Au pair over using car

[OneLtwoPs]

I might have screwed up but not sure.

Au pair has designated car, pays own petrol and can use it as she wants "within reason", as it says her contract, stupidly not defined but previous AP only pottered locally so hasn't been an issue. I pay her back petrol money for every school run, usually around 4 per week.

Just discovered she's done 1,200 miles in 28 days. Thinking of the the increased costs, I told her she's going to have to pay 10p per mile on top of her petrol when it's her own use but she had a wobbly as she's found a job 20 miles away and clearly feels I am curtailing her freedom (we live near a city so there are other jobs!).

Other than this she's a good au pair, nice, not an overly hard worker but ok. Cruisey job, only one DD to look after, nothing taxing.

Should I have suddenly slapped 10p per mile onto costs? Now I'm not so sure but feel she's abused my good will.

Any advice? Don't particularly want to lose her but am upset at excessive mileage.

What Karoleann says.

We've had au pairs for the last several years and it's really important to bear in mind that 'reasonable' means different things to different people. You have to be prepared to be very specific.

I don't for a minute think you just have to accept the situation as it is for the rest of the time she is here but I would approach the conversation by saying you're sorry there has a been a misunderstanding - the other ap's you've had just happened to have similar ideas to you about car useage and you should have been more detailed. And then just be very specific about what is okay for you and what is not. Maximum monthly milage is a good idea because you are not saying: you can't go here with your friends as such.

You are both to blame. You didn't state a maximum mileage but does seem a bit excessive to travel the distances you said

I assume this is during the weekend/her time off?

It's good she goes out and about

I can easily do 300 a week just pottering about locally

I can only do 10,000 miles a year or pay more for my services - I generally only do 7000 a year so what she has done is a lot. But I agree that you'll have to suck it up retrospectively and from now on either put a limit or charge an amount extra per mile.

1,200 miles a month is not anywhere near reasonable!

Isn't the average about half that.

I'd be capping her much lower.

I think her mileage is very high and I would be tempted to allow her the car for local journeys only - though I know it's too late to change it so dramatically for this au pair.

Personally I'd rather limit the mileage or use rather than charge.

I'd use the insurance limit as the "within reason" limit.
And stop at that. She will have to manage her trips to account for that mileage, or stop using the car for anything other than ferrying the children when it reaches a mileage of X (deduct mileage attributable to her work as AP).

I think if you tell her that going forward you would like her to pay X for miles over what you consider reasonable then she cant really argue

You have found out soon enough. It's not as if she's already clocked 100 miles on it.
There's still time to clarify what "within reason" means.

1000miles a month isn't that much tbh.
That's about what I do with my car and I only do school stuff, going to work (7 miles away) and a few day trip at the weekend.

Sorry do yes o would think that what she is doing is within reason.

I also suspect that she has just arrived and wants to do some sightseeing etc and discover the country?
Remember you would hate it if she was staying at home all day....

Can you get petrol for 10 a mile? I would say actual petrol likely to cost more like 20-25 unless you have the world's most efficient car and that's without the extra servicing/depreciation.

Surely retrospectively you can't change this? I'd be very upset in your ap's shoes. To
Her the trips are reasonable. My ap has done 5000km in 6 months. That's her choice. We even pay some fuel. If she does her job well, is reliable, pleasant.. Then just remember for next time to stipulate not over X km per week etc. I'm guessing you stipulated they couldn't use the car to travel on holidays? Our ap just got back from a trio
To Sydney. 3500 kms later. Hey ho she had a good time. The world moves on.