Struggling to settle in new position

[lovebeingananny]

Hi, I have been a nanny for the last 24years, and have always found it easy to settle into a new position fairly quickly!

I started my current position a month ago, after a long term position of 5.5years. I thought to begin with that I was missing my old charges. BUT I just don't seem to have the enthusiasm for this position.

The family are lovely, and very appreciative of all that I have done. But I just don't seem to have the 'spark' that I usually have. I am also dealing with long term health issues, which I know isn't helping. Also taking a prescription drug that has numerous unpleasant side effects.

I can't decide whether I should give it a bit longer, or hand in my notice go home to my parents for a bit, and re evaluate what I want out of life?!

Has anyone else reached a point in their career, where they just feel it's not the job for them anymore?

Is there anything in particular you're "struggling" with? If certain things changed would you be happier?

I'm very sorry to hear about your health issues. Side effects from certain medications can really lower your quality of life, but it is something that is hard to explain to those around us, and certainly too personal to describe to a new employer.

You seem aware of the family's liking toward you and of the fact that they appreciate what you do for them. It doesn't seem so much that there is a problem with the job per se, or with the new children; rather, from reading your post, I get the impression that you are having a rough time in general, especially due to your health issues, and it sounds like you need a break.

It's hard for us nannies to leave a position we feel is not right for us, or that we just aren't 'feeling'. We think of the children, we think of leaving the family in a bit of a twist having to find someone else, we think of everything and everyone apart from ourselves.

However, I think you should step back and take care of yourself for a while. Move in with your parents and focus on getting better. Take a break from working, rediscover your hobbies or find some new ones, and just let yourself be for a little while. You might discover you miss nannying and find yourself looking for a new family. Or you might realize that that period of your life is over, and you're ready to embark upon a new adventure. Whatever you decide, though, will be on your terms and at your own pace, and you'll be happier for it.

Good luck! :)

Thanks cheesecake I think you are spot on, it's not the family or job....its me! I have days when I think leaving and having a good few months off, will help. Then days when I think I should just keep going and let things settle.

I'm having another scan next week to see if I have Bone Mets, which is playing on my mind. I'm tempted to see how that goes before I make a decision. Think maybe I'm having a mid life crisis...at 40!!!

I'll give myself a couple more weeks, and see how things go. I really don't want to let them down, BUT like you said we have to put ourselves first, occasionally. Xx

Waiting until after the scan sounds like a good idea. Once you have all the relevant facts you can make a better-informed decision on whether to stay or not. Also, don't feel like you have to rush making up your mind either. It'll take as long as it takes, and that's okay. Sometimes putting ourselves first is the bravest (and most difficult) thing to do.

Good luck with your scan; I hope you get the results you want.

Hi love being

I just wanted to say that as someone who employs a nanny, whilst I would be disappointed to lose someone I would completely understand. Although you may not wish to share all the details I would much rather know if a nanny is feeling that the job just isn't 'right' for her. Childcare is too hard a job to do if your heart isn't truly in it!

I actually have the dilemma from the other side at the moment - I have a mat cover nanny who I suspect isn't enjoying the job and who I feel isn't the right nanny for our family, so I am worrying when at work. But I equally feel terrible telling her that it just isn't working! It's very difficult as nannying is such a personal relationship - but ultimately it has to work for everyone and sometimes it just doesn't! I honestly think you would actually be doing the family a favour as well as doing the right thing for yourself.

Good luck and I hope all goes well at your scan

Thanks for the replies. crumpets I appreciate what you are saying, but thankfully I am still doing a 'good job' so my boss is very happy to leave her little one with me, and goes to work without worry! Sorry to hear you are struggling with your nanny!

I think I need to get the scan out of the way before I make any big decisions. I think once that's out of the way, I can relax and hopefully start enjoying the job more. However if that doesn't happen, then I will talk to my bosses and explain that I can't continue. Which I know will be a shock for them, but I think the right thing to do for all of us! (Hoping it doesn't come to that though)!!

Hi lovebeing

I hope you didn't think I was suggesting you weren't doing a good job - am sure you are, you sound a lovely nanny! You do need to enjoy the job though ( like any job really) both for yourself and the children as I think, over the long term, kids do pick up on someone who isn't 100% happy. What I was trying to say was that in doing what is best for you I think you would probably also be doing what is best for the family in the long term.
Good luck with everything.