Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

Flip

Original poster

Are you friends with your nanny on Facebook?

17 replies

Rafterplease · 13/12/2015 22:00

Just that, really. Bit of an AIBU, but mostly just nosiness on my part. I've been friended by my nanny and I'm not sure whether to accept. I am a big girl and can make my own decisions but it just got me curious as to what is 'normal'.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Iguessyourestuckwithme · 13/12/2015 22:03

I don't have my bosses on facebook and neither of us has even thought about adding the other. I was surprised when she came up as someone I might know and did laugh when I told her she'd come up on my Facebook and I had taken her profile pic! But nope I don't moan or put anything bad on there on work nor do I put photos of totally trashed at the weekends but still it's a private space and I would feel odd if she was on there.

NannyNim · 13/12/2015 22:57

Like guess I don't have my bosses on Facebook and it wouldn't occur to me to do so. I also don't post anything I wouldn't be happy for them to see and I'm not tagged in anything that could be deemed inappropriate it's simply that they are my bosses and we have a professional relationship so keep our social media that way too.

The nanny/employer relationship is an odd one, particularly if the nanny is live in - as I am - because you become very close to each other and the nanny is privy to some very intimate things e.g. the employer fetching breakfast in their pyjamas first thing in the morning, but I find not having my bosses on my social media is a good way of maintaining healthy professional boundaries.

SewButtons · 13/12/2015 23:00

I only have my bosses on Facebook once I no longer work for them. Never current employers as I think it blurs the relationship too much.
Also I've only ever heard bad things about having bosses on Facebook.
It is nice to have old bosses on Facebook though as a way of keeping in touch with the children.

TurnOffTheTv · 13/12/2015 23:05

I thought you meant your grandma

imsorryihaventaclue · 13/12/2015 23:06

Keep work and personal separate. I've never been Facebook friends with my nannies when they have worked for me but have friended afterwards as it's an easy way to maintain contact.

OVienna · 14/12/2015 02:01

I think ours was after she left - the last one that is. I am FB friends with the au pairs. Wrt nanny- I really like keeping in touch afterwards- it's been a good thing.

Gusthetheatrecat · 14/12/2015 10:30

I have always had a personal policy of not befriending people on social media who I employ! I started this when I was managing a team, and have carried it on with our au pairs, whom I now seem to befriend on facebook / follow on instagram after they've left us. I think although there probably wouldn't be a problem, it feels easier to me if our social media lives are separate.

Blondeshavemorefun · 14/12/2015 15:38

Never have current employers on fb tho have a few ex
Ones / nice way to keep in touch and have a few charges (now adults) on mine but also on a restricted list

Very weird a nanny would want an employer. Best thing to do is ignore and if she says anything then say you never mix work and pleasure

Rosieposiepuddingandpie · 14/12/2015 16:06

I have the odd ex employer on but certainly wouldn't want a current employer. I don't do anything that would bother me if an employer saw but I think it kind of crosses a boundary between employer/friend. You need to be able to put your employer hat on at times and I think that's much harder if you're too friendly.

Hihohoho1 · 16/12/2015 10:31

No I wouldn't. Slightly different for me as a cm I do get friends requests from parents but always ignore.

My personal life is personal. Best kept professional I think.

Callaird · 17/12/2015 23:52

No I wouldn't.

I don't say or do anything that I wouldn't want her to see but I do have the odd friend who puts up some risqué posts very occasionally looking at blondes!! that I'll like or reply too.

Also some friends are photo happy and will post all manner of things after a night out and tag me them, even if I wasn't out with them !

I do have most of my old charges on there, ranging from 30 to 10 years old so I always thing twice about over sharing too.

Callaird · 17/12/2015 23:54

By odd friend - I don't mean blondes is odd! Just one or two friends!

Blondeshavemorefun · 18/12/2015 13:45

I am odd. And wait till tomorrow's nannys night out and secret Santa

Ps you have 10yrs on your fb?

Booboostwo · 18/12/2015 14:49

Yes but we also love next door to each other and I don't post anything on FB that I would not be happy for everyone I know to learn about.

Booboostwo · 18/12/2015 14:49

'Live' for christ's sake not 'love'

Callaird · 20/12/2015 11:57

Blondes Unfortunately yes I do. I don't agree with it but the parents allow it (and are not friends with them) so it's my way of keeping an eye on them. To make sure they are not posting anything inappropriate or being bullied. I know their parents will be on it if they knew but also know that they don't check themselves😟

C was bullied quite a bit when he was 13/14, thankfully he is very thick skinned so a lot if it went right over his head but when it got bad and he was trying to sort it out himself, I called him and made him tell his mum. I would have called her myself if he hadn't but wanted to try to get him to tell her. I was very tempted to message the kid and tell him to stop that I'd beat him with a stick! but knew that would just make it worse.

Blondeshavemorefun · 20/12/2015 15:42

Obv lied about their age then as fb don't allow under 13

Surprised parents allowed it

Def not sure I want to live next door to my employers ......

Flip