will just keep trying it on!

Are all the details of payment written down in the contract?

If not, you should re-negotiate terms and get it in writing with their signatures and yours so that this dispute doesn't happen in future.

I'm really sorry for you - I hate this sort of thing too.

If the parents have signed a piece of paper agreeing to the terms which they are now unwilling to honour, perhaps you should show it to them, and expect them to honour it. But give them a chance to re-negotiate as they are clearly not happy and therefore the deal will crumble sooner or later if you don't. Also, problems like this will recur if the agreement is not clear on both sides. That doesn't necessarily mean cave in to all their demands, but listen to their concerns and be clear about what you are willing and unwilling to accept.

The important thing is GET IT IN WRITING.

Is there an association of childminders in your area? You need to know whether the parents can easily get more advantageous terms in your area from another childminder.

Message withdrawn

i`d stick to my guns and thankfully my parents are brill and would never do anything like this ,in fact more the opposite,ie ..last month i undercharged them when writing out my invoice for feb fees and they called me up to notify me of error and said they would correct it themselves and pay me correct amount..like i said stick to your guns othewise they re going to keep trying it on..keep explaining the contract and say to them would you do this if their children were in a nursery? no..... of course they wouldnt ..i would just keep saying these are the rules of contract and you are a professional and would expect to be treated

like one...would they treat their colleagues or boss like this...people like this annoy me..you are available for work and shouldnt lose out money because the children arent there, you cant replace children at such short notice to get extra money ... this is the problem about being self employed and we have to learn to be tough..i had one parent who messed me around about not turning up on time..were talking late here!! and when i said you would have to pay for any over time she would keep forgetting it. and when i brought up the subject that this was not on as it was too late for her child to still be up as my children were going to bed and it wasn t fair on her dd [she was only 18 mths old!] so a month later she gave me notice and put her in to a nursery which had shorter hours! and was always late there and treated the staff the same way as she treated me i was glad to get rid of her although i adored her dd and missed her but sometimes you have to sacrifice for your sanity!!! sorry its been a long rant but like i said people like this annoy me when they take advantage of nice people!!!!aaarrrrgggh!!!

errrr you are running a buisness here its not for them to tell you they are dropping your pay? they do not emply you,you are running a buisness!!
how damm rude!!!

would they tell a nursery "im not paying you" when it was agreed they would? or would they go into sainsbury with a trolley full of shopping and declare "im not paying you"????
you are providing a service which they HAVE agreed to pay for.
stick to your guns!!!!

What an awful situation. I would suggest, that because they've already tried to stretch what you've agreed to before, that you do not reduce or waive the charges stated in your contract any more for this parent.

You are not an employee. They are your customers not your employer. They do not pay you a salary. They pay your professional fees that you have negotiated together. Negotiation is a two-way thing. What you describe sounds more like bullying/blackmail - you're afraid to lose this family so you're agreeing to everything they suggest.

In situations like this I was advised to picture the worst that could happen (ie, they could leave) and think about dealing with that eventuality (ie, begin advertising campaign ... p/t job/temping? ... get a nicer family(ies)to work with). Once you accept that you CAN cope/its not the end of the world if they do leave it helps you to be more positive/confident. This will come across in your conversations with parent.

And even if you did bend over backwards to agree to everything they suggest they could leave anyway for any number reasons. I know - its happened to me. I dropped my fee by ££££££££ to hang on to a lovely, well-adjusted, good natured child with fabulous parents and they decided to move on to a nursery closer to home.

Be firm. Be confident. Stick to your contract - don't ever change it unless YOU are happy to do so.

have you spoken to parents today then?