Au pair seeking advice from parents

[englishaupair1994]

Hiya, (apologies for the long post) I´ve been au pairing in Spain since August (this year), its my first experience being alone abroad and after a rough few weeks of homesickness I have settled in really well. I originally signed up to do until next June with this particular family (10 months). However I am having doubts now about the length of time because I am struggling a little at the moment. We live in a really secluded village with probably less than 200 inhabitants, which I didnt realise before I came here. We are half an hour from the city that offers transport to other places, but there is n way of getting to the city unless I get a lift from the parents.. Which I have been doing most weekends because I have made friends with other au pairs in a city about an hour and a half away from me.. but it doesn´t make me feel great because I feel as if they expect me to be going out in the village on the weekends. I know they expect me too because the mother has been really pushing me to make friends with a group of spanish girls I met when I first came here but we didnt get on all that well and they never really invited me out again. So obviously Im not all that enthusastic about it. I enjoy having my own space and even in England I wasnt out every weekend. Also the mothr gets very anxious and has lots of nervous energy, as an experienced and qualified childcare practitioner I really try to offer as much support as I can but I have to go to my room when she puts the baby to bed because it is so excrutiating! I wouldnt mind but she talks about th same things every day and tries to find excuses for the babies behaviour etc etc... I can only talk abotu something so much! So basically what i´m asking is, as parents that have had au pairs before..how would you feel if somebody gave atleast two months notice, but left before there contract actually finished? They are lovely people, but I feel pressure from them and I dont want to have to explain myself if I dont want to go to a party! Any advice would be appreciated, thanks so much!

I wouldn't give two months notice, they might get rid of you before then if they find a replacement. If it's not working out, just give your contracted notice, but be prepared that they might ask you to leave sooner if they feel it has soured the relationship.

I always ask my au pars for one months notice and they have always given at least this. However, I employee other staff and know they are not bound to me and will leave for their own reasons. I think some AP employers forget this.

Is there any way you can improve relations? Some families (well mums and dads) need their own time in the evening once the children are asleep. Is there any way you can give them that space? I would also speak to the parents and say you will be relaxing in your room and reading etc as you don't normally go out each weekend.