Au pair and holiday pay

[Ghostlife]

Our au pair is due to leave in 3 weeks when her contract ends.

She stopped working last Wednesday as soon as she booked her flight back home. I was not happy doing everything she is meant to do for 3 days but don't want hassle as children have GCSES and AS levels so I texted her (she is out a lot) to ask her if she wanted last 3 weeks as holidays and that I would work out how much holiday pay she was entitled to if any. It turns out she has taken all the leave in the contract - 4 weeks in 10 months already. I really cannot afford to pay her for doing nothing for 3 weeks.

Any advice?

Or tell her a new au pair is arruving earlier now cause she is refusing to work so she needs to get out.

You really don't like any sort of confrontation do you? Try to ignore her moods and expectations, she's occupying far too much of your thoughts.

Personally I would tell someone like that that she is a grown woman and should not need to be looked after by me, but I think you might fear an argument if you said that, and she probably knows that so would become even more difficult because it pushes your buttons. So just ignore her, be uninterested, carry on with your life and let her sort herself out. She'll be gone soon.

I don't like confrontation in my own home but I feel much better as I have emailed her after working everything out. She has had 6 weeks paid holiday in 10 months. I have said she has had a generous amount of paid holiday above what was specified in her contract and her last 3 weeks would be unpaid holiday. I hope she decides to go earlier than planned but if not only 2 weeks left.

I hope she decides to stay with friends or travel a bit to give you a bit of peace. What a shame for you, it's really uncomfortable to have someone in your home who creates an atmosphere.

We are all finding it very uncomfortable. I am not happy as she makes the atmosphere intolerable. She has always been ignorant but why she thinks we would want her here when she contributes nothing is beyond me.

Tell ger to go. I know it's not easy, I'm sure I'd be struggling too but you'd feel better. Can't she stay with some friends? I'm not advocatibg chicking anyone out into the street but what was she thinking?!

I am struggling to see what she was thinking too. She chose to stay an additional 3 weeks without intending to work and just assumed she would be paid. She has saved a significant amount of money already and just wanted a bit more.

She has always been ignorant. Every weekend she would ignore everyone and never said hello or goodbye but would not leave you alone if she wanted something. Her latest thing was wanting a national insurance number saying she needed it for student finance.

She was paid £100+ for 10 hours work a week and the small amount of cleaning I asked her to do in that time was not done properly either. I had to pay a cleaner to do it in the end.

She is just staying in her room or going out. I have said she can cook what she wants but I won't be cooking for her any more.

Gosh she really does sound intolerable! Has she replied to the email?

I've just had our German au pair leave and she was the most negative person I've ever met in my life! The atmosphere in the house was unbearable, but now she's left I honestly feel like I've got a new lease of life I absolutely sympathise with you.

She did not reply to my email just texted me to say she had received it. I can't throw her out as I just can't face the hassle or a show down with her.

She is in her room all the time for her "holiday" which is unbearable. She obviously counted on me funding this holiday and is not prepared to spend any of her substantial savings.

Sorry you had the experience with your German au pair. How did you get rid of her?

Sadly you've been taken advantage of. The NI request make a me suspicious that she has no intention of leaving the UK. Is she from Europe?

Yes she is from a European country. She said she needed it for student finance. I am now worried as I fear you may be right as I was taken aback at the request. Can a graduate from a European country get student finance for a second degree or any degree?

Au pairs don't need an NI number but if she wants to work, get a student laon etc she does. I was more concerned that if your au pair was from outside the EU you as the host would be held liable if she didn't leave.

What was her request to you in regards to NIN?

She said she needed a national insurance number so she could apply for student finance and thought I could magic one up for her.

She already has a degree from her home country but wanted to do another degree in the UK so wanted to apply for student finance.

Not your problem OP. however, I would seriously be getting rid at this stage...and I'm not good at confrontation either.

As a regular employer who runs her au pair through on PAYE it is the au pairs responsability to obtain an NI number. It's not difficult you contact the tax office go for an interview show passport. EU national job done.
Student finance I am aware that there is a qualifying residency period before you can apply though can't remember how many years.

She sounds like a real handful. I would be giving notice to vacate with 24 hours notice. She is taking the piss. She can holiday on her own time, and her own money. Doesn't sound like she's added much to your house.