CM ..... WWYD

[TvAddict2016]

Ds(8) dawdles at CM door at hand over in morning. DS acts a bit clingy at door .... not unusual. Wants a last cuddle before going in etc.

CM this morning, takes DS by shoulder /arm of coat and takes DS into hallway. This isn't the first time it's happened. CM also spoke to DS quite firmly.

I've been unhappy all day. I would not handle my child this way therefore don't expect CM to do so. The firm speaking is fine.

I spoke to CM tonight and they apologised and said in future they would just close the door til DS was ready to come in. I'm not sure I'm really happy with that response either.

Not sure if it's a AIBU or WWYD

Im willing to listen to reason.

How long are we talking about? I hate heating the street whilst faffing and prolonged goodbyes are going on. But I would never physically man handle a child and would just suggest a swifter hand over if I felt it was necessary.

Have a proper chat to her again.

Presumably mornings are quite busy and the CM needs to get everyone fed and out to school. I always make morning drop offs as quick as possible.

OK. I'll take it on board and see how it goes in the next few weeks.

It was the man handling that upset me.

Did she drag him in or just guide him by the arm? How long had she been waiting by that point?

My CM is very brusque at both collection and drop off. The DC are not man-handled but are spoken to impatiently and with exasperation. It doesn't exactly warm the DC to the CM. I appreciate they are busy times, but equally resent the lack of a smile or cheerful greeting. I cannot be so brusque with my clients, after all. But anyway...

What about if you have your cuddles before ringing the doorbell, then wouldn't be rushed inside? I would definitely say that I don't want you DS to be pulled about in such a manner (or look for a CM that wouldn't dream of doing that).

Most days the door is opened before we get there. I'm guessing that they are going to wait until we ring the bell now.

I would say it was more of a drag this morning ..... something I wouldn't dream of doing to my own child.

I wonder if she was worrying about the other children? Luckily, I have DH working with me and one of us can ensure the toddlers aren't getting up to mischief while the other can answer the door.

Having said that, even we have problems with some parents taking forever to say goodbye (anything up to 20 minutes with one ). When we have children eating breakfast who might choke if left alone, it's a real problem.

Keep the goodbyes short and cheerful is my advice. Quite surprised that an 8 year old is so clingy, though! Is he like this elsewhere?

I would discuss the approach that's acceptable for you both. I'd suggest saying goodbye in the car and then a quick handover. Most of my children are just sent through the door with a cheery wave goodbye. A couple stay longer. Obviously it's ok to stay longer if there's something urgent to discuss, but most things can wait until later, or be passed on by a note or text.

Long hangovers are generally not good for the children.

Not acceptable behaviour from CM. I often feel irritated by parents prolonging goodbyes and the door is open but I would never show my feelings towards parent or child and always have a welcoming smile even if some days it is forced. Best to explain to parents that you have to get on with the day as the other children need you too.

The hand overs are short ...... 30 seconds to a couple of minutes if that. I have to get to work too.

I made a concerted effort to keep it to an immediate handover today. So we'll see how it goes.