Chilminder/nursery??

[DebsA]

We have been using a childminder for 6 months for my son who is now 18 months old. The choice of childcare at the time was purely based on my son's separation anxiety levels and I thought that a childminder would be better than a nursery. He is happy in the household (and is spoiled rotten) but a lack of routine and what I'm starting to view as lazy caring (TV on all the time, filling up on snacks to make up for refusing to eat a proper lunch - then refusing to eat tea at home) I'm now starting to wonder if I've been a bit duped by what I should agree is acceptable within a parent/childcarer relationship. My vibrant toddler is proving to be easily bored and I'm now wondering whether it's time to seek an alternative in the form of nursery.

debs,i think your cm sounds appaling and i dont think its the type of care you need to change for your son BUT its the carer.
the majority of cms do not have the tv on all day and do have structure.i feel you are right that your cm is providing "lazy caring"
i am a cm and we are always kept busy with daily planned activities,the mindees dont have a chance to get bored! and i certainly would never fill a child up on snacks if they had not eaten their lunch my rule is no lunch no pud!
have you looked into other cms in your area?

Hiya - I have but to be honest if we're going to make a change I'd really like it to be close to where I hope he'll go to school (for all that hope means) so that there won't be any need to change again when he starts...so far there hasn't been anyone - hence the nursery option as there's one close that's excellent

I feel terrible as I'm trying not to be too damning...he goes to playgroups and has a lot of fun but I just can't quite get my head round the freestyle law that prevails - sleep's another issue too.

I would arrange a chat with your childminder and let her know that you are not happy with the care.
Offer to work together for a month to overcome all issues making it clear that you will change carers if there are no improvements

If he is happy there I too would try and get the cm to address the issues that you are not happy with. It could really upset your son to move him. I'm afraid nurseries are not usually a good choice for children who like a close bond with an adult etc. I would think thru ways of saying what needs to be said in a positive way. Perhaps I need x to have a regular day time nap whenever possible so we can give him continuity whilst he's with us, what are you daily routines so we can decide on one? At tea time he's not eating I would appreciate it if you could limit his afternoon snack to fruit, or perhaps you could provide a packed tea so he can eat earlier?

Having a chat is the most sensible option I agree, but I've raised all issues on several occasions...with little success. It would seem that as the vastly more experienced parent, her way is the only way

Well perhaps you need to state that if you can't work together on the issues then you feel you will need to look for an alternative. Check the nursery has a place first and perhaps see if you can go for a visit with him and whether you can reserve a place etc. If she isn't prepared to take you seriously then so be it!

does she go out every day with the children? If so, she can't be that lazy.

18 mths is probably a little too young to being doing whole days at nursery. I suppose it depends what kind of hours your ds will be there.