Would you expect nanny to play with 6 year old

[Believeitornot]

I've noticed that our nanny doesn't play with our 6 year old son. He likes Lego and outdoor play etc. His younger sister is more "girly", and enjoys drawing and puzzles etc.

Our nanny tends to sit and do drawing with dd but ds has told me a few times that no one plays Lego with him (he means our nanny). She also doesn't play football or anything like that. In fact interaction seems to be just keeping an eye on him.

I'm starting to get a bit disheartened but before I have a chat with her, I want to check if I'm being unreasonable. Should I expect him to have some direct attention? I appreciate that it can be tiring making up lego police scenarios but it only has to be for ten minutes at a time (speaking from personal experience). I worry that he feels lonely and left out.

If relevant, she also has her own DC which she brings so not sure if that means she can't give as much attention. But either way I want ds to be happier and he doesn't seem to have bonded much with her even though she's been with us for 3 years. As he's got older she has less interaction - maybe because it is not her usual age experience?

I would definitely expect her to engage in playing with a six year old - that's her job!
As a nanny I would try to make time to give each child a bit of individual attention and also play games and do activities that involve all three of the children too.

It could be that your child has got used to playing independently and the nanny has fallen into the habit of just letting him get on with that, especially if she's busy with other stuff, but whilst some independent play is good, she also needs to chat with him, show an interest in what he's doing, find something they can enjoy doing together.

FWIW I love playing Lego - I look after a four year old Lego addict and we make some really great models together!

Yes, I'd expect some play or at least attention with a 6 year old. Board games, Lego and ball play are all things that are easy to join in with.

Thanks both! I lost my reply - I had said I'd be talking to our nanny about this.

You are definitely right! I am a nanny and the children I look after love playing on their own but I often sit on the floor with them and play a game or just join in with what they are doing. I guess she probably has just got used to the fact he likes playing on his own and maybe he hasn't asked her to play with him. But I would always ask the child can I play with you and they nearly always say yes!

How old is DD & how 'demanding' is she? It's so easy to morph into entertaining the small demanding one whilst the older one plays 'happily' (ie quietly) by themselves. I think I'd just say that DS is feeling a bit lonely & left out & that if she could make sure that DD doesn't grab all the attention that would be great, see how it goes.

She's 4 and not demanding at all really. She will happily draw or play babies etc without asking for much attention beyond the odd story. In that way she's easier to play with whereas ds likes you to use your imagination more. He does ask us to play and I think he might have given up with the nanny as I do remember he used to ask her on occasion when I was around.

Definitely, whatever the age I'd expect a nanny to be interacting with the kids.
They are doing what essentially would be your job as a parent if you hadn't got the nanny.
This is why I could never pay anyone to do my job, they just couldn't do it to my standard or meet the childs needs.

Nanny should def interact with all children she looks after

Bit sad she doesn't with elder ds :(

Yes it's possible he is independent so nanny assumes he is happy

Maybe suggest to her she says do him do you want to do a puzzle /Lego /kick a ball with me etc