CM Club - do i help out or not?

[saltire]

I mind an adorable wee boy every day from 11am till 5pm. His siter goes to another CM round the corner ( neither of us could fit both in).
I had the boy and his sister one Sunday for 4 hours to help them out. She is, for want of a better word, a difficult child. They lived overseas and the parents openly admit they gave her whatever she wanted to A) stop her making a fuss and B) compenste for being away from family. She is very demanding of time, had a tantrum of epic proportions because my DS2 wouldn't play princesses and kiss her - and by epic i mean throwing toys around, lashing out, etc.
I have seen her having tantrums like this with her own CM, and her own mother. One night when the dad came to pick up my mindee i heard a screaming noise. My DH was in at the time and went running outside to see what was going on - it was this child with her dad, she had wanted to bring one of her CM's toys home and they wouldn't let her.
Anyway, the dad is away now until the 18th January. The mum has asked me if i can have mindee, plus the girl on Monday, as the school doesn't go back till Tuesday, and the girls CM has told them she is away till MOnday night. I know this is a lie, she told me, she just doesn't want the girl for the whole day, she upsets everyone. So, if you were me, would you help out or not? The extra money would be handy, but i am not sure i want to. however, i find it difficult to say no.

I've had a similar problem, one of my mindees is challenging and the parents went through a spate of asking me to have him for the day instead of sending him to school (as he wasn't actually ill but has health problems which could have worsened at school if that makes sense)

The first couple of times I said sure, and the child was, well I'll say challenging I won't do it again, if the parent asks I have other commitments (such as a toddler group older children can't go to)

The thing is she know's i won't be going any where like that, as my own 2 DS will be there as the school isn't back!

Can you have her you said you couldn't fit her in?

Say you're providing cover for someone else?

I normally have the mindee i'm on about, a 2 year old, and two sisters age 4 and 7 (before and after school). However i'm not having the sisters that day, and i don't know about the 2 year old. In normal circumstances i couldn't have the wee girl.

Does the parent know you definately don't have the older kids?

I personally, from experience of having a child I didn't really want during the day, wouldn't have them.

Maybe you should be honest and say that it wouldn't be fair on the other children! If you make up an excuse this time, will you get asked again and have to think up yet another excuse?

Well, guess what - I'm having the "delightful" girl tomorrow, and her brother. I am v. Pssed off this week. As i said on another thread, mindee 1s parents never rang me at all during the holidays, so i assumed i was getting him last week at some point. At the time of writing this they still they still haven't rung me. I know* i should call them, but this always happens with them after holidays, i have to chase them up, or i call to ask her to bring the buggy, or extra nappies and she always forgets.
As for mindee 2 and his siter, well as i wrote above, the mother wants me to have her, and i wasn't keen. The boy is an absolute delight to have, but the girl - well difficult just doesn't describe it. However, when she called me 10 minutes ago to check if i was ok for tomorrow, she said that i had told her DH that i was ok to have the girl as well. When i told her what i had said, she said
"Oh, well it must be your Scottish accent, he wouldn't understand"..
Can you tell i am so fed up, if it wasn't for the fact i need to money i would pack it in right now.

poor you

My dd never settled at the c/minder I employ for ds. She is 5 & never really liked going. I didn't work for the first 4 yrs of dd's life so the c/minder was the first person I really left her with. One day I came home and the c/minder was in tears, dd was in tears. The C/minder said dd had started crying & said she was scared.. she wouldn't say scared of what though. C/minders 3 kids & 2 other mindees were there & dd was upsetting everyone.

I changed her from the c/minder & now send her to an after schools club that she loves as there are far more kids there & far more for her to do. Ds is still with the c/minder.

I hope my c/minder never described my dd as a difficult child

Although I can understand it would be very draining on you. I appreciated that which is why I changed my care arrangements for dd.

If you don't want to mind the child tomorrow then don't as she is sure to pick up on your dislike of her.

It's not because the child isn't settling that is making things difficult. She is simply a difficult child, sorry, but there is no other way of putting it politely. This is a child who kicked her regular CM in the playground because she makes her hold onto the buggy when walking along a main road. She spat on her CM's daughter's face at the park because the daughter wouldn't let her on her bike. She lay in middle of the road when with her mother screaming (i could hear her in myhouse)because she didn't want to go teh shop. Her parents have admitted to me and other Cm that they gave her everything she wanted - if she wanted a doll, she got it, they spent a fortune on Disney online buying her things, taking her into toyshops etc

i ould lay down the rules the minute the girl comes toyou in the morning..she is old enough to know what she does is wrong..i bet she doesnt do it at school!! lay it straight..tell her there willno hitting/spitting/kicking etc or she will be having time out everytime and that no matter how much she screams you will not give in ..give her a chart/with stickers for that day and everytime she does something nice/kind etc ..no matter how small she will get a sticker which can be converted to sweets/money[whatever you feel like] but she will also lose one everytie she misbehaves and stick to it.i know its probably a chore but it may just work in your favour and if it does you can pass it on to her cm.. you can even print out her own reward certificate for being a good girl to take home..i use a reward certificate when my children or mindeees try anew food/ do a special kind thing for another child etc and they are so proud of their achevment and their parents are always thrilled as they really appreciate the effort ive put in and the child will often go on to better behaviour/eating at home as theyve got that to remind them....GOOD LUCK