Would an au pair do this job?

[Waveney]

Our nanny is going on maternity leave and we are thinking of using an au pair while she is away (starting just before the nanny goes). We need someone to pick up the toddler from playgroup and look after him all afternoon (6 hrs a day four days a week, plus the occasional extra afternoon), and also do after school for our older child from 3-5.30. We don't really need housework doing (although a bit would be appreciated!) and we won't need her at weekends. So in total between 25-30 hours childcare a week. Ideally someone with some previous childcare experience.

Does this sound like something an au pair would do? It would work well for us but is it too many hours? We could offer a competitive salary and use of a car, niceish room and so on. Any thoughts or tips gratefully received! Thank you.

Quinoa what difference is there in what name man describes and the job of a nanny?

"name man" Stealthy?

bit of predictive text going on there?

It's nameenam but my phone can't cope! The 10 hour day in sole charge...

Stealth - it's 28 hours a week, includes live-in expenses and being a part of the family plus English tuition.

HRHqueenme - couldn't agree more. Seems like mumsnetters see au pairs as immature teens not capable of anything else other than picking up and dropping off children ages 5-10.
OP, yes an au pair could definitely do the job.

I strongly disagree that "Mumsnetters", whoever that amorphous blob might be, see ALL au pairs as hopeless teens. Ime they (the amorphous blob) are generally more concerned that au pairs are not exploited by families who really need a nanny but are not prepared to pay for it.

Not "anti au pair" at all. More "anti clueless greedy employers".

But that is merely my experience on the childcare threads. Just an opinion.

Thats what gets me, an Au Pair can be highly qualified with perfect english and have ample experience. Not all aupairs want to come to learn study english, alot of them (incl myself at 21) just want to travel and experience another country in a safe way, job home and safety in one package. Backpacking was not for md but I loved aupairing and did 2 years. I have now had aupairs for years and all of them are more than qualified to care for children. They also come with criminal checks and I pay for their first aid. They are fully aware what the deal is, and how much work they should do and pay.

A Nanny on the other hand is highly spoken of yet to call yourself a nanny you need no experience, no training and no paperwork. To become an Ofsted registred Nanny you need 2 days first aid, an online course done in 2 days, and a crb check. Yet people will pay ££££ to employ them and to care for their children. There is very little difference between a nanny and an aupair , its all down to finding the right person for your family.

Let me give you some examples of the ap's in my neighbour hood.
AP1: 24 qualified primary school teacher. Sole care of 2 under 5's. Very generous package and has loved her year here.
AP2; 22, nurse. On second year of AP. Sole charge of 3 under 5. Generous package, is very well looked after. Loving it and considering a 3rd year.
AP 3 22, studying to become a lawyer via distance learning. Sole charge of 1 under 5. Again has had a fab year and truly enjoyed herself.
AP4 19, before and after school care, own car. Second job in coffeeshop. Could not get a job at home and this is the alternative to going on the dole. She works incredibly hard and is saving every penny to pay for uni next year. Again Lovely family and has been very happy.
I can go in and on. Are they exploited? Are the children at risk? Do they sometimes work linger than expected? Yes, but they are compensated and treated fairly.
On the flipside let me tell you about AP 5, 2 children one sole care under 5. Not allowed to eat with family. Given budget of £20 per week to buy and provide her own food that must be kept in her room. Was accused of stealing a potato. Not allowed to take children to anything that cost money (AP paid for playgroup and activities out of her own money as she realized child needed socializing and fun!) AP felt so bad for the children that she stayed on a few months before leaving.
AP6 not allowed to be in house at weekends , expected to leave 8 and not return before 6 as weekends are familytime. Wandered around the village aimlessly all weekend. Left after 3 weeks.
There is good and bad everywhere, just find the person that suits your family. Treat them well, and fair, know the rules and you will have an amazing time.

I hope you told the families of ap 5 & 6 that their treatment of their APS is not on hrh ?

They never replaced the AP's that left, hopefully realized they were being pratts!!!

Unlike HRH I know mainly gap year APs who aren't super qualified but nevertheless have all been super with the kids. I had a Norland nanny before APs and I can't say there was a huge difference in the interaction between the kids and the nanny vs the APs. I asked longer hours of the nanny and expected her to do things like dentist appointments etc but there were few other differences in the care given.

Most of our APs have actually turned down the language tuition and many of the family activities because they see APing as a job and a chance to live in a great city for a while. They eat with us but other than that they want to be out with friends when not working. The MN idea that APs want to go on family outings etc is quite old fashioned although we do always invite ours just in case.

The fact is there is no legal definition of AP or nanny. Neither has minimum training or anything. as long as host families are upfront with expectations and treat their AP kindly and fairly then I think it's between them and the AP to decide what works.

I agree with a lot of what's been said here. But the bottom line is that the majority of au pairs much more input (training and settling in) than nannies.
Which is fine if you have the time, or your job allows you to be at home some of the time. (HRH - I know you work from home).

You'd also have to be quite unlucky to have an incompetent nanny as you'll have previous references to go on. Where as there are many incompetent au pairs and generally you will not have a child care references to allow you to check. So unless you're around you won't know how safely your child is bring looked after.

This isn't such a problem with a school aged child as they can tell you when things are going wrong, but a 2 year old can't and that's why (plus the language aspect) we had nannies until my youngest was older.

OP I really think your child will be safer and better cared for( and it will be ultimately less hard work for you) using a nanny.

The thing is nannies have chosen that profession as a career compared to an au pair who is doing it for 1 year to live in a different country.

An au pair is fine to feed, read, play with a 2 year old, but how good are they going to be at dispelling a toddler tantrum, or getting a child to nap who needs help. They are unlikely to know 2 year old milestones, or safety aspects, or how to toilet train. Will they spend the day teaching, encouraging, or just working out the easiest way to get to 5pm (tv and leave them to play alone).

Personally that is why au pairs are better for over 5s. Because over 5 doesn't need as much self help ( dressing/ toilet/ tantrums/ sleep/ carried), over 5 can say what they did all day, usually more away safety wise ie at roads, and in school a lot more so if they just watch TV or play after school it's not so bad.

In your situation I would look for a temp nanny with own child. Someone who maybe has left last job when baby was born and wants to do part time hours with child until they are a bit older themselves. If they have own say 1 year old it could work well as they would gear afternoon to toddlers ages, know how to settle and support them. You wouldn't need agency fees if you found them yourselves. And the rate will be slightly less than regular temp nanny allowing for them to bring their child with them

Well the official and answer from what Ive read is no but were I live there are tons of au pairs and loads do child are full time.