Live in nannies - what to provide/guidance please!

[JugglingChaotically]

We have found a new nanny- we have had nannies for many years but never life in.
Our new nanny is from Australia and hasn't been a live in nanny before either.
Assume she eats with children/us/on own as she chooses - we add her food likes to our groceries orders.
But do we provide other things - shampoo, shower gel etc. (clearly will make sure the bathroom has all of that on arrival !)
What else?
Any guidance on how to make relationship with live in nanny work best would be great. She has agreed to do some housekeeping/dog walking in her role given DDs at school lots in term time which is great.
How do weekends work?
She will have large room and en suite shower room but not a flat!
What other things I need to think of?
Will ensure TV and Amazon prime in her room.
What else?
She is very sociable and has friends here so will be out and about at weekends I am sure!
We did look at au pairs but have decided to do that next time!
Thanks

Typos and too many !!
Sorry
But advice appreciated.

Anyone??

Set of her own house keys. Tell her about rules like no loud music after a certain time. Make sure the kids know that when she isnt working dont expect her to do stuff with them

My employer supplies all my food and drink, towels and bedding, loo roll and cleaning supplies for my rooms and bathroom. I supply my own cosmetics but it's a nice idea to have a few bits in when she arrives from a different country, I would let her know that you plan to do that though. To find out what brands she likes (although likely to be different here than Oz!) and so she has more room for clothes/possessions in her case!

i eat with my charge as my bosses eat too late, however, if they are having a take away they ask if I want to join them, I occasionally do. They always ask if they are renting a movie from sky and again I occasionally join them.

I have insurance on both their cars and they are really good at arranging things if I might need one at the weekend/evenings. I also have gym membership but generally just use it to take my charge swimming (I must rectify this!!)

Thanks Wizzy and Calliard. Really helpful.
Had been preparing for an au pair so good to know differences.
I know nannies are older and more independent.

Not always older, we all had to start somewhere! I was 17 when I started my first nanny job. My boss let me get on with it my way, we could go where we wanted, do whatever classes I chose, I cooked whatever was in the fridge
/freezer or popped to the shops (my parents bakery was right around the corner and next door was a butcher and green grocers and it was usually all free or very cheap!) for both of us (my charge was 10 months (30 years old in November!)) That job kind of set a precedence and I only went for jobs with laid back, trusting parents!

She's probably got her own phone so chat to her to see if she wants a cheap phone to keep in touch with you or a sim only contract. When I lived in Oz, my employer supplied my phone but as even contract less sims get free calls and texts now, it's probably not necessary.

I would get a load of leaflets/guide books from the tourist information for her to look at, a local road map (or Tom Tom!!) and some info on trains into London and less touristy places to visit.

A nice bunch of flowers and some chocolates in her room too, maybe a welcome to our home/family card! I like a nice card!

Good luck, hope she settles in quickly.

Definitely cover house rules and what you expect and what she expects asap, saves any issues further down the line.

Do you have an agreement regarding partners? Would he/she be allowed in your house? Stay over?

Callaird - thank you. Lots of great ideas.
MatleaveCountdown - haven't thought of house rules. Any suggestions would be great?
Calliard - do you have any too?
Thanks

Do you shop online? Easiest way is to have a fixed slot say every wed 5-6pm or whenever suits. So you, dh and nanny can add things to list the week leading up to it, and you can finalise before cut of day before. Means nanny can add odd things she likes, as assuming she will be cooking majority of food can make sure she has all ingredients for meals, can add when stuff runs out, Can add if she needs certain ingredients say for baking planned with children or if she sees they have run out of kids toothpaste or whatever.

Sort out kitty for expenses each week. You will know if she will need more/ less or if most kids things are free or pre paid around your area.

If your children older than babies make sure they know the rules of her space/ when she is or isn't working. So after 6pm they can still ask nanny things or chat as usual if she's around, but they now need to ask you or dh for help/ if they want something particular done as nanny not actually working

Thanks ArtandCo, we do shop on line and do that with our current nanny. Will make sure we tweak the process to give time to add favourite cereals etc.
Also will be clear on off duty time with children.
(All can tell time.)

Any other ideas on house rules, anyone?

Can anyone help with house rules??

A curfew, incase she wakes the children. Don't know how realistic this is.

Does she have my chores?

Partners in the house/staying over?

Do you want her to be free in your house? Should she keep all her belongings in her room, can she eat with the family, is she invited on family trips ie cinema etc

How much notice if you require her to work on a day or evening off and vice versa

Curfew wise on working nights I guess and courtesy call if staying out on others so we know not worry and to set the alarm.
Things in her room. Yes. I think so. Coat, brolly & shoes in hall cupboard but have enough time clearing up DDs (and DHs??) clutter without anything else
Eat with us - if she'd like to.
Special outings - hadn't thought. Depends I guess.
Notice to work overtime -I would give as much notice as poss but I think always ok for her to say no. Especially at weekends!
I need to work on this one!

I would also cover your expectations if she is ill

I don't think you can set a curfew or need a call if she's staying out. She's an adult presumably capable of looking after your children so should have enough sense to work out how to re set an alarm and to work out how much sleep she needs. Having her home at 11pm doesn't mean she will be more suitable for work as could still choose to drink wine in bed watching films to 5am. If she was live out you would have no idea what she had been up to before work so would only see if she wasn't suitable for work when she arrived. Should be the same for live in

Somethings I encountered as a live in nanny was who was responsible for cleaning the nanny accommodation, nanny or the cleaners?? When does nanny do her laundry, during working time with the children's clothes or at weekends?? Meals at weekends, if the nanny is around does she join in a family meal or cook separately, I ended up eating out a lot as I wanted a break from the children.
As an adult I would have hated a curfew but a courtesy call if nanny is out for the night is a good idea.

Curfew, no. I send a text if I'm not coming home although it's normally planned in advance. I will sometimes text an ETA home if I've been away for the weekend too, as do they if they're away and I'm at home.

I would not be happy if my boss set a curfew! However, I'm 47 and don't have a life!! I have never been told what time I have to be home or to call if I decided to stay out. I do let my employers know if I know in advance that I am going to stay out, as they do to me.

Like others say - you are trusting this person to care for your child, you must think that they have common sense, are sensible and trust worthy, I say trust her to come home at a reasonable hour, be fit for work the following day. If she fails to do so, then you can have a chat.

I also don't think there should be house rules as such, your home is going to be her home, have a notepad in the kitchen and ask her to note down things that are running low/out. Tell her that you don't care about the house being a bit of a mess during the day as long as it's how you left it when she finishes work. (One thing I always mention at interview, if you come home unexpectedly, do not expect a pristine house! I'm very firm on children tidying up after themselves but if they want to get every single toy out, that's fine by me but they have to put it all away before tea. I generally batch cook whilst my charge naps, it always seems to take much longer than I expect so sometimes I end up washing up and wiping down while the children have tea. But the house is always tidy (er than they left it!) when they get home. Again just mention, could you make sure the children's (and your) shoes, coats, hats, pens, books are put in the cupboard before you finish, thank you.

Meal times at the weekend - I do the weekly meal plan and Ocado for all of us. So whatever I fancy at the weekend, I just add to it and I cook while they are doing the bedtime/bath time routine so I am out of the way when they need to cook. I do eat lunch out most weekends, my boss tells me to take it out of the kitty so if it's cheap (??7-8) I do, if it's more I pay for it myself. Sometimes I'll say to my bosses in making a chilli/curry/paella do you want some or they'll say we're have a take away do you want to join us? Sometimes they/I say yes, sometimes no, but thanks! I think you have to make her feel at home and as part of the family. But I would also say up front that you don't get a lot of time as a family/couple so we would enjoy some space occasionally!! My boss and I take over the couch on a Wednesday night for GBBO (if I'm not out gambling at the races!!!) and she's trying to convince me various Saturday night shows are great so it's two against DB but I'm with DB, take me out, strictly, X factor - No!!

I have always been allowed to have friends/boyfriends over, my bosses trust me and my judgement but I do think you can say no guests you have only just met (ie one night stands!)

Thanks all.
Lots of great advice.
Won't have curfew but will ask for text if not coming back - stops me fretting and means we can set the alarm.
Still not sure how weekends will work.
The kitchen is the key one I think - not worried about week days but not used to sharing my kitchen on weekends as I work full time, it's the only time I get to cook and potter and enjoy!

Could you put a kettle in her room and perhaps a little fridge? I don't tend to use the kitchen at all during weekends because I don't want kids hanging off me on my days off, so I eat out most of the time. My contract states food included Monday-Friday and I really can't be bothered to food shop and cook just for me after a week of cooking for everyone else!
It's hard to phrase it though, because I'd be a bit peeved if a family said I wasn't welcome to use the kitchen on my days off. Like for example, if I was ill I wouldn't be going out and would not want to feel shut in my room.
I tend to say at interviews that I like my own space and I think it's important the family have their own space too.

A kettle and small fridge in room is a good idea. Means they will less likely be in the kitchen as early on the weekends as most will like to be able to sleep in, make a tea/ coffee in room, and emerge late morning briefly before heading out.

I think that at weekends you could have a timetable.

As I said, my bosses cook and eat after my charge is in bed so I make sure that I've done my cooking and eating before they come down at 7:30 and then go to my room, although this evening I was running a bit late with my dinner (as I'd made a loaf of bread for tomorrow) and they came down and cooked and we chatted about our week/end, my boss is away most of next week so we had a chat about my charges plans and she reminded me that we need to make birthday cards for his cousin and grandfather, etc.

You could say would you mind using the kitchen between xx and xx, yy and yy and zz and zz at the weekend. They have to be reasonable though! You can't say we will use it between 8 and 9:30, 12 and 3:30 and 6:30 and 8 as she'd have to have breakfast at 9:45, lunch at 11:30 or 4 and tea at 6 or 9pm! You could offer to do a plate for her to reheat later or eat in her room/another room.

I lived in, the best thing is privacy when you need it, so the children told not to bang on nanny's bedroom door at 8am on Sunday morning for instance. I certainly wouldn't expect my toileteries purchased for me. A shelf in the food cupboard for her to buy her own things is also nice, indeed even some space in the fridge for when she wants to get some of her own things (I did). When I was going out I always gave an idea as to when I would be back, as the front door would be left unlocked with the hall light on, so it's fair to ask the question, but curfews are a no no - she is an adult. I only lived in mon-fri so ate with the parents some evenings, went out on others, and sometimes just had a sandwich in my room on other evenings. I would have loved a small fridge and kettle in my room, it makes such a difference to have a cuppa in bed at night or on a sat morning without having to go downstairs and get jumped on. Towels and linen, I had two sets and my own pile of towels on my bed when I arrived, it saved any awkwedness in asking about it and I took care of washing and changing them when I needed to (I used the family soap powder etc). Cut her two keys for the front door.

A kettle fridge toaster and microwave is handy to handy to have in her room so no need to venture out if doesn't want to food /cook in your kitchen at weekends

Agree no curfew as long as she is fit for work none of your business - as stated could be in room watching TV till 5am :)

Weekends and evenings make sure kids don't knock /bother nanny - that's her time off

Thanks all.
Why 2 keys, Janey?
I've asked re kettle etc and said kitchen always available.
DC v clear that room is out of bounds and its on another floor which helps.
But she spent last night in room (ok) but didn't eat supper?
So am worried.