When do children "love" the nanny?

[NatashaRomanoff]

Do they all eventually "love" and/or "adore" the nanny they have as I see so much?

We're four months in and my DD (2) still hides when the nanny arrives every day, regularly tells her 'I not like you' (which I reprimand every time as its not nice) when the nanny is making her, for example, get dressed. She never asks for her and still regularly cries that she wants to be when I leave for work.

My older children don't do this but they don't express any particular like or dislike for her. They say she's "ok."

Should they all adore her or is that a bit of a Mary Poppins mumsnet myth?

I think your youngest Dcs is telling you clearly how she feels and you should listen. If they haven't gelled it doesn't mean your nanny is bad nanny, she's just not a good fit for your family.

I agree with others, this nanny just doesn't sound like a great match for your family.

ignore the trollbot!

Oh do fuck off.

That's a well-aimed biscuit.

When I used to nanny it was only school aged kids so different, but I would have been looking for a new job if they didn't like me after 4 months. It shouldn't take that long at all.

I think you need to make a decision. There will be a nanny out there who fits your family.

Oh and yes to the biscuit.

Why fuck off, exactly? Is it such a leap of the imagination that children unhappy with a nanny would be better off in the care of their actual parents?

Why do you dump your children on a nanny all day, exactly? If you can afford a nanny it's not likely because you have to go out to work is it?

Banana How did you find out the nanny was being awful to your son?

Op. I think it's time for you to look for another nanny. As others have said the children are telling you she isn't right for your family.

It does sound like you could do better, in this case.

That said, I don't think it's fair to set "adoration" as a target. Our current nanny is fantastic - I have no doubts about her. Our youngest (14mo) adores her. Our eldest (3.5) I would say likes her, has fun with her and is happy to be left with her every day, but does not "adore" her and definitely prefers me.

I do think you need to be looking for someone your DC at least like though, and it doesn't sound like you have that.

I really don't have to justify myself to you, but a nanny is actually the cheapest form of childcare to us due to the number of children we have and the additional needs of my eldest.

Oh and do fuck off again. Cheers.

OP, you really don't have to justify yourself to a GF who has a very tenuous grip on the realities of earning a living for a family.

Yes please don't even reply to that nonsense. You're doing what's right for your family.

Natasha, I think you should listen to what your children are telling you and find a different nanny.

I had an aupair once who was perfectly nice to the children when I was there but quite nasty when I was gone.

How old are your older children? Could you ask them about how she is when you aren't there?

I've had two nannies - my kids adored them. Far more than their mother
Very occasional leg clinging in the 1-2 age bracket, usually when slightly under the weather.

Listen to your gut I'm afraid. You also say that you have older children - some gentle quizzing about what goes on when they are around might be in order