Need to let the nanny go...HELP!

[moodyoyo]

Hi all,

I have a huge dilemma. My friend is doing me and my OH a huge favour by looking after our DD for 4 days a week for next to nothing. But in late September, my little family and I are moving further away from where my friend lives and therefore if she kept helping us out, there would be an increase in travel on her part as well as an increase in petrol. She says this doesn't matter but my OH and I work in London and can't risk her being late because of traffic and also feel bad about her driving for an hour every day.

We've seen two nurseries in the area we are moving to that are absolutely wonderful and accept childcare vouchers and we feel our DD would fair much better in one of these nurseries over having a private nanny.

As the nanny is one of my close friends and is relying quite heavily on us for an income (no matter how small), I really, really don't know how to go about telling her we won't be needed her help come the middle of September and when I do tell her, she might turn around and say she won't look after her anymore in the meantime.

If anyone has any advise for me I would greatly appreciate it. How do I go about telling her our situation?

L x

By being professional and paying her a months money as notice. Don't be selfish by worrying about her leaving as opposed to being a friend and being honest.

I agree with Findtheoldme.

Tell her as soon as possible so she can start looking for something else. Give her an excellent, glowing reference. Be honest with her. Tell her why you think it won't work for you. Tell her you are so happy with the care she's given your daughter and tell her you'll see her as much as possible.

Tell her how awkward it would be for you if she were to leave early and could she tell prospective parents she can't start before mid sept. To be fair, that's only 5 weeks away and most families look at least a month in advance.

Or you could leave it another month and then tell her giving her 5 weeks notice, one weeks work and a months notice. Either way she is going to be upset but I think more notice she'd be happy that you were honest with her.

Thanks for your help I agree with both of your points. I have asked her to go for a social drink and dinner with me tomorrow so we can talk it over in a friendly setting. She's not looking after DD tomorrow either which is good because I didn't want to ambush her after a long day of looking after my daughter.

I agree, be professional about it.
Write a letter to formaly give notice of redundancy. You are not dismissing them, the job has come to an end. You are looking at other forms of care in your new area.

Definitely be professional.

It's even harder in nanny situations than any other job as she is probably really attached to your DD, so it will be about more than the money, but do make sure you pay her as anyone receiving redundancy (I'm not sure what that is!).

Don't feel too bad if she cries...it will just show how fond of your DD if she does.

Do thank her profusely for all she's done, and make it clear you think she's brilliant, but be firm about thinking a nursery will be better for your DD from now on.

Give her a really fantastic reference too (written, with your phone number so that it can be checked).