how do u settle a 2 yr old in with cm after nursery?

[snowfallinthesahara]

hi,ive had some really helpful advice from badgerhead about cm situation,but wd really like some more help..i just need to figure out if cm's reaction is normal or am i really going to have a hrad time settling in ds anyway?

want to change ds who is 2(he's been at nursery since he was 7 months)to a cm and hv met a potential cm at the playgp we go to.
went to see her,she seems nice,ticks all the right boxes & good refs at the playgp.
has a sort of no-bones grandmotherly approach.
took ds for his first settling-in session,left him at the front door as per cm's request when i returned an hr later...apparently,he'd cried for 45 mins straight.
the cm seemed quite rattled and actually unsure if she wd take him on!
i Had expected tears,as he'd just been suddenly left with her,altho he had seen her at playgp before--but didnt expect her to seem so unsure all of a sudden,as she saidwell all i can say is,we hv got a months trial and that he wd be Hard work to settle in,as hes had nursery before!

but she also said once he had settled down,he did chat with the other 2 yr old there and made an xmas card---but the visit left me Apologising for his 'behaviour'.
im now thinking,wouldnt that be a normal reaction to expect of a child?he's normally a happy,cheerful boy altho he can be quite an attention-seeker.as 2 yr olds can be.
and what shd i make of her response?this is my first experience ,so id really appreciate some advice...

I find it quite strange she wanted you to leave him at the door. I usually suggest parents bring them in and settle them then say a quick goodbye reassuring the child they will return, it seems odd if your son is used to being left at nursery why he would be so upset, but maybe its the leaving at the door. I wouldnt give up at the first attempt, and dont ever apologise for your son being upset it is natural for children to want to be with their parents!!!!!

I agree with S88AHG, this is quite normal, it is a new situation for him and he will need settling, have another settling in session, and also maybe spend more time with the CM too if poss, like could you pop for half hour one day for a cuppa? If it were me (the cm) I would welcome this. That way you get to know her better (and see if your childcare values are similar)and your lo will be reassured hopefully about you and the CM. Also make sure you have a settling in period were you don't have to give notice.

I would normally invite a parent in for a first settling-in session, not necessarily because the child wants it, but also to reassure a parent. However good a childminder might be, I think it is still hard for parents to leave their children, and everyone needs to be happy.

Unless a child is happy to stay, parents are more than welcome to visit for an hour or so for as many times as is necessary to help their child feel comfortable.

In the childminder's defence, perhaps she thought a quick goodbye at the front door would be better than a prolonged goodbye in the lounge??