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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

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Original poster

Am i the only one mystified why nannies do this?

37 replies

balancingact · 18/12/2006 10:05

Maybe i shouldn't generalise, but it's my impression that nannies, within a few days of knowing other nannies, start talking about their salaries. I don't know if it's a case of one upmanship amongst them, but my view is if you've taken a job, then you are clearly happy with the offer so what does it matter what your next door nanny makes? clearly, they would have had a feel for the market rates when they were interviewing anyway? I just find it so strange as i would never dream of discussing my salary with anyone at the office or even with my friends - i just feel it's no one's business.
No point to the post - just random musing in the run-up to Christmas!!
I just wonder if there are employers who get the "the nanny next door gets this and she works less hours" chats....

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justaphase · 18/12/2006 10:26

it is only human...

uwila · 18/12/2006 10:57

Yes, why do nannies do this? Are nannies an overly competitive breed? I wouldn't think so, really.

nannyj · 18/12/2006 11:11

I would not discuss with my employers other nannies salaries but yes we do discuss it between ourselves very openly, or at least the nannies i know. I think its because there is usually a pretty standard rate that nannies earn in certain jobs in certain areas and they can rise or fall depending on the economy. When i started my job 2 years ago I recieved the market rate for my age, experience and area of London but 2 years along the road salaries have risen quite dramatically and i think the one way to find that out is by talking to other nannies. My wage rises every year have not reflected the market rise so I'm thinking of moving on and changing jobs.

Original poster

balancingact · 18/12/2006 11:23

nannyj, is the main reason cause you're not paid as much as the others or you're also not happy?
i know being a nanny is just the same as any other job, where you want to achieve the highest job satisfaction as possible (and clearly, compensation is one element of it), it still makes for depressing reading though as no matter how "good" an employer you are, you may lose a fabulous nanny because there are 3 hedge fund managers living around you that can give more perks/bonuses.
oddly enough, when i hired new nanny, all the expected salaries indicated by the agencies were way higher than what i agreed to pay, and she still signed up for it - and she is fab, and looks to be very happy. i guess i should thank my lucky stars, until a hedge fund manager moves next door to me....and then i'm screwed.

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nannyj · 18/12/2006 12:08

I think money is important to me at the moment because i'm in debt and the age i am (32). When i was 25 i couldn't care less what other nannies where earning, most nannies will stay in a job because they are happy and money won't be a huge factor. Just for me it niggles that i know my employers could pay a bit more and there doesn't seem to be compensation for being loyal and no incentive for staying in a job more than 18 months which is a shame i think. So yes there are other factors for me wanting to leave but if they gave me more money i could live with the things that annoy me.

My last job was my favourite and i worked for 2 teachers and got less money live out than i do now live in and they were lovely people. I wouldn't have dreamed of leaving (they moved away) as i was so happy. So i'm sure your nanny will stay with you, you sound lovely.

uwila · 18/12/2006 12:33

Nannyj, I think those things are true for everybody. The UK is a lot more expensive than it was 10 years ago. And you are certainly not the only thirty something in debt. So, while you may feel that this equeates to you needing to earn more it also equates to parents having less with wich to pay you.

bluejelly · 18/12/2006 12:39

I talk about my salary with my friends and colleagues
I think it should be open discussion

uwila · 18/12/2006 12:42

So how much do you make then?

Original poster

balancingact · 18/12/2006 12:44

nannyj, out of curiousity, do you sometimes think that maybe what the other nannies say to you is not really what they earn out of a desire to "impress"? The reason i ask is just that my recent experience with current nanny was that she was happy to receive what i offered her, and was surprised to find out (later on) what the agency had put as her indicative salary...i just don't want you to feel disconted in a job that (turns out) was paying you fairly....
a previous nanny used to tell me how this and that nanny got paid (always higher) than what she was getting - a) maybe it was just her trying to wrangle a raise, though she was paid the going rate, or b) her friends were inflating salaries in a bid to look like they got the best job. It does feel like nanny salaries are definitely going up much faster than most people's salaries!

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Original poster

balancingact · 18/12/2006 12:49

bluejelly, your post really is at the heart of my puzzlement....why the need to discuss? i suppose i just grew up with the view that it's not really polite to talk about money so openly like that - yes, i suppose my friends and i complain about how expensive everything is in london etc etc but not to the point of - how much do you make? that's why i find it so startling that nannies are so willing to discuss this, even with those they would consider good friends.

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nannyj · 18/12/2006 13:47

I totally agree that in my experience nannies are the only profession that talks so openly about salaries. I wouldn't say to my employers that so and so earned more to be honest i would just talk about it to my nanny friends.

Who knows if they inflate their salaries to impress others i've never done it. But i do think if you have accepted a job it's out of order then moan if you find out other people are earning more. Although maybe you mums think thats what i've done but i'm just unhappy with the wage increases over the 2 years. Although if the family i was working for were struggling then it wouldn't bother me at all, i suppose i just feel undervalued at the moment but thats my problem not the family i work for.

I think nanny salaries have definately risen alot in the last 18 months, have no idea why though.

vitomum · 18/12/2006 13:52

i don't think it strange at all. i know a number of people who work in the same filed as me and we quite openly dicsuss salaries. TBH i find it strange that some people find talking about money offensive / rude etc

Caroligula · 18/12/2006 14:06

Probably because unlike in an office, there isn't a taboo about it and the only way you know whether you're being underpaid, is by finding out what your peers are earning.

ThePrisoner · 18/12/2006 14:43

Childminders always discuss what their hourly rates are! I guess it ensures that we all know what the general rate is locally and keeps everyone on a fairly even keel.

bluejelly · 18/12/2006 16:02

It's only by discussing these things that you can find out if you are being underpaid or not. I did earlier this year and found out taht I was being £2k less than the recommended minimum for someone of my experience. I complained to my bosses and my salary was put up ( and backdated)
If I didn't know what others were earning then I would've continued to have been underpaid

colditz · 18/12/2006 16:05

it's only people in office jobs who are shifty about money. You don't get plumbers saying "Gosh, i can't tell you that, how rude of yu to ask!" when you ask them for a quote!

colditz · 18/12/2006 16:06

They do that "Hsssss" thing with their teeth instead, LOL!

Original poster

balancingact · 18/12/2006 16:28

well, when you ask a plumber for a quote, you are not asking him what his salary is, you are asking what you need to pay for a service he is doing for you. So that's not really analagous.
but granted, i have only ever worked in an office environment so it's the only experience i have - and hence my assumption that people don't talk about their salaries.
bluejelly, am pleased your employers did right by you - so from that perspective, i can see why it's good nannies are open about what you make.

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mousiemousie · 18/12/2006 16:39

It's pretty obvious that you would want to know the going rate for your job isn't it? And nannies should be able to negotiate pay rises same as everyone else, surely?

Clearly as you are the employer you are not going to be particularly happy about it but such is the dynamic of employer/employee relationships, surely?

mousiemousie · 18/12/2006 16:40

surely to goodness can I stop saying surely

bunsen · 18/12/2006 19:18

How much is a nanny per week? I live in Leeds, also does anyone know of any sites where you can share a nanny with others requiring child care locally?
Thanks

NannyL · 18/12/2006 21:20

i do not discuss salaries with any of my nanny friends and never have!

mogs0 · 18/12/2006 21:40

bunsen- there's a site called www.sharingcare.co.uk I'm not sure which parts of the country they cover as I've only ever looked at the London stuff!

As for talking about salaries, with friends I am quite open about what I earn. However, I have an ex-employer who I see every now and again who is always asking how much I earn, how much rent I pay, how much state benefits I get? I do find that very intrusive as I wouldn't ever dream of asking how much her mortgage is or how much her husband's bonus was for the year. If you're willing to volunteer the info yourself then fair enough but I wouldn't ever ask.

Having been a childcarer (nanny and now CM) for 10 years I have never over-inflating my salary to impress others and as far as I'm aware I don't know any nannies that have. I do know other proffesionals though that do this and if it makes them happy then carry on!!

Bluebear · 18/12/2006 21:46

Bunsen - as well as sharingcare (which I have found useful but I'm in London too), there is thenannysharers.co.uk and you could put an advert on your local netmums.co.uk childcare board - and you could post a thread on mumsnet too.
Don't know what your local rates are but there is a chart on nannyjob.co.uk with some guideline salaries I think.

Back to the original post - I know my nanny knows the salaries of her friends and most of them are below what she's on (she is more qualified than most)..but she is the only one that has her tax and NI paid! I find it annoying that the salary comparisons are made when if I want to increase my nanny's salary it's almost twice the net amount once I've paid the tax and NI.

uwila · 19/12/2006 07:54

Bluebear, you don't pay her in net, do you?

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