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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

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Original poster

Nanny car damage

24 replies

Octonought · 26/04/2016 20:15

So we have a wonderful nanny who we are generally very happy with and we would be lost without her.

Recently, she took my two youngest to the playgroup then the park in her car. It is less than 10 minutes walk but she chose to drive, which she often does. Fine by me but unnecessary. She usually uses her own car, but knows my husband will get the train if she wants to use our car to travel any distance. She has a very nice sports car so not practical for long trips.

Anyway. Whilst her back was turned at the park, my toddler got a stone and scratched the bodywork of her car - she was not being deliberately naughty, just too young to know better. Our nanny is understandably upset.

I feel we should pay for the damage (which is quite superficial).
Problem is, my DH thinks that it is her responsibility. He feels that she doesn't need to drive as much as she does (I do agree with this), it wouldn't have happened if she had walked, and if she was supervising the kids properly, it couldn't have happened. I can understand his viewpoint but don't think it's worth falling out about.

Who's right?

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DonkeyOaty · 26/04/2016 20:20

The weather was very weird today, I took my car places I could've walked and that was sans children!

A pebble isn't easily spotted in a hand, easily done (recalls oldest doing EXACTLY the same on our Audi, in a split second, sob! )

I would pay, in the interests of good relations and chalk it up

chillycurtains · 26/04/2016 20:26

No, you definitely need to pay for the damage.

Original poster

Octonought · 26/04/2016 20:26

Thanks for the opinion.

I don't think the weather is ever a factor, she regularly drives short distances even in good weather.

OP posts:

DonkeyOaty · 26/04/2016 20:28

Shrug

mayoketchupchocolate · 26/04/2016 20:30

I think you should pay. I think it's fine if you want to have a separate conversation with her about using the car too much when she could be walking, but I don't really think the two things are related here. You'd basically be punishing her for using her car when she may not have any idea that you'd rather that she walked a bit more. The fact is, your child damaged her car, and I totally understand that it's frustrating and was unintentional, but my personal feeling is that you should offer to pay and avoid bad feeling, then talk to her separately about the walking more thing.

Ilovewillow · 26/04/2016 20:34

I think you should pay for the car as it was your child. However, the driving everywhere I would have an issue with and I think if it concerns you, you should address this separately.

Original poster

Octonought · 26/04/2016 20:36

Thanks everyone, I agree.

I don't actually care about her not walking, Its entirely up to her. I was just thinking that the more she lets our kids around her car unnecessarily, the more risk of this sort of thing happening.

OP posts:

useyourimagination · 26/04/2016 20:38

How deep is the scratch? Is it possible to use some T Cut (?) to polish it out - this has worked on a couple of scratches on my car. Failing that, get quotes for fixing it, it could turn out to be an awful lot more than expected, before committing to anything.

At the end of the day, it depends how much you value the relationship though and she does, presumably, have insurance (if she uses her car regularly check she has business use on her insurance).

blublutoo · 26/04/2016 20:42

I can't get my head around driving for a walk that would take less than 10 mins! but then I walk everywhere. 30 mins walk to a playgroup is pretty normal for me. Breaks up the day!
Anyway, that's not the point so sorry about that! I think technically it's her responsibility isn't it ?! as she was looking after him at that time. Could you maybe offer half ?

blublutoo · 26/04/2016 20:45

Slightly different I guess, but there was a similar thread about a child who had broken a childminders tv and everyone said the childminder should pay because he was under her care.

BettyApplewhite · 26/04/2016 20:46

I actually don't think you should pay. She was in loco parentis, your child (and watching said child) was her responsibility. She should have insurance that covers this.

ApocalypseSlough · 26/04/2016 20:48

You should pay, but also have a conversation about using the car less.

MyKingdomForBrie · 26/04/2016 20:56

You're not obliged to pay but I would I think, to sort it out and keep good relations. She will certainly be more careful with the DC around her car now! I'm assuming it's not a 2 seater sports car?

oneowlgirl · 26/04/2016 22:47

I think your DH is right, you shouldn't pay as she chose to drive & should have been watching the DC more carefully. That said, given you think she's a great nanny, I'd offer to pay, as good relations are priceless.

I would use the opportunity to talk to her about driving so much though & tell her in future to avoid this happening again, you'd prefer the DC walk for short journeys.

MrsRyanGosling15 · 26/04/2016 22:51

No way would I pay. She is the nanny, she was meant to be supervising your children as part of her job. You are paying her to do this. I'm with your dh. Not a mission I would pay.

Callaird · 26/04/2016 23:02

I agree with PP, you shouldn't have to pay, however I'd probably offer to or even half.

I've crashed 5 nanny cars (none my fault, three I wasn't even in the car for!) but felt that as I was in charge, I should pay the repair bill/excess. My employers kindly refused!

Maybe not quite the same thing but I'd plugged my iPad in to charge, out of the way of my 16 month old charge, she managed to grab the lead and pull the iPad off the side, thankfully it missed her but cracked the screen. My boss was home but I was definitely in charge, she paid to have it repaired. I told no, it was my fault leaving it within her reach but she said it was her daughters fault and she would fix it, we had a right old argument about it! She did pay to have it repaired but it was only £80. Who knows how much it is going to cost her to fix it.

I think the driving thing is a red herring, if you have given her permission to drive the children in her car but haven't set any boundaries, there is not much you can do now. Going forward, you could say that you'd prefer her not to use it on trips of less than 20 minutes or x amount of miles unless it is horrible weather.

Primaryteach87 · 26/04/2016 23:05

You should pay, I think.

slithytove · 26/04/2016 23:14

DH is right.

Patapouf · 26/04/2016 23:19

Former nanny here! I don't think you should pay, I'd also be quite alarmed that she wasn't carefully watching children in a car park, even for just a few seconds!

Copperspider · 27/04/2016 00:31

Not what you're asking, but I'd be very concerned that your toddler was unsupervised in a car park.

JennyOnAPlate · 27/04/2016 09:18

This is like the childminders tv all over again!

I don't think you should pay. Your toddler was in her care at the time and therefore her responsibility.

bluecarpet · 27/04/2016 12:13

I would offer to pay the excess on her insurance on production of some proof of it from the insurance company.

Blondeshavemorefun · 27/04/2016 13:15

Hmmmm tricky

Good relations and I would say pay

But

She is their nanny and responsible for them. The fact she was in a car park and not holding hands and not even watching what your child is doing would worry me intensely !!!

JeanGenie23 · 27/04/2016 22:52

I think it's generous of you to offer but she should pay. I say that because I feel like this is one of those accidents that could have been prevented had she been more on the ball.

I don't know the layout of the park obviously but how did your Ds manage to play near the cars without nanny stopping him sooner. Was there ever any danger he could of gotten run over?

I appreciate things can happen in the quickest of flashes, but as a cm I know personal belongings, big and small, are subject to damage if used by children daily. It would be different if Ds was older and did it beliberately but in this case it was an unhappy accident.

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