i dismissed my nanny for stealing, now she wants a reference.

[birdie2shoes]

I dismissed my nanny as she had been stealing from us. I said i wasn't going to prosecute her but i couldn't give her a reference. here we are a month later and an agency has left a message saying they're calling for a reference. what's the best thing to do here? refuse? tell the truth?

True pepsi.

Also thinking about it OP said she would not provide a reference. Best just to stick to what was said before. I would imagine that the refusal of your most recent employers to provide a reference would speak volumes for most employers and agencies.

If you had proof why didn't you prosecute?

oh that's a good response thanks.

It's or untrue to say she was dismissed for gross misconduct as long as you followed proper procedure.

Thanks tigger! Good job I never have to give a reference!

Damn cheeky putting you down as a referee in the circumstance.....if it were me, I'd tell the agency that you caught her stealing and dismissed her.

If you're not happy to do that, just tell the agency you dismissed her for reasons you're not able to disclose and you are not willing to provide a reference.

It's absolutely not true that you can't give a bad reference. References have to be factual. If you have proof she stole, you can say you dismissed her for theft, and if she challenges you have your proof.

Or you can decline to give a reference, but you mustn't lie and say she was fine because you have a duty of care to her future employers.

Keep it factual
State she was employed from date to date as job title and was dismissed for gross misconduct without giving any details

Karma has a way of creeping up on people and biting them on the backside

I can't believe she gave your details for a reference. Is she not very bright?

What "proof" do you have? Even clear video evidence could be dismissed in court if she said she had permission to take something or thar she put it back later.

I would say "I do not feel able to give X a reference but can confirm that she started to work for me on [date] and was dismissed from this employment on [date].

Just stating the dates is insufficient as some busy agencies will just accept that without questioning why there is no detail.

I would ignore the request. If you give her no reference or a bad reference she won't get the job, so those actions are only for if you believe no-one should employ her.