Au pair or mother's help?

[RugbyWidow7]

Hello, we have two boys aged 4 & 1 and are expecting another baby next year. We know we'll need help with light housework (we have a cleaner) and childcare - possibly the school run / pre school run and potentially to allow me to go back to bed in the daytime after a rough night with the newborn.
Does anyone have a mother's help? What are their duties, how do you find one etc? I can't seem to find any info on them.
We are considering an au pair but feel nervous about getting it wrong with a new born baby in the house and all the associated tiredness / hormones and a stranger in our home.
Please can anyone who has had one or both advise me on this, as we haven't had experience of either before. Thank you!

Au pairs are generally not experienced or qualified enough to have sole-charge of children under three (although there are exceptions). They would be fine to do the school run for the oldest child and entertain the toddler while you were in the house. Maybe take the toddler to playgroup for a couple of hours. Not the right choice if you want someone to have the toddler and the newborn while you're asleep though.

A mother's help is a very variable role, it's not as clearly defined as an au pair role. They can be live-in or live-out. They can be older/retired ladies who have had their own children, mums who have children at school or young people who are studying/recently qualified in childcare and looking to get experience in order to become a nanny. Some will do lots of 'housekeeping' type things, others will do mostly childcare. It will really depend on what you want/need. A mother's help will cost more, it they live-out you will need to pay at least minimum wage.

IME there are very few people who are skilled at both housekeeping and childcare, as your children are so young I would concentrate on finding someone who is great at childcare and maybe employ your cleaner for a couple of hours extra instead of trying to find someone who ticks both boxes. This is particularly true when you are looking to pay at the bottom end of the scale i.e. au pairs/mother's helps.

Personally I would go with a mother's help because I wouldn't want someone living in the house, but that is a very personal decision. I would look for someone qualified in childcare who wants to build their experience. It's very hard to get experience with newborns so you should get a lot if interest from high quality candidates. A combination of being genuinely interested in childcare as a career and needing your reference for their CV should mean they try hard to do a very good job!

Thank you so much Nuffsaid. That's so helpful! How would you go about finding a mother's help, is it an agency thing again?

You could go to an agency. You could also look on childcare.co.uk or gumtree. Or advertise locally if you have a local uni/college that offers a childcare course. Or even word of mouth if you know anyone who has a DC who works in nurseries or is looking to become a nanny etc.

Decide as much as possible what you want in terms of duties and hours and what you will pay in advance because you'll get more interest if you advertise with a solid offer. If you can afford it I'd consider getting them to start a bit before the baby is due so that you're all familiar with each other and you've had a chance to show them the ropes before the baby turns up. I would also consider paying for them to do a paediatric first aid course if they haven't done one already (costs around £100 for a comprehensive two day course).

Thanks Nuffsaid great ideas.

A mothershelp would generally do household tasks and occasional sole charge childcare to give mum a break. They could do whatever you want them to do, so try to create a job description. What makes them a mothers help rather than a nanny is that they are not going to be left on their own for long periods and the majority of their time is not childcare but is more helping around the home with general tasks.

It may be a good position for someone looking to become a nanny as they want the new born experience which is hard to get. As time goes on your job may become more of a nanny job if the amount of sole charge care increases.

Have you thought about pay? A job like this would require at least National Minimum Wage and from April next year would be National Living Wage if they were aged 25+. You would need to do Payroll and in a few years time would need to offer a pension scheme (don't panic about that, the payroll company will be able to help, plus it is not for a couple of years if you are a first time employer - do you currently employ your cleaner?).