Pregnant nanny / nanny with own child worries...

[Halojones2014]

My lovely nanny is pregnant and I was hoping people who have gone through this before might have some advice.

She is due in March and would like to come back to work once her LO is 4 months old. I’m worried about a few things;

1. My DDs are 3 and 9 months. She will still need to pick up the youngest a lot as she’s still little. Could my nanny say that she can’t do this because of her pregnancy? I know you would do if you’re a mother and had another child but does this change in a workplace scenario?

1. I am considering her request to bringing her LO to work but I think it might work better when my eldest goes to school Sept 2016. Is it OK to offer her a job with a September start date?

1. There will be a 14 month age gap between her LO and DD2. I’m worried that DD2 will get left to her own devices more partly because she will be older than the nanny’s LO and partly because LO is her own baby. Does this happen? How can I check? Can I offer her a job with a trial period to see if it works? I know there will be lots of practicalities to agree upfront (activities, food, sickness etc.) but I’m mainly worried about her having to split her attention.

1. I’m guessing that my DDs will get very attached to their temporary nanny and worried about the transition back to our current nanny. Our current nanny will have only been with us 8 months when she goes on maternity leave and then will have 9 months off if she comes back in September (she wants to leave at Christmas). It feels like a lot of upheaval for them (and me).

1. Is it hard to find maternity cover nannies? I hate the recruitment process. It seems super hard to find anyone good (and I’ve checked on here before about the role, wages etc. and people seemed to think it is a decent job). Are good nannies put off if a job is not permanent?

Thanks in advance.

no experience but from this forum I have learnt that if you agree for her to bring her own child, it is standard to have in the contract that this is subject to review every 6 months (or you could make it more often if you were worried). I don't think you can delay her start date past when she wants to come back, but you can say that she can only bring her child from September.

Your payroll company should be able to advise on the legalities.

Nanny with own child works great for some families, not others.

The thing I want to stress is get it out of your head that you can 'offer her a job', she is entitled to her old job back whether you want her or not. The decision you have is whether she can bring her own child or not.

In answer to your questions....

1. She 'can' do that but she would likely need to take early maternity if she cannot fulfil her role. But I think you need legal advice on that.

1. You can't ask her to come back to work later, but you can stipulate she can being her baby from September onwards. I think it would be kind to offer to pay her the SMP equivalent for those months if you can afford it though, otherwise she's out of pocket because I doubt she would leave her baby.

1. If she's a good nanny she will treat all the children equally and will be used to managing chikdren of different ages. Talk to her if you are worried. And you can say bringing baby is on a trial period.

1. If your nanny wants her job back, you have to give it to her, even if you do prefer the temp nanny. This is one of the risks when you hire a nanny I'm afraid. Yes, it's hard on the kids but they will change school teachers every year for the rest of their childhoods, honestly, they'll be fine.

1. Maternity cover nannies are quite easy to find in highly populated nanny areas (London, home counties etc) but harder to find in rural areas. Some nannies love to do temp work and move around.

Whatever you do, make sure you're happy. Don't feel pressured to say yes to nanny coming to work with baby.

Hedgie - Of course she can have her old job back without her baby! Sorry if I came across differently. My nanny tax company said that if she comes back with her baby it would be a new arrangement (hence "offer her a job").
With point 2 do you mean I should pay her salary plus SMP if she came back in July?

1. Was more a question about how to manage another change... It will probably be fine but I'm just craving a bit of consistency.

1. Glad to hear that!! I live in London so fingers crossed.

Soft - thanks for the contract tip.

I have been the nanny and took my DS to work with me. I must admit though that I went back when DS was four months and their youngest was two years old and I found it incredibly difficult so we all agreed that maternity nanny would stay on so that I could have extended leave.
I went back when DS was about a year and their youngest was by now at nursery. It worked absolutely fine.
Going forward five years and I worked until I was 7 months pregnant (left because my DM was terminally ill) and their latest addition was about two I think but I didn't have any issues with lifting her etc.
Basically wanted to say that it can work!

Rainbow - thanks for that. I thought 4 months, 18 months and 3.5 years would be tough as she's likely to still be up in the night. I would feel better about it if she came back after a year as the LOs would be a bit easier to manage. Glad things worked out for you and sorry to hear about your DM.

I see what you mean about the job offer now, sorry I thought you were saying you might not offer her 'her' job.

1. I meant that if you wanted her to come back in sept rather than July perhaps you could offer to pay her the equavalent of SMP (£130 per week or whatever it is), but I just realised she's not taking her full allowance anyway, so ignore me!

1. If you think nanny will come back, keep talking about her to the kids, invite her for play dates/coffee, and make a calendar for the kids with when nanny leaves, how big her baby is, when it's due, when she might come back etc to help them understand.

how can anyone not prefer their own child over their employer's ?

I don't expect my nanny to love my babies as much as her own! But I'd hate for DD2 to be ignored on the playground for example. I've seen some childminders leaving 15 month olds to climb very big open steps on the playground which made me shudder...

Hi OP, I'm latgely ignorant on this topic but I wanted to advise that if your nanny comes back with her baby (and I know a family who's nanny did and they love it) then make sure that the contract and insurances are clear about what happens in the event of your nanny's baby being injured in your house. Not nice sorry! Important to look at though.

I'm confused that she is going on mat leave at Christmas but not due till March, aren't you only allowed to start mat leave from 24 weeks?

We decided against a NWOC because we were worried about:

• wear and tear on our home from another baby, and what to do of Nanny's baby caused expensive damage
• space in our flat for another toddler, having a second cot, highchair, double highchair
• having to baby proof our home again
• complications if our or their child is unwell- most said they would bring their child if ill, but duvet days would be dull for my child
• split attention- I preferred a childminder with the reduced cost and employer's responsibility if we weren't getting 1:1

Do you pay less if they bring their own child? I would be seriously worried about how the attention would be split if a nanny wanted to bring her own child. Are you sure you want an extra baby in your home? What were your reasons for picking a nanny over a child minder or nursery?

Again from reading this forum rather than direct experience I gather that you pay 20-30% less for a NWOC.