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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

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Original poster

Advice need from Childminders

24 replies

Hulan · 02/02/2007 11:05

Hi there. My DS is just on 14 months and has been going to a CM for about three months now. He loves her and the other kids there and she is quite crazy about him too. BUT.... she has a creepy looking husband, who yesterday when I went to collect DS was looking after the kids in nothing but his nightgown and it didn't look like he had much on underneath. CM had gone to collect one of the other kids from somewhere. DS was in the playpen with toys and was promptly taken out when I went into the room. Is this weird are is this me being paranoid?

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saltire · 02/02/2007 11:06

Well unless her DH is registered as her assistant he shouldn't have been left with any mindees in the first place!

sar123 · 02/02/2007 11:08

seriously weird! totally out of order IMHO and i would say something to the CM about what you think is and isn't appropriate.

Original poster

Hulan · 02/02/2007 11:10

I also think it's weird especially because the man just looks strange to begin with. I'm not descriminating or anything like that, but something about him gives me the willies. I think that I will have to check with her, because it really doesn't feel right to me

OP posts:

crace · 02/02/2007 11:22

Yep, something isn't right there. For one, unless he is registered as an assistant he shouldn't be in charge of them when she isn't there.

Plus, nightgown?? Not very professional - in the same way I am dressed and ready when my mindees come.

Go with your gut on this one.

saltire · 02/02/2007 11:26

Sorry i didn't finish my reply, the phone rang!
It is weird that he was dressed inapprpriately for looking after the mindees - which as i said above he shouldn't have been doing anyway!
As crace said, go with your gut instince. I would mention it to CM as well.

mawbroon · 02/02/2007 12:04

Agree with Saltire that unless he is also registered then he should not have been left with any minded children at all. My registration certificate says "Minded children cannot be cared for by persons other than those named on the certificate". That to me means that I must be there at all times and if I have to nip out to the shop/school/take a mindee home unexpectedly/whatever then all the mindees have to come with me whether my DH is home or not.

What time of day was this btw? Any obvious reason why he would have been in his dressing gown? Eg does he work shifts and might have just got out of bed while his wife nipped out? I agree with you that it is a bit strange and I would be asking your childminder a few questions.

mawbroon · 02/02/2007 12:06

Forot to add - did the playpen bit bother you? Did your ds seem quite happy or are you worried that he is spending a lot of time in there?

auntymandy · 02/02/2007 12:06

nightgown?

StrawberrySnowflakes · 02/02/2007 13:32

well three things would worry me: him being in night time attire :cm leaving children with him: Lo being in playpen.

my dp finished early few weeks back(crb checked) i only had dd and mindee two(my friends daughter) and dp came down from bath with shorts(normal out door shorts) but no top..i marched him back up the stairs and said he was indecent..even though it was friends dd and nothing she wouldnt see at home or anywhere else in the summer, i didnt think it was appropriate to be not fully clothed with mindees around

smeeinit · 02/02/2007 14:34

errr that is seriously weird?!!!

the main thing that worries me is that why the hell is your cm leaving kids in the care of a half naked husband when she "pops out"? wtf is that about?

your cm should NEVER leave the mindees with anyone who is not registered as her assistant or have previously cleared it as ok with parents.........ive been to docs before leaving mindees with my sister who is a cm BUT only after making sure its ok with all parents.
i personally do not like playpens atall,i prefer for children not to be caged!

if i were you i would have a serious think about the level of correct care your cm is giving your lo.
i hope it gets sorted out for you.

Original poster

Hulan · 02/02/2007 15:14

Thank you for all of your advice ladies. I will definitely be having a word with her tonight. I am concerned very much about this man's attire and about whether or not he is registered. And definitely about the fact that lo was in the playpen. He is the youngest there and has just started walking so I'm wondering if he was only in there because the husband was watching them or if he gets put in there frequently during the day, in which case I'm gonna scream, because the thought alone makes me want to cry

OP posts:

smeeinit · 02/02/2007 16:15

jeeeeeezuz! your son is walking and theyve caged him in a playpen?! wtf?

i would go absolutly ape shit if that was my son.

StrawberrySnowflakes · 02/02/2007 16:55

i know im worrying for you here, but what if that guy had just got out of bath/bed and your lo had been in playpen while cm was out meaning no one watching him never mind half naked odd ball??..you def need to have words!

tinkertinker · 02/02/2007 18:01

You should defo have words and if ness you should call Ofsted. If I had turned up and that was my child I think I would have lost the plot. Mind you, your natural instinct is normally right and if I didnt like the look of him no way would my child go to that house. There may be nothing sinister in it but still your piece of mind is everything.

I moved my child from a CM when I found out she was telling people things about my child and me....er hello if I wanted my private life published I would write a book or take out a page in a national spread It took alot of courage as she was very intimidating but then reality took hold and I was like er hello this is MY child. Be strong, you would never forgive yourself otherwise.

ayla99 · 02/02/2007 18:36

You're not being paranoid; this is definately not the normal service of a Registered Childminder!!

DH used to work shifts and would often be dressed in boxers throughout the day. BUT not anywhere near minded children - he kept to the bedroom.

Why on earth didn't the CM take your child with her? If the hubby was registered he should have been dressed appropriately and attending to the child. If he's not registered then the child should have gone with the CM.

star1976 · 02/02/2007 19:12

I would have gone ballistic if I turned up to collect my child and childminder had left them with someone else!

Surely if husband was registered and likely to be ocassionally minding child it would have been mentioned previously?

People surely choose a childminder cause the like them personally and trust them with their child? If anyone else was likely to be left in charge of child you would expect (demand) to have prior knowledge of it and for it to be mentioned in contract.

StrawberrySnowflakes · 02/02/2007 19:23

do you have her ofsted number?, check her out/him out on thier website??

nannynick · 02/02/2007 19:40

Written permission needs to be obtained from parents before a child can be left with an assistant - according to an Ofsted certificate I'm reading.

Therefore Hulan, if you have not given your approval (in writing) that your childminder can leave your child with her assistant, then she should not be doing so.

shosha · 02/02/2007 19:49

Message withdrawn

nannynick · 02/02/2007 20:40

Sorry, I don't know that one. Probably best to keep things updated by reading around the subject on occasion - so you keep up with any new developments, and checking you have the correct details for Social Services Referral Team & Out Of Hours Social Worker.

alibubbles · 02/02/2007 20:44

My child protection training certificate is valid fot three years. We have to do it every three years on the network too.

shosha · 02/02/2007 20:46

Message withdrawn

tinkertinker · 05/02/2007 16:06

Hi Hulan, can you let us know what happened with your CM ? Did you speak to her etc ? I have been wondering if you did etc, thanks, Tinkertinker

charmedhay · 07/02/2007 11:26

Hi i'm a registered childminder and its been known for me to load all kids in car to just pop out unless you have signed to say her dh can look after kids then he shouldn't,Also WHY is a child that can walk being put in a PEN ?????????? Have you spoken to her yet?Go with your heart!!

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