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Separation anxiety at the childminders- HELP!

6 replies

DetentionGrrrl · 05/02/2007 16:58

I've just picked up DS (7 1/2 mths) from his 2nd settling in session at childminders, and he was distraught and had cried for the whole 2hrs.

Last time he was very happy and had played etc. but since then he's realised when DP and i leave a room.

What can i do to help him? He refused to nap while there (so will probably be a swine later from being over tired) and childminder tried playing / cuddling / taking him for a walk.

He's pretty advanced for his age, and he's already trying to walk, so i don't think a blankie or something similar would help.

Help someone?

OP posts:

tinkertinker · 05/02/2007 17:36

One idea is that you could leave something with him of yours, not sure if this would work for a 7.5month old, e.g. a key. So that it indicates that you have to come back for him to be able to go home and get in the front door.

Have you stayed with him for a while and whilst there gone to the toilet for a while so that he realises that it isnt so bad without you ?? [humm]


DetentionGrrrl · 05/02/2007 19:44

I might try leaving a muslin- someone suggested that in the parenting thread. I don't know if he'll take to it though

How long does this 'phase' usually last?

OP posts:

funnypeculiar · 05/02/2007 19:51

oh, lord, this brings back memories . You are on early days still, there's every chance he'll settle in a week or two (which is 'normal' at that age, as I understand it)

DD took AGES to settle with cm ... literally a couple of months. She was 6.5 mths when she started, and it was absolute separation anxiety - the minute I got to her she would turn round in my arms and BEAM at the c/m having yelled the house down for hours and hours...

Two things 'cracked it' for us in the end:

  1. C/m came and did some sessions at OUR house (she had no other mindees on that slot, so it was easy for her) - I would potter in & out of room, so she got used to c/m being around in 'her' territory.

2. I left dd with another c/m ( a good friend) for an hour... she was fine with her, and we theorised that she just got the idea (somehow!) that other people could be nice!!

I think both of the two together also stopped her automaticaly associated going to the c/m with me leaving her,iykwim

Katymac · 05/02/2007 19:52

Try a jumper of yours (that yours have worn & not washed)


mykidzrmyworld · 05/02/2007 20:01

how about making a little photo album so your ds can look through it with the CM. Have known this help in the past.
Having a top with your smell can be a great help too. Maybe take familar toys with him too so everything isnt so new to him


dmo · 05/02/2007 20:24

ive got a screamer at the mo aged 9 mths
when we have done (parent and i) is to meet up every day and parent has stayed for a brew (baby comes monday and friday) and i bobbed to babys house on sunday for an hour

this week we have had a breakthrought she is not crying as much but still attached to my hip but thats fine mum coming tomo for a brew also asked mum to meet me at a toddler group i go to

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