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Childcare

My son keeps whinging at my mindee....

7 replies

LaaLaaPosh · 25/01/2007 20:23

Help!!! I've been looking after a 6 year old girl before and after school, since the kids went back after christmas.
She's a lovely girl, very mature for her age, and to start with she and my 7 year old son got on fantastically.
However, this last week my son just keeps whinging at her and starting rows.
I realise that he might be feeling the strain of having to "share" mummy, and I have tried to explain to him, that if I don't childmind I'll have to go back to work myself (he hated me working).......The situation is really starting to wear me down now, I'm fed up with the sound of my own voice!!
Does anyone have any advice, before I lose my sanity!!!!lol!

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KaySamuels · 26/01/2007 07:34

If you just have these two in the house could you involve yourself when you sense an arguement brewing, for example get out a card game or board game and invite them both to play it you? Or give them very seperate things to do like baking at opposite sides of kitchen!

Your son has probably realised this is a permanent thing now and like you say may be feeling unsure about sharing you. Maybe promise him some nice one on one time at the weekend? If he is good he could pick something or you could make it a surprise outing?

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saltireneepsandtatties · 26/01/2007 07:46

I poseted something similar just a couple of weeks ago. My 8yr old son and one of the mindees (a girl, age 7) don't get on. DS1 can be very stroppy, and does wind them up - although this girl winds him up as well.
I have made upstairs a no-go zone for mindees, and DS can go upstairs and play with his toys in relative peace. Also i mindees and DS2 are watching a DVD, DS1 can go upstairs and watch something different if he wants. I have told DS1 to ignore this girl as much as possible, although she can be a wee madam at times ( and at the risk of getting flamed, i , from personal experience have found this to be true of a lot of girls over the age of 5) and tried to get him into trouble
"Saltire, X breathed on me" that sort of thing
I do find it difficult, and have basically told DS1 that the reason i childmind is so that i can take him to school in the mornings, and be there to pick him up afterwards, and at the same time earn a bit of money to be able to do things like go to the. If your mindees go upstairs, then i would change the rules, so your son has somewhere private to go so he isn't having to share his toys if he doesn't want to. Explain it all to him and ask him what he would like to do

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StrawberrySnowflakes · 26/01/2007 12:58

having same problem with my dd and mindee both similar age(3 almost 4) mindee is very...shall we say..sly!...and will do things to upset dd and other mindd as soon as i blink, but dd will constantly be "mummy, mindee just looked at me nasty", mindee IS looking at me" and so on...other mindee is same now and says to her mummy each morning "dont kiss mindee will you?"(as other mindee always wants cuddles and kisses from anyone who'll offer one!)
am sick of saying to dd/mindee, just play nice, shes not being nasty by looking at you, shes looking at you cos your beautiful but 2 and three yr olds dont 'get' it..and ive had the same all morning!..however, mindee 'does' pull nasty faces as daft as it sounds!and does wind them up in order for them to complain to me!.aaaaaaaarrrghhhh

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LaaLaaPosh · 26/01/2007 13:22

Thanks for all your suggestions!

I look after a 2 year old boy as well (who doesn't speak any english, just to make it a bit more complicated!!lol!)and my youngest son is also 2, so a lot of my time is taken up with them. We do all sit down and "do" things like baking/craft etc, which is slightly calmer (apart from the "she's got the colour I want"etc!)

The other prob is that my 2 sons share a bedroom, so the little one is often up there. I have said to DS1 that if he wants some private time, he can sit in my room (which is out-of-bounds) and watch a video. He's also starting a dance class next wednesday, so that can be "his" thing.

I think the thing that annoys DS1 the most is that mindee is, as Saltire said, a bit bossy (to say the least!) so he prob feels like he now has 2 moms!! It's also quite obvious to spot that mindee has a bit of a thing for DS1, bless! And as we all remember if you "like, like" someone as a child, you have to be stroppy with them!

We're making sticker-charts this afternoon, so we'll see if that makes a difference- Ishall keep you all notified on the progress!

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shosha · 26/01/2007 13:36

Message withdrawn

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franyfroo · 26/01/2007 14:21

you just have to be firm with your son. my daughter hates me minding but i keep reminding her that without it she would have to give up all her activities, holidays abroad etc. i make sure she and my son have all my attention at every other time

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LaaLaaPosh · 28/01/2007 15:28

We had a better day friday, making the sticker charts, we start using them monday, so fingers crossed! I've tried to explain further to my son this weekend, why mommy has to do this job if he wants me around for all his school things etc. I just worry incase mindee goes home and tells her mom what a brat my son is!!!lol!

Sosha- The nickname was one given to me by my friends as a teenager, I was as daft as LaaLaa (and I do a mean impression!!), but a big fan of clothes/make-up and all things Posh-like!!

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