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Do you invite ex-nannies to your children's bday parties?

6 replies

balancingact · 26/01/2007 11:03

I had a nanny for 2 and a bit years and changed nannies in Sept last year (old nanny wanted a new job) - TBH, we felt it was actually time to switch and were glad she called an end to it rather than us. She was v good with the kids but she really did drive us up the wall - v big personality, quite bossy, etc etc. it was my first nanny so didn't know any better.
anyway, new nanny is soooo lovely i want to keep her until the children are 18 . My DD who turned 3 last nov had a party and we invited ex-nanny (having been just away from us for 2 months). it was ok but she just has this way of just dominating the scene - it seems silly, but it does really annoy me (almost acts as if she's mummy IYSWIM). she is good with the kids and loves them dearly...but sometimes, it just really grates.
anyway, my DS is turning one in march and we are giving him a bday party and was wondering if it would be rude not to invite her. (she does call me quite a bit so i do think the topic will come up). i really do not want to invite her - not opposed to her coming for a visit in the house - just don't really want to get annoyed on a day where am supposed to enjoy it with DS.
Am i being too mean? DS was 6 mos when she left and she was quite fond of him.

OP posts:

jura · 26/01/2007 13:23

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jura · 26/01/2007 13:25

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Bink · 26/01/2007 13:30

In your place I'd ask her to a Special Birthday Tea for your ds on a day which isn't the party day. Sounds like it would be easier for you, and she might even see it as an even nicer gesture. (I think then you can let the relationship gently fade, if she isn't going to be a lifelong friend of the family - but first birthdays are so special, I think I would involve her for that.)


WanderingTrolley · 26/01/2007 13:37

An ex-nanny speaks: from the timescale you give, I would say that her primary relationship was with your dd not your ds.

In the 6 months since she looked after him he will have changed enormously and won't remember her at all. She doesn't really have a relationship with him, IYSWIM.

Perfectly fine to not invite her. Can you gently allude to the above if she happens to mention the forthcoming birthday?

Might be a gentle way of easing her out of birthday dos, horrid though that sounds. Sorry, being a blunt here.


WanderingTrolley · 26/01/2007 13:38

That was meant to be "..I'm being a bit blunt here."

Agree with Bink.


balancingact · 26/01/2007 14:05

oh thank you for the messages. I do feel better now. DH and I went for so long with ex-nanny with the thought -she's good with the kids, so never mind if she drives us crazy and let a few things slide as well - and now that she's not with us, i'm still in that mindset!! I must get a grip and think i really must let the rel'n gently fade.
Also, current nanny will be in that party and i know (perhaps not meaning to) ex-nanny will say slightly inappropriate things to stamp her authority (once she called and asked what DS latest weight was and my current nanny didn't know as we have stopped taking him to health vistior and she tu tu 'ed (not sure of spelling). ANYWAY, i'm sure she will come to visit at some stage, but hopefully she will not ask a direct question!!!

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