The child has had stable child care, but it will be changing. Life does change, it's important that it does. The little girl will be fine. She will not remember a thing.
The stable childcare is her family. We need to have the confidence to commit to this, so we can make the choices necessary for our children.
My son remembers absolutely nothing of his day to day living abroad, he can't remember even his own room, or some of the toys he had there. He doesn't remember traveling on planes, or seeing skyscrapers or helicopters even tho at the time he was fascinated by them. He knows he's been to the pyramids, as he had photos, but he can't remember anything about any of it.
I believe that Having a child who can manage change and adapt knowing that his/her parent loves them is what is desirable here.
Some childminders have a nerve. Some are more reasonable and recognise the value of a positive relationship with the person who is paying the invoices.
The woman refusing to discuss what is a major change to a parent of a child of 3yo is what is most telling here.
A cm has to make the time to hand over, update the parent on the young child's day, not just a tarrah and a cheery wave. She must have known that there was a possibility that parents would want to discuss the changes, ask questions and raise queries.
I'd give the woman one more chance to explain things, but that would be it.
I've just removed my son (9yo) from a cm who uses emotional blackmail to keep her clients despite offering very little in the way of a positive environment, refusing to provide a stimulating and productive setting as she had done previously. In short the children are ignored and bored.
In the end I had to take advantage of her completely mismanaging a situation AND shouting at me and I ended the arrangement.
It's very easy for a cm to provide an adequate environment for a baby. As our children grow, we need to make sure the cm arrangement has developed too.