Difficult bedtimes

[Curly1511]

I've never posted before but I've followed threads and everyone seems so helpful! And I need help!
DS 3.5yrs used to be amazing at bedtime, routine great! Could do bath, stories, kisses, say goodnight and come away for him to full blissfully asleep!
Now we are in a mess. Since trying to lose the dummy it's all changed. We've lost the dummy, Yay! but my DH and I have become the dummy substitute.
He was getting up, shouting for us, playing in all rooms, generally doing everything bar sleeping! At first we thought ok, he's playing quietly in room, let's leave it. But that meant him finally giving in around 2100 and only then because we'd gone in there to settle him. Knock on effect was major tired and stroppy the next day. So seeing we could settle him by being in there we've got ourselves in this horrid loop of after routine we are staying in his room, to make sure he stays in bed and fall asleep. Our evening's are gone! Plus I'm embarrassed to say but we get so frustrated raised voices are used and everyone ends up miserable and tired! Also he's started laughing at us if we do get cross. I know he can't help it, but it just adds fuel to fire.
HELP! Things need to change, I need to get back to the asleep by 1930 not 2040-2100. And not spending the eve on his floor 😏 And hopefully not waking in am racked with guilt from being a nasty mummy.
All ideas gratefully received,

Curly

Carry on with the bed time routine as usual, say goodnight, walk out and shut the door. Wait outside. If he comes out of the room, take him by the hand, put him back into bed and say, it's bedtime now, you need to go to sleep or you will be too tired to have fun at xxx tomorrow, give him a kiss and walk out. Next time he comes out, do the same but do not speak to him, put him to bed and just say, it's bed time and every single time after that the same thing until he goes to sleep, calm and quiet voices (while inwardly sobbing!). If he doesn't come out of his room, go in after 5 minutes and put him back in his bed and follow the above steps. Don't take it in turns on the same night, but on consecutive nights and make sure you are both doing exactly the same thing. He's looking for a reaction, if you don't give it, he will get bored!

I've helped sleep train countless children, it's tough but you have to be clear on the boundaries, don't give in. It can take up to 2 weeks (rarely longer than 4/5 night in my experience though). Good luck!

Thank you Callaird. I appreciate your advice. ☺

Google super nanny rapid return!

He's not still having an afternoon nap is he? He had identical issues will all of mine when they needed to drop the afternoon nap (but much earlier).

Otherwise I'd just gate the door (again we had to do that with 2 of mine - DS1 is very tall, so we ended up having to get a dog gate!). There was much whinging, but we would do a relaxed bedtime with bath etc and keep reminding them that its bedtime and if they didn't stay in their room we would have to put the gate on. We removed the gate when they had gone to sleep, so they could still get out if needed at night time.

OK, I'm trying to follow the above guidance. Imy not in room, which is good, but he's in and out of bed. I go in, put him back, now saying nothing, he thinks it's a game!

Korolean, he dropped his nap quite a while ago now, very active during day, think he'd be knackered! But no!

Arrrgh !