Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

Original poster

Should I dump my cm just before christmas?

22 replies

nameshavebeenchanged · 12/12/2006 08:09

Or would that make me a complete cow?

I am sure that I don't want to use her services any more. It's not one thing that makes me think she's wrong for us, it's lots of little things that have mounted up that I've disagreed with or been unhappy about. (I don't want to say what they are but IMO they are important enough to say that Ican't use her any more). I'm sure she has no idea I'm thinking about not using her any more.

So should I say something now or leave it until after the New Year? The obvious factor is that I have to give her a month's notice. But I really don't want to wreck her Christmas!

This woman lives near me and her dcs play with mine so I want to try and do this in as nice a way as poss.

Any suggestions?

OP posts:
CranberryJelley · 12/12/2006 08:15

Maybe I'm a heartless cow, but it's a business arrangement. If you are sure of your decision, then give her notice.

(Assuming you have alternative arrangements made for the new year.)

MerryMegandSnowySoph · 12/12/2006 08:16

Have just handed my notice in also. Thankfully its only two weeks. I haven't been happy with mine for a while too.

Have you spoke to her at all about the thing your not happy about? If you can just politley tell her the things you don't agree with and she still isn't willing to sort something out then yes finsh your child there. There isn't any point you being miserable whilst working. Also in most areas childminders are in demand so your place should be taken soon.

Hope it works out.

Dophus · 12/12/2006 08:18

I would do it now. It;s a nice time to break an there may be people using the X-mas period to reconsider their plans. This way it give her more opportunity to find another children.

good luck. When I told parted company with mine in the summer she cried- it was horrid. I wished I had given here more notice.

Original poster
nameshavebeenchanged · 12/12/2006 08:26

I'm waiting to hear if another cm can definitely have my dcs. Hopefully I should hear from her in the next day or so. I don't feel that I should say anything to the present cm until I hear from the new one.

I agonise about upsetting people!

OP posts:
Original poster
nameshavebeenchanged · 12/12/2006 08:26

BTW I've name-changed just on the offchance that the cm is a MN too!

OP posts:
nailpolish · 12/12/2006 08:44

its a business arrangement, its not a favour your doing her

thats the way the cookie crumbles, so to speak

hand in your notice, shell probably have someone new soon to replace you, i wouldnt worry

crace · 12/12/2006 09:34

I agree, it's a business arrangement. What a shame though, have you been with her long?

dmo · 12/12/2006 09:44

just tell her
it will wreck your christmas if you dont and
i will only wreck her new year if you tell her later

lots of people start jobs in jan - new start and all that i am sure she will find somebody new soon

have you lined up a new childcare place for your dc?

cyrilthefestivesquirrel · 12/12/2006 11:35

I would tell her now.

It is a business arrangement, as others have already said.

As long as you give the required notice period, it's fine.

I am sure she will find a replacement child soon enough. Most childminders don't have too many problems filling their vacancies (depending on area obviously)

FeelingOld · 12/12/2006 12:01

As others have said, as long as you give the correct amount of notice. If you are unhappy and you have cover do it now.
I have had 2 mindees leave me this year to start school and I cried on their last days but this is the nature of the business we are in, all of our mindees have to leave us in the end for various reasons.

NAB3 · 12/12/2006 12:16

If she wanted rid of you what do you think she would do? I would give notice now. Why stress your Christmas worrying about it?

StrawberrySnowflakes · 12/12/2006 13:17

you are best being honest with her, communication is vital and whatever your issue may be, you may be able to sort out betoween you. Have you actually spoken to her reg your issues?..does she even know there is an issue?

Original poster
nameshavebeenchanged · 12/12/2006 15:43

TBH I'm having second thoughts! The cm is not someone I'd ever be friends with. There have been lots of issues but each on its own is not dreadful...like for example a couple of times a week she keeps us waiting on the doorstep for 10 mins while she drops her dd at school...and she won't let ds wear 'big boy pants' in her house even tho he is 90% potty-trained (which has set him back quite a lot)...and she won't cut up fruit for him at lunchtime out of some silly reason...and she changes arrangements without telling me...and she spends her mornings with him at Waitrose or in the shopping mall (both of which he hates). There have been other things too.

She just seems generally quite self-centred. Ds is a real little bookworm but she never reads to him or does anything to encourage literacy or general understanding of the world. She just seems to tolerate his presence rather than actively doing things with him or enjoying his company. So....what do I do? I don't think she's a bad person as such, just not my sort of person.

What would you do?

OP posts:
irishyouamerrychristmas · 12/12/2006 15:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Katymac · 12/12/2006 15:47

I'd say look for another childminder - then give her notice

If you are feeling generous just give her notice and don't take your child

If it's ending for "difficulties" then that can be easier......

Good luck makinga decision

crappywappynamechangingwuss · 12/12/2006 15:47

I'd dump her as well from what you've just said.

I read the threads re CM's on here and it always makes me hope that my CM never dumps me.

StrawberrySnowflakes · 12/12/2006 17:34

she sounds terrible and shoudnt be doing the job if she cant be botherd helping you toilet train him and cut up his fruit etc..im just learning, but i do all of this and obv much more..sounds like she cant be botherd..get onto cis website and see what you can find..good luck

santasweetdreamer · 12/12/2006 17:38

well I'm a childminder and I'm shocked you've stayed with her this long!

StrawberrySnowflakes · 12/12/2006 17:41

when she was late cos she was dropping her own LO at school were you early/late?..did she give you any explanation when she got back?

dmo · 12/12/2006 18:36

i think if you are unhappy with her care you should not have to give notice
sounds like she has enough money anyway the amount of time she spends shopping!

i had wooden floors laid when i became a cm the the reason of potty trainning, painting and spilt drinks

do not put up with this, i treat my job as a job that means i do not wash, iron, shop, dust or clean my house when i am working

Original poster
nameshavebeenchanged · 12/12/2006 19:29

Well....it's done.

A big glass of wine for me I think!

I have a new cm lined up, one I've used before and really like, who knows that my ds is semi-potty trained and is fine with that.

I just drove over to the prsent cm's house and stayed and chatted for 10 mins or so. I managed not to say anything offensive or accusatory and we parted in a friendly way.

How good is that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OP posts:
dmo · 12/12/2006 20:22

well done you

New posts on this thread. Refresh page