cm club need your veiws i am so upset

[upsetone]

hi everyone i am a regular here but have changed my name for this thread because of some of the details

finished work on fri 22nd with all the joys of christmas when bil came round to chat with dh
anyway when bil went dh said we needed to talk

my neighbour/friend who lives up the road from me looks after my niece and nephew after school as i couldnt do it because of numbers

anyway neighbour has MS and has bad days and good days, i only really talk to her in the playground

somebody has reported my neighbour for collecting whatever benifits she may get because she has the children after school

my sil and neighbour have decided its me cause the person who reported her knew the names and ages of the children

anyway they are phoning OFSTED to report me for revenge they are going to tell OFSTED that my dh smokes weed (which he does but at his friends)

i am under instuction never to tell sil that bil told us as this would rock their marriage

as it has been christmas i have had to see sil and i sat there smiling offering her wine/chocs

now christmas is over i am very worried dont know what to do?

Oh bloody hell, you poor thing. If it was me i would tell it exactly how it is. You KNOW you have done nothing wrong, and stick to your guns. What is the matter with people, always feeling it necessary to upset someone elses 'world'

I'm not a CM, i'm a nanny, but understand completely about how it feels to be accused of something you haven't done. Hope it gets sorted

omg thats awful !
you know you have done nothing wrong and your concionce is clear so theres nothing they can tell ofsted that will harm your registration.

so what if your dh smokes weed at his mates house?! its nothing to do with your capability as a cm.
be honest if ofsted do approach you about and explain that you know who has reportred you and that it is purely out of petty vengance.
how silly some people are.
i really hope it all gets sorted for you and try not to worry.

arm thats concience not concionce! bit late to be spelling correctly!!

I would call ofsted yourself and let them know what is happening. I had a cm friend in a similar situation so she put eveything in writing to ofsted and when the complaint finally arrived ofsted were pre-warned

definatly call ofsted yourself, ask to speak to maybe the inspector who checks you out, she/he's met you and can relate to you..explain they have no grounds by which to go one reg complaint andthen..bollock your in laws!..they havent even got the balls to come to you, go to the sil, shes obv too cowardly to speak to you and pretends bil has said not to tell you.nasty people

yes, just read last post, write them instead and before you do call in laws and tell them regarding the 'wispers' youve heard, you will yourself be now lodging an investigation with ofsted, theyll crap themselves for hiring un reg help and prob aplogise profusely!..hope so

I would go straight to the woman with MS and confront her. Tell her you didn't do it and she is mistaken and you will not be very happy if she reports you to ofsted out of spite for something you didn't do.

Then, when Ofsted comes around, I'd deny anything I knew they couldn't prove. Are they going to hang out at DH's friends house until they pull out the weed? Is DH required to provide a blood/urine sample? If not, tell them she is bonkers.

She must be a registerd childminder as well, right? So why don't you tell her you'll report her if she reports you?

"i am under instuction never to tell sil that bil told us as this would rock their marriage" eerrrr hello - what about what they are doing to you!!!!!

I would certainly tell them how it is - you poor thing. You have to stand up for yourself, they cannot treat you like this.

I completely agree with McDreamy. It is very rude of bil to put you in this position. And rude of sil to report you behind your back. And rude of sill and neighbor to accuse of such things behind your back without giving you the opportunity to speak for yourself. And if your DH is asking you to honor bil's wishes of not saying anything, then he too is being unfair.

To be perfectly honest, you are the only one in this whole scenario who hasn't done anything wrong.

thanks guys

MS lady is not a childminder just my sil friend, dont know the politics not sure if shes being paid dont care

aswel as this s**t going on i have a dying niece (8 mths) to think about

i am soooo upset at the mo, still off work this week so trying to sort my head out but it has put a dampers on christmas

anyway i am going to pick my niece up for the day tomorrow and try and forget about supid witches

as you all say they cant prove anything

one more point bil is head of IT at local high school and sil is a special needs teacher i could turn this around if i needed to as sil shares a drag or 2 with my dh at occasions

Sounds to me like she's got more to lose than you do. Also, you could point out to your DH if need be that if it weren't for HIS dope smokin' habit they wouldn't have anything to hang over you.

So sorry about your neice. So so sorry... Hang in there.

PS If she is looking after another child in her home for more than 2 hours a dya I think she's practicing childminding without a licines and could be in a lot deeper shit than you. Some childminders will surely come along and confirm if this is true.

Yes, in England caring for a child who is not a relative, for more than 2 hours on more than 6 occasions per year (may be 5 occasions, sorry haven't looked that up), "For Reward" which includes things other than money, requires registration. Only applies if the children are under 8 years old... Care for over 8's at present is not regulated.

oh poor you having to deal with all this and a very ill niece.
and how awful of your sil knowing that you are already under a mountain of stress she decides to add to it by bad mouthing you to a neighbour. i would be very very cross and confront her despite what your bil has said.
how dare he tell your dh something like that then give strict instructions never to say anything! what a plonker!!

ah, clicked who im speaking to now, how is your niece? and her parents?..not the same ones were talking about is it??

TBH i doubt they WILL contact ofsted but i would def speak to them and this woman to give them a peice of your mind, remind them, they are the ones who are in the wrong and have somehow come to some stupid conclusion that you have shopped her..small minded 'guilty' people.hug to you