Hi, I'm feeling depressed about our au pair and I wonder if any of you lovely mums or dads have been in a similar position.
She's really lovely in many respects, and I'm very fond of her (well I was…)
But lately, particularly in the mornings, she's had a very VERY long face. We are a very cheerful happy family - and I feel she's really bringing the atmosphere down. This morning when she came downstairs she didn't even reply when my little boy said good morning to her. And barely replied to me when I said good morning.
Only two days ago I spoke to her about how she was - as she burst into tears at my son's birthday party…saying she missed Spain and her boyfriend etc. I said that if she missed Spain I would totally understand if she went back. She has already had three weeks paid holiday in Spain since she arrived with us in March (we said she could have four weeks' paid holiday a year). She's literally only just got back!
I'm not very good at confrontations, but I took her aside and said that if she needs to go back she must, life is too short to be miserable and homesick, that we would all understand, and also I really need someone happy in my house. She said she WAS happy - we were a 'fantastic family' and she was just feeling unsettled. Her mum and dad (who've I spoken to over Skype) really want her to stay here to learn English. And she SAYS she wants to be here, but her mood doesn't quite tally.
I asked her if there was anything I could do here to make her life better. She said she'd like a bike so I said of course I'd get her one. We are very kind to her - never ever works more hours than we agreed, does virtually no housework as we have a cleaner, just been on a wonderful holiday to France with us (where she also often had a long face in the mornings), I buy her flowers and really have embraced her as a little sister. I help her with her English, found her an English teacher and paid for 10 lessons, my mum has given her some lessons etc etc.
Then yet again today she can barely muster a smile. It's AWFUL. I feel like I'm walking on eggshells in my own normally bright and happy home. She's downstairs right now crashing around in the kitchen with a face like thunder. I don't know whether I should just take it, whether I should mention it to her AGAIN or what. This morning I bought her some flowers for her room today to try and lift her mood and she barely said thank you.
Please help!!!