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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

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Original poster

CM Club - what would you do?

14 replies

LoveMyGirls · 15/11/2006 20:13

OK this requires all your help - pretty please!!!!

I'm trying to settle a 2yr old, he has never been away from his family, he went to nursery for 1 week and hated it, screamed and started not sleeping at night. now his parents are trying again to settle him with me (as its more a home from home environment)

Today was his first day, i picked him up from home and he screamed the entire time he was with me. (only an hour and 20mins)

Tomorrow his grandad is coming with him and staying and we're going to take it really slow. but just wondered if any of you have experience of this type of thing. the little boy seems lovely and very clever when his parents are here but is scared and wont focus on anything but going home when they're not here.

so please words of advice ..........

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Twoandabump · 15/11/2006 20:21

Ask the family for some photos of them and their pets etc, or maybe he has a comforter from home. I stuck the photos on the wall so that they could look at them at any time they wanted.

I know I have had one that was like that, and we said goodbye to mummy, and then when she was getting a bit fraught, then we would go and talk to mummy in the photo and pretend to call her on the phone (toy one). That way they have some sort of connection that mummy will come back.

We also did activities for mummy etc so that when they come and get them, then they got a present like a painting etc. That way they are pleased to see them and also have something to give them that they have done. It took a few weeks, but she was fine, and infact went the other way and used to cry when she went lol.

Original poster

LoveMyGirls · 15/11/2006 20:38

thats what i was thinking but he is just so hysterical he won't listen at all just repeats i wanna go home i wanna go home with hysterical screaming and sobbing in between

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Twoandabump · 15/11/2006 21:03

AT 2 they should have some sort of comprehension that they will go home, but not yet. It seems strange, but I would say keep trying. She took bout 3 weeks, with the first week of wandering around shouting mummy every so often, and the first few days were just a nightmare. They do get used to it, and to be honest if you do an activity that they can join in with, then usually you find that they will. If he gets his own way again, then they will have real trouble with him. I know as my ds was the same, and he used to just scream and cry all the time when you left him, but now he is better after I kept doing it.

It is hard, but they do get there eventually, some just take longer than others!

Original poster

LoveMyGirls · 15/11/2006 21:06

the little girl you had, what hours did she come?

I know they want the best for thier son and just want him to be content wherever he is so they are starting him with 2hrs a pay 2 days a week. would he be better off coming every afternoon for a couple of hours? they are hoping he will come to me full time in january.

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Twoandabump · 15/11/2006 21:11

She came 8-4 every day. They straed her at that as well, and she had never been away from mum,a nd also very clingy. She did actually get better as time went on she became fine. Just used to come straight in and no tears etc.

Original poster

LoveMyGirls · 15/11/2006 21:15

today i had the other children doing play dough/ reading stories and playing with duplo but he just wandered up and down the living room screaming and cryind and repeating him self with his coat on and his bag in his hand he wouldnt let me console him at all. dp was here (luckily) and he sat on the floor and kept trying to speak to him over and over in a calm voice and a couple of times he did get a smile but as soon as any of the other children went over he went back to square one and the total time he spent not crying must have been about 3mins. obviously i have other children to consider so thats why i have asked his grandad to stay with him tomorrow so at least he doesnt scream and cry the whole time and maybe he can get used to us but still have the comfort of his grandad being here and then work on his GD goin in the other room and popping in and out and then maybe he goes home for half the time and slowly increase the ammount of time he spends with me on his own. but i have no experience of this and have no idea if this is actually going to work.

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Original poster

LoveMyGirls · 15/11/2006 21:17

and over what time frame i should expect it to last like this. you're being really helpful and i really appreciate it by the way.

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Twoandabump · 15/11/2006 21:20

Sounds like a good plan. I think that he jusy needs reassurance that they will come back by the sounds of it. You could ask if they are clingy at home, and probably an only child as well by the sounds of it. Wouldn't be surprised if they have been around adults more than children as well.

See how it goes with grandad being there as well. You need to give it a few days at least, but I know how you feel when there are others there as well!

Good luck! - I am off to bed now, (the joys of being pregnant lol) but let me know how it goes

Twoandabump · 15/11/2006 21:21

I would say play it by ear with the time frame.

With some children it is a few days, pthers ot could be a couple of weeks. You will see if there is any change in a few days though I would expect.

Original poster

LoveMyGirls · 15/11/2006 21:22

i wont be far off bed myself as getting up at 6am to start the day at 7am (had a new baby start on monday as well, though she has been an angel!)

Thanks and good night xx

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Original poster

LoveMyGirls · 15/11/2006 21:24

btw hes only coming 2 days this week and 2 next week so with that ammount of time im expecting it to take longer as hes getting a big break in between. i really don't know if i should suggest him coming more days to settle in quicker as they want him to start full time in january and im off for 1 week at xmas. you are right about him not used to being with children and an only child.

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StrawberryMoon · 15/11/2006 22:00

find out everything he 'loves'..food, toys, cartoons, people, animals..sit down with other children and talk about/play with these things, try to catch his attention that way....go outside, go to park and let him be with grandad but join you all to play...run round like loonies and shout louder than him whilst having fun(looking like someone rather mad), hell see its fun and may want to join in??????

good luck hun...youll need lots of patience with this litle one

Original poster

LoveMyGirls · 15/11/2006 22:07

he doesnt like food much at all, he likes drawing and books

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StrawberryMoon · 15/11/2006 22:08

bet he like ice cream??>something like that, although not pc, may win him round ever so sligtly

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