Do you give your nanny first refusal on evening babysitting

[IHopeYouStepOnALegoPiece]

Or get someone cheaper (.teen babysitter etc)?

No - because I usually get a babysitter from 7.30 and don't want to pay my nanny from 6 when she usually finishes.

But I use one so rarely that the teenagers all go off to uni before I can get to know them, so I use a TA and pay what I would pay my nanny.

Just realised half my message disappeared

I've been asked to stay late to cover until a cheaper local teen can get here to babysit...I wasn't asked to babysit at all until she couldn't get here until later ..I'm probably irrationally pissed off that...oh do you know what, I'm not even sure exactly WHY I'm pissed off...I just am!

I can see why you're annoyed - being asked to bridge until a cheaper resource can replace you. I give first refusal to our nanny but (a) she is live in and (b) I have a pre-schooler

Yes! That's it!

It just feels a bit like "oh Lego can put the baby down and clean up (aka: do the dirty work! )..then we'll just get a cheaper resource whilst baby's sleeping"

I'm actually pretty miffed over this considering how micro managed I am...It feels like actually they don't trust me but the local teen is fine

You don't have to do it, do you? In your position I'd say I would do the whole evening or nothing after your normal finishing time.

If you don't want to do it, say no. I can understand why you would feel somewhat used in that situation so I would just decline and cite a previous arrangement on that evening which means you can't stay.

I can see why you'd be annoyed being asked to bridge the gap. BUT I don't offer babysitting to our nanny first off as it would cost us twice as much as getting a local teen. Plus (and I hate to say this) the kids prefer the teen, probably because she is fun babysitter rather than proxy patenter so they get to stay up a bit later/wangle more stories and it's someone different.

Preschool I asked another mum friend (we did babysit swaps so that was free) or nanny (expensive option so we had a lot of date nights in!)

I would've said no but she asked me to stay late (which I agreed to) before telling me why.

Baby is a (gorgeous! ) fussy little thing and will only go down for me or parents so they don't want the babysitter to do it....just feels a bit...oh i can't explain it!

I appreciate I'm probably being ridiculous though!

I understand on a personal level why you feel a bit miffed. However if the baby will be asleep, you must appreciate that the parents would be foolish to pay you your rate when there are people happy to mind a sleeping baby for significantly less money?

I tended to ask our nanny, unless there was a significant gap between her shift finishing and the start of the babysit.
However, I always pay a lower rate for evening babysitting after the children are in bed.

I'm surprised they're doing that with a baby - personally I wouldn't. I'd assumed the child was older so would be receptive to a "fun" teenager coming. I wouldn't take this as a trust issue as I don't think it is. But it does come over as rather salami slicing, asking you to do some and her to do some.

Would you be willing to do it for the lower rate?