help! nervous mum needs any tips on questions to ask nanny, what tasks nanny should do etc

[Gemmitygem]

About to try to find a nanny for my DS who will be 4 months when I go back to work. complicated by the fact that we're living in central Asia at the moment (I'm not worried about this as it will be great if she speaks Russian to him. However, I am very nervous about leaving him, and DH is scaring me by saying 'oh, she probably won't even talk to him or play with him all day!'

DS is a very happy baby who follows a strict routine, and he is so good and contented that it would be possible to leave him alone for hours (if the nanny was irresponsible), and we would never know; this is what really worries me. Short of installing cameras (and this has occurred to me), how can we ensure the nanny plays with him and follows our routine? I'm worried because I'm not a very good judge of character at first meeting, takes me a while to get the sum of someone..

any tips for what questions to ask, what list of tasks the nanny should do, would be much appreciated!

Wow, and I thought hiring a nanny in the UK was challenging. Where are you in Central Asia? Is a nanny your only option? Could you hire one from your native country (UK?) or does she need to be local?

I remember reading a book in Waterstones when my first child was born and it said something like "If you've considered installing hodden cameras..." (and I thought, oh that's an idea) and then it said "...then a nanny is not for you." So I shelved the idea of a nanny. But, then took the plunge about a year later.

I am, however, of the opinion that putting a single very young child in the sole charge of anunsupervised nanny can be very risky. But, in Central Asia, I don't know if you have a lot of options.

Hmm, that's interesting - my guess would be that they do not have qualified nannies in the former Russian republics.

I would avoid middle aged women with nursery background - I have early childhood memories of beatings with sticks and all sorts of mistreatments in institutional setting. Sorry don't mean to freak you out. I would go for somebody young, possibly a trained nurse who has some babysitting experience or lots of siblings or similar. Maybe I am talking complete nonsence so feel free to ignore me.

When I was interviewing my nanny (who is a 21 year old from Poland) ny main thought was - would I be happpy if my dc grew up to have her personality.
Also I asked her to tell me about a baby that she used to look after and the way she spoke about the baby spoke volumes to me.
You can ask her how she would plan the day etc.

You can give her a relatively detailed list of things that you want her to do during the day and a routine that she needs to follow.

I was also worried that I wouldn't know if my nanny was neglecting my ds but what I find is that people who I meet - like the GP, my neighbours and other mums always make a point in telling me how good my nanny is with ds.

HTH

can you organise to do a trial session with the stronger contenders, even a couple of days if possible. That might give you a chance to get over the first impressions thing, since you say you aren't so good with them

btw our nanny is 21 yo Russian whose family moved to Lithuania and she is great. We did trial session but knew after a couple of hours and offered her job there and then

good luck

thanks for tips!

Will definitely try a trial session, as well as asking her about babies she's looked after. We're in Kazakhstan, so she would either be ethnically Russian or ethnically Kazakh. I'm not worried about the cultural things so much, since I know that Russians are generally very good with kids and treat childhood as a magical time (with the attitude that adult life is hard and likely to be quite crap so you must give your kids a good childhood), and they're also into routines and good manners etc which suits us. The main concern for me is more to get a really kind and responsible person who will follow our routine and will be really patient and kind to DS.. justaphase, I have the same feeling that someone younger who has possibly not had her own kids is better, cos more likely to do things your way..

oh well, we're going back on 9th Jan so will let you know how we get on! thanks again!

Oh, interesting. Where in Kaz? The people there are lovely. I would think it's a great culture of caregivers.

There is a mumsnetter (suejonez) who is currentlyin Kaz adopting a lovely lovely little boy. She has said very good things about the orphanage. So I wouldn't be too quick to write of the quality of care givers in places like porphanages and nurseries.

Where are you in Kaz? What do you do? Oil business by any chance?

PS Lots of the people there are ethnically Korean, but perhaps you are including them in the Kazakh ethnicity.