CM CLUB - what shall i do??

[LoveMyGirls]

i have a new boy (he's been coming for a month now bringing a relative with him) for a few hrs here and there generally a couple of days a week.
i've said he needs to come on his own now and they have agreed but then a couple of the days they have come with him - because hes been upset and they said they would come with him, despite making it harder long term all round imo. (so not been sticking to what we agreed and they havent rang and asked so we can discuss it, they have just done it and obv i dont feel i can create a fuss when its hard enough as it is)

now he is meant to be taking over from my full timer but im a bit worried. if i run with this and it doesnt work out i cant claim the £60 a week (which i will desperatly need if it doesnt work out) so should i let him go and claim the money or run with it and risk it not working out and me not being able to claim money.

ok i have decided to speak to his parents say we have come to the end of our first month and they either sign a contract agreeing for him to come alone and for a min of 30hrs per week or we end the agreement. (hes due to start 30hrs next week btw)

no advice.. but bumping in the hope that someone can help...

I know its hard but you have to be tough and say to parent/relative who brings him I think its best to see how quickly he settles on his own as this will give me a chance to get to know him, this is my usual procedure (whether it is or not) and has always worked in the past. If you are unhappy with this I suggest we refiew the arrangement. I hate anything like this but if it was a nursery they would tell them the same to just leave him to adjust to his new surroundings and friends. Offer to video him or take pics so they can see he is ettled ( if he does) My only other advice is that maybe you will encounter problems like this all throught the arrangement and its better to bow out now and look for something else only you can tell as you are there. I hope this helps you a bit, and I completely sympathise with having to sdeal with tricky situations I am also a CM. Good Luck

ok i bit the bullet and was straight with her i will know by the end of the day what the outcome is.

Good luck. I've had parents that just won't go - one would even ask her 3 year old "Okay, can i go now?" and if he didn't say yes she wouldn't go!

I've looked after over 50 children and IME brief, firm goodbyes with a kiss & cuddle work well provided that after saying goodbye the parent goes & its often best if they don't look back or if they do give one BRIEF wave/blow kiss and go. I've had parents who've wanted to sit down & play for a bit to settle their child but IMO that just gets teaches the child that when they come to my house mum will be playing too.

You're quite right to insist on a signed contract if they want to continue with the place. If the arrangement is for 30 hours from next week then charge for the full 30 hours from next week; its their choice if they want to use it or not. If they delay signing the contract explain you can't hold the place for them if there are other parents wanting to sign up.

I advise parents to make their goodbye brief. If the child gets really upset then I phone/text them to let them know when the child has stopped crying/joined in play. I tell parents they can phone me during the day, especially in the first week if they want to check up on how he's doing. IME children usually settle quite well once their parent has gone and they've had some time on their own to get used to it and I tell parents that if this doesn't happen with their child I will call them to let them know.

thanks, it is going to be hard but unless she wants to give up work she has to let him deal with it.

he's coming on his own today from 3.30 im thinking i'll just let him get on with it and if he wants to join in then he can and i'll just keeping reassuring him now and again. I know he likes me because he runs to me with his arms open for me to pick him up - but only when they are with him so he does just need to get used to being with me on his own, im also thinking toddler groups/ outings are going to be a nightmare, how do you cope with those when the child is like this? (crying wont take coat off or put bag down and just wants to go home)

BTW i told her that if she decides to do the contract (we're only on a short term one at the mo) then he comes on his own and i will commit to dealing with the tantrums/ crying etc and then we'll have to give each other a mths notice. If she doesnt want that then we have to end it.

Personally i htink after a week or two he will settle, the past mth has been a waste of time really as all he has learnt is that if he crys then they come with him.

hi i had a little boy who didnt take his coat off for the first week, 'mummy be here in a mintet' he kept saying, the 2nd week decided to take it off but had to have it in sight, by the 3 rd week he was complaining about going home.
Another little girl had never been out of her mothers sight(even when mum went to loo,) when she came to me at 2, it tokk her a good 6 weeks to settle, and found in the enddad had to drop her off as mother and daughter just set each other off, she started school this year, now a very confident, social well adjusted young lady!
(who still comes before and after school.