CM CLUB:Minor Dilemma!

[StrawberrySnowflakes]

Got 3 mindees today plus dd
2 of mindee's and dd ate all of their lunch, third mindee(3yr) (regular mindee)barely ate any and it was what she chose to have.
So 2 mindee's and dd got dessert as i have 'no meal (or significant amount eaten) no desert'rule which applies to all even dd.
mindee 3 didnt get one..
bought choc to make cornflake cakes today, mindee three just gone for nap, so made them whilst she asleep (other probs as well as not eating meal)..now..mindes and dd will be having one of cakes soon..do i give mindee 3 one too?..and if she still asleep, should i give her one to take home??
feel a bit rotton, but i cant go back on what i have said since day one, its just this mindee 'doesnt' seem to get ' no meal, no desert idea' and as theyve hardly ever eaten even the smallest portions, they hardly ever get desert..p.s they do get a snack morning and afternoon, but it is healthy one, not sweet, so she's not starving till mum picks up.

Hi Strawb, I have very similar rules. If mindee won't see the others eating their crispy cake then I would give her one to take home.

yes, thats my thinking.
well mindee 3 has just woken from nap and other mindees have gone having eaten their cakes ages ago..thing is when she getts home i 'suspect' cake will 'be' dinner if she gets one IYSWIM
dont want to leave her out, just dont want to send message that shell get one anyway later???..am confused over this one!

If she hasn't seen the others making or eating these I wouldn't make an issue of it, if she asks I would just say well you are going home for your tea soon aren't you and explain to parent she slept thru the others eating them and it was getting on by the time she woke up. hth

well she was here for tea tonight as mum working till 5.30, so collected at 6pm..and she ate all but very small amount of mashed potato, so had yogurt for desert and snuck two cakes into mums bag for when she got home..hope thats ok

Could you make puddings just fruit or yoghurt and keep the crispy cakes/other sweet things for pm snack? Keep the am snack as fruit too.
I try to encourage main course first but don't have any rules for pudding. All the food is there to be enjoyed, and if it's all fairly nutritious it's really no big deal what order it's eaten in.
Children will learn by example as they get older and more able to copy and understand the cultural order of courses.

have started doing fruit for dessert and yog's etc for snacks, so at least she will get something..thanks for suggestions